Hello,
Does anyone here have experience of unschooling young children whilst sharing living space with the older generation?
Some background information:?
My husband and I have 2 children aged 6 and 3. My husband works and I do not. 18 months ago, we moved back to my parents¡¯ after they invited us because they were struggling to pay rent. We wanted to help, but we were reluctant. After some thought, we decided we¡¯d be able to make unschooling a richer experience with the money we would save and we would be in a safer neighbourhood, as well as helping my parents, so we went for it. It wasn¡¯t a completely selfish or a completely selfless decision on anyone¡¯s part.
More background: My father was extremely strict when I was growing up. When I was a teen he was emerging from a very serious depression and he slowly, gradually changed. He became more open, less controlling, but he remains judgemental, cynical and controlling to a degree. My mum has not changed much. She is consistently judgemental and cynical (especially so of women, girls and most things feminine), she can be crushingly negative and distant, but also very considerate and generous. They are both very intelligent, thoughtful people with a sense of spirituality and curiosity about many things.
My parents both support our decision not to send our children to school, but they don¡¯t truly ¡°get¡± unschooling, because they haven¡¯t read much (and I don¡¯t think I should throw my weight around and exhort them to). So things are mostly peaceful. My parents have been quite rude in voicing their opinions on the children¡¯s interests and passions (mostly when they believe we are out of earshot) - they bring snobbery and negativity to the children¡¯s enjoyment of anything that includes bright colourful children¡¯s TV, to the point where my eldest does not feel comfortable watching with my dad in the room (if I leave to make food, put some washing in, go to the toilet etc).
I was inspired by Sandra¡¯s website to bring our tv down from the attic and have it in our bedroom (we share a bedroom with the girls). It¡¯s worked well, the girls can watch tv and play switch to their heart¡¯s content and my eldest - who moves her body a lot while watching - can cavort on our beds quite safely, but...
Lately I¡¯ve been feeling annoyed about this decision, even though it¡¯s seemingly working well. It does feel unfair that we have been flexible while my dad remains rigid and now enjoys half of the shared living space all to himself during a national lockdown. It also reminds me of spending my childhood in my room hiding my joy from judgement and although some of that is my personal history and I have some work to do, it¡¯s also partly the reality for my children, which makes me worry if they are getting a good enough unschooling experience.?
I¡¯d love some advice on how others have made multi-generation households work with unschooling. Can I make an unschooling nest within a house that contains some judgement, cynicism and negativity from grandparents? Will mine and my husband¡¯s positivity and joyful embrace cancel out their sneers and snobbery?
