Respond with questions. He said, ¡°I want to go to x first, then go to y.¡±?
Don¡¯t respond with your independent idea. Be interested in why he has that preference. If he has a good reason, do that. If you can do it his way, do it. If you have a good and significant reason not to, just give him brief information. For example say, ¡°Y will be closed by 4.¡± Let him conclude that it may better to go there first.?
You are describing power struggles. You stop them by you stopping them. Don¡¯t contradict. Offer information.?
On Mon, Nov 9, 2020 at 7:12 PM M Person via <mypersonalmessages1=
[email protected]> wrote:
Respect, regard, consideration...
I wanted to, and I have shown these to my son when he talks and tells me his thoughts, his ideas. Like you, Karen and others,? I support his thoughts, even if they are different than mine, and like you also, sometimes I try to share additional ideas that maybe I could have kept to myself and let him work it through, being his sounding board.
He likes to talk and tell me his ideas and does so.? And I like to listen.
The problem that I experience is when I express an independent idea. He gets very upset.?
In calmer moments, he has explained that when I suggest something...even if he has never ventured his ideas on the subject...he gets upset because now he wants to do what I want, to bring me happiness,? but it is not how he wants yo do it. I have reassured him that it is just an idea,? and we can discuss and work it out.
This can be something innocuous, such as which order we are going to do errands. Most every tine, I gladly go the way he wants. The problem is when I express an independent idea,? again wherein he has not expressed a suggestion, he gets very upset and says very cruel things. I would like to find a way to not get so hurt. I have worked on it but failed miserably.
P.s. in this interest in brevity, I am not discussing yet the other scenario that I believe I eluded to earlier.? I am hoping I will have the opportunity subsequent to this.
I will keep listening and reading and learning and am grateful to be able to do so.
