Because I need to make some updates on my page about separation, and checking links, I came to something about wholeness. There have been a couple of things lately, using that same word, "whole," so I thought I could bring some here.
The topic was about a stepdad who was being critical of an 8-yr-old stepson. ?The mom used the phrase "emotionally abusive," and lots of people hwo had never posted before went ape-shit.
One wrote, "I am just saying that if it were me, I would always choose to heal what's left of my child."
I responded:
Her child is a whole person.
She can comfort, but she can't "heal."
Some parents like to think they built a child from nothing. ?Biologically, that makes a lot of sense. ?:-) ?As to knowledge and culture, though, less d"creation" on the part of the parents, and more development of the person he already was when he was born.
Here is a Just Add Light post, recent. ?I'll put another one or more in comments.
Whole people, with lives unfolding
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I see my children as whole people whose lives are unfolding now. They may have memories as vivid as mine. What I do and say now will be part of their lives after I¡¯m dead. And do I want to be the wicked witch? Do I want to be a stupid character that they grow up and live in reaction to and avoidance of? And so if I see them as whole, then I see that as they grow bigger, I grow smaller in their universe.
?(transcript, and recorded interview)
photo by Elise Lauterbach
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Sandra Dodd