***Now, here we are and he is showing much more interest in reading so we sit and help him. The thing is he seems to really stuggle with reading over and over again and when i've read so many stories about unschoolers who begin getting it and take off seemingly overnight i have to wonder.***
What kinds of things are you doing to help him read? It sounds like you are helping him with some sort of reading program or workbooks or such. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the way you've described it caused me to think that.
My oldest started really reading at about the age of 11. Before that time, everything she did led up to that point. When she played games online or on the PS2 or her DS, or gameboy for that matter, she would ask what something said and we'd tell her. It was that simple. When she wanted to spell something we'd spell it for her. Over time of doing that, and reading aloud to her and listening to books on tape and on cd, receiving b-day cards with notes, and letters from friends, and looking up things online, she eventually knew enough words to be able to string them together.
We were just talking about this last night. Margaux, currently 8, has been playing hang man with anyone who is willing and able. She likes 4 letter words right now (and yes, some of "those" words get into the mix). Last night I held the word "eyes" while she guessed. She had every letter but the "s" and she still didn't get it. Chamille, currently 15, was sitting there next to her at the table trying to give her hints and clues. Then she said, "Margaux that's such and easy word, how come you didn't get that one?" She really didn't understand how that was a hard word. So, we all talked about phonics and the crazy way in which the English language doesn't follow phonics very easily. The word "eyes" was just one of many examples.
Chamille didn't know what phonics was, so I explained it to her and she said, "oh, that never made sense to me." I told her that I knew that and I explained to her how I saw how she learned how to read, and how she would ask what a word was and then she'd rarely ask about that word ever again because once she knew it, she knew it, and eventually she knew enough to read. She confirmed that to be true and said that she is still like that with new words, once she sees it and knows it, she knows it for good. (she rarely misspells a word too, except the few that are the same but spelled different based on context and meaning, but even those ones she's really getting better with) Then, since Margaux was there listening in on all of it, we talked about phonics a bit, because Margaux really DOES get the whole sounding out of words and figuring out what a word is, by the sounds the letters make. The word "eyes" doesn't sound at all like it's spelled and we
talked about that, and I admitted to giving her that word on purpose to throw her a doozy which also had the letter "y", which is a letter that's way down the list in a game of hang man.
So, before going to some specialist, think about how your son IS reading and understanding the written word. If you can figure that out, you'll have a much bigger piece of the puzzle to be able to help him in a way that really does work for him. Do you play word games at all? Hang man is really pretty fun, so is Wheel of Fortune, which to me is a version of hang man done all with pizzazz and money. We have lots of alphabet letters on our fridge that we play word games with, nothing formal, just messing around stuff. When I realized that Chamille learned words when she saw them and connected what the word was, I started putting labels on all kinds of things all over the house just for fun. We printed out all kinds of neat sayings too, to hang up on walls, and that was mostly her doing from finding things online that were silly or interesting. Margaux has also really enjoyed board games like clue where you need to at least recognize a bit of the
written words to get it, well, unless of course you have a child with really excellent memory. Chamille used to win Clue all the time before she could read and she never marked anything down on her paper, she just kept a log of it in her head as she found clues.
If he's 12, does he do online chats or gaming chats? Does he have a cell phone to text with? Those are really great ways to learn how to communicate with written word, even with shortcuts. If not, what DOES he like and perhaps others can show you how reading is and can be a part of that?
