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Don't try to read between the lions.
QUESTION:
Where do the characters go when I use the backspace or deleted on my PC?
ANSWER:
If you must know, the characters can go to different places, depending on whom you ask:
1) The Catholic's approach to characters:
The nice characters go to character heaven, where life is good. The characters are bathed in the light of happiness, all their troubles are soothed, and there's not a delete key, eraser, or white-out bottle in sight.? Most of the nice characters are A's and I's, those that have never been, er, involved with other characters. Often, you'll see A's or I's with N's or T's.? These are characters in love: monogamous on the page, together again after deletion. You'll see quite a few Q's too. They seem to feel particularly guilty for no good reason.
The naughty characters are punished for their sins.? In case you were wondering what the difference between a nice character and a naughty character is, I'll tell you.? Naughty characters are those involved in the creation of naughty words, such as "breast," "sex," "objectivity," and depending upon usage, words such as "feminism," "reproductive freedom," "contraception," and "science."? You may ask, and rightly so, why the characters are blamed for the words they assemble, when in fact they are not responsible for their own configuration.? But we feel that a character has an obligation to oppose any naughtiness in its own configuration.? If it truly felt guilty about the word it was forming, it would rebel.
2) The Buddhist Explanation:
If a character has lived rightly, and its karma is good, then after it has been deleted it will be reincarnated as a different, higher character.? Those funny characters above the numbers on your keyboard will become numbers, numbers will become letters, lowercase letters will become upper-case, and the most righteous and good of letters will become C's.? Why C, you ask?? Who knows, but C it is!? If a character's karma is not so good, then it will move down the above scale, ultimately becoming the lowest of characters, a space.
3) The 20th Century bitter cynical nihilist explanation:
Who cares?? All characters are the same, swirling in a vast sea of meaningless nothingness.? It doesn't really matter if they're on the page, deleted, undeleted, underlined, etc. It's all the same. More characters should delete themselves. (nihilist characters are easy to identify.? They're usually pale and tragic, and they smoke a lot.)
4) The Mac user's explanation:
All the characters written on a PC and then deleted go straight to PC hell.? If you're using a PC, you can probably see the deleted characters, because you're in PC hell also.
5) Stephen King's explanation:
Every time you hit the <Del> key you unleash a tiny monster inside the cursor, who tears the poor unsuspecting characters to shreds, drinks their blood, then eats them, bones and all.? Hah, hah, hah!
6) Dave Barry's explanation:
The deleted characters are shipped to Battle Creek, Michigan, where they're made into Pop-Tart filling; this explains why Pop-Tarts are so flammable, while cheap imitations are not as flammable. I'm not making any of this up.
7) IBM's explanation:
The characters are not real.? They exist only on the screen when they are needed, as concepts, so to delete them is merely to de-conceptualize them.? Get a life.
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A Public Service Message For Women To Better Understand The Male
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't, know where to start."? We will then drink beer.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman.? You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this isn't a problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread.? I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu."? For all I know, these are the same thing.? And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV.? If it has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.? (Though one time I was able to survive, by holding a calculator.)
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. If you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2025, I will share equally in the housework.? You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
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A woman was driving her old beat up car on the Motorway with her 7 year old son.
She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her. After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit.
Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.? She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car.
As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"
Her son piped up from the back seat, "I do... because you couldn't catch the other cars!"
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While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her.
Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in?"
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There will be no nursing home in my future
About 2 years ago Alice and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner.
At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room.B
I also noticed that all the staff, ship's officers, waiters, busboys, etc, all seemed very familiar with this lady.
I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.
As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello.
We chatted and I said, I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises.
She replied, Yes, that's true.
I stated, I don't understand and she replied, without a pause, It's cheaper than a nursing home.
AN ALTERNATIVE RETIREMENT HOME - There will be no nursing home in my future........When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.
The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on ?reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you Want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.
P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
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WEIRD FACT
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FACTS
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TIME FOR A LAUGH!
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HAVE A GOOD DAY?
