Enkil frowned.
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"I hardly think it was my fault. Emotions aside, how would I have considered the possibility that Akasha wasn't herself? Such things weren't...considered back then," he defended himself.
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"And she always had reasons behind her actions though they did become more and more strange...and eventually I just...found it easier to withdraw from the world..."
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And from himself but even now that was painful to state aloud in actual words that he would also have to hear.
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"The spirit...well the twins spoke of spirits and the one who may have possessed us turned us into what we were in the first place. So I would not have thought this changed Akasha, for it did not change me...anymore than becoming a blood drinker with the added abilities such brings can change anyone."
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He paused to think, to structure his thoughts into a form that could perhaps be understood by himself as well as another.
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"And even now I have changed yet I do not feel possessed. I am no longer a king, I stand in a strange land of which I have no knowledge and I am as a beggar...a supplicant...Is this not the same, as me not being who I once was?"
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He struggled with himself, with the pretty witch before him, to understand, and came up short, not for the first time. If only...if only he had died a mortal man old in his bed, and never been thrust into this. If only he had never interacted with the twins. And even that had come about because of Akasha, he thought with a sudden stab of resentful realization. She had always been so nearly child like curious about things yet in the end it turned dark and cost them everything even before anything else had come along even if it had. So why...why was he looking, why did he care what had happened? Feeling suddenly confused, angry and lost, he decided to keep all of that to himself...simply because it was easier.
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I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed.
I get along with the voices inside of my head.
Kat