It was great that Beryl called out to us, and I enjoyed reading the various updates. As you can see me talking to Connie about her upcoming grandchild, you can work out that I am “still here” – although just where that is has me in a bit of a muddle some days.

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We had a tough time through the covid restrictions, with all four parents fading quite fast and needing support which it was difficult to give them, and DH stuck for much of the time in Switzerland, while one of the girls was effectively trapped in Scotland with only very limited movement for the best part of two years. Not fun, but we all got through with? lot of Zooming and sending of parcels.

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My mother moved into a lovely care home on October 2021, at her own request, as she had a hip fracture which did not repair well and my father, with increasing dementia, could not grasp why she could no longer run around after him full time. Unluckily she tripped and fell on her first day, hit her head and died 12 days later of a subdural haematoma. Dad by then was in hospital? with a hip fracture of his own and we had to delay the funeral by three weeks until we could? find him a nursing home placement near both the funeral location and my sister and myself (to facilitate visiting). Got all that sorted out and in the interim we had a call from DH’s parents’ GP in Scotland to say his father had only weeks to live and his mother had significant dementia, and they both needed nursing home care ASAP, but she was resisting it (some of you may remember she was always a very “determined” character). That kept us pretty busy, and apart from Mum’s funeral I was with them 24/7 for nearly a month until we finally found a really nice place which could take them both. They went in in early November, and FIL died the first week of January having had eight weeks of rest and comfort at the end, which he richly deserved. It all sounds awful, and it was. Three days after FIL died, my own father died. Luckily my sister and I were able to be with him at the end (and we sat with Mum for the twelve last days as she faded). We did the two funerals for the fathers in one week and then all went down with covid caught at the first one. It took us a while to get over that. I suppose with three deaths in ten weeks that is not too surprising.

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Since then life has been a blur of six-weekly trips north 400 miles ?to Glasgow to see MIL (the girls have been fabulous about taking turns to do the trip so that she gets plenty of visits), endless work to clear out the Glasgow flat as MIL was the original pack rat and never threw anything away, huge amounts of paperwork as executor of multiple wills, four parents’ mail coming here, all bills to be processed and paid, etc etc etc.

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MIL is very frail, and week by week is losing her grasp on the realities of life, but bizarrely seems now happy and content. She spent almost her whole life weighed down by her huge burden of collected “grievances” against the world – and now she has forgotten them all it makes a huge difference to her behaviour!

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I try to get out to Geneva one week in four to be with DH, who had now been off work for some months with stress and exhaustion (not surprising really). When we can, we meet in Glasgow to attend to MIL and her affairs. Some days I wake up and I’m really not sure where I am. I? rely on dog walks and easy knitting to get me through but I am pretty weary myself and looking forward hopefully to more restful times.

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The upside is that the girls are both well and busy. Kitty made partner at Mayer Brown in London at the end of 2021, age 33. She worked very hard while restricted to home and it paid off for her. Charlotte is an anaesthetist at a specialist veterinary hospital only an hour’s drive from here, and is thoroughly enjoying a good working and learning atmosphere. Freddie the labrador and Ellie the crazy Bengal-cross cat take good care of me, and hopefully in 18 months or so DH will retire and return home properly.

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Hope everyone stays well. I see some of you on Facebook from time to time and enjoy your pictures.

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Jenny X

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Agreed, thank you, Beryl.

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Enjoyed reading your update, Jenny, even though it was so very sad.

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