PRESS RELEASE
For immediate release
Release date: 03/12/2021
FAKE NEWS
HUMOR

A research team led by Quincy Raymond Michales, and Quincy Thomas
Holmes, of Miskatonic Medical University have discovered two new genes
potentially involved in Amateur Radio Cheapness disease, or ACD. They
identified them by exploring which genes were turned on and off in the
hippocampus of people who suffered from the disease. The team's findings
are published in the February issue of QST magazine.

Amateur Cheapness disease, (ACD), is a neurodegenerative disease that
involves extreme pain and the formation of protein plaques around
neurons in the brain when any amount of money is spent, no matter how
small. A table below outlines the effects of spending on a typical Radio
Amateur:

Amount Spent Pain level
=================================================================================
$00.00 - $03.00 Little to none
$03.01 - $05.00 Some pain noted, with slight thoughts of building a
replacement
? ? ? ? ? for less.
$05.01 - $10.00 Marked increase in pain, actual designs thought about for
? ? ? ? ? replacement items.
$10.01 - $20.00 Sustained pain, over longer time frames, designs being
drawn up.
$20.01 - and above Extreme pain, and actual urges to construct replacement
? ? ? ? ? devices.
Table 1

A secondary effect was also noted, once the Amateur decides to build a
replacement item, (see $20.00 and above in Table 1), to save money, the
process begins to feed upon itself, as the Amateur shops for parts for
the replacement item, he/she, experiences the effects of Amateur
Cheapness disease overlayed on top of the original Amateur Cheapness
Disease infection. In some cases this becomes completely debilitating to
the Amateur involved. This process is extremely painful. In some cases,
observers have noted this fact by observing statements such as:

? ? ?1. "Oh my God, its like the walking dead in this hamfest, no one is
spending any money".
? ? ?2. "You have got to be kidding me, I paid good money for that
thing, and I'm not giving it away".
Table 2

The hippocampus, part of the brain involved in memory, is one of the
first regions to sustain massive damage, followed by the reasoning
center of the brain.

Many genes were already known to contribute to the disease, such as gene
JT-65, and gene FT-8, but two were unknown, FST4, and FST4W. The FST4,
and FST4W gene action is as of yet unknown, the researchers simply noted
these genes expressed at the time of hippocampus destruction.

In a related study, it was noted that the size of the hippocampus was
actually reduced by up to 12% in Amateur Operators experiencing this
disease. Further this second study indicates that ACD, (Amateur
Cheapness disease), is far more prevalent in the Amateur Radio
population than initially thought, and that signs of airborne
transmission are becoming apparent.

Overall, the new findings improve our understanding of the genetic and
cellular mechanisms that cause ACD. Also noted by the researchers were
some tell tail signs of this disease. Effected Amateur may make
statements such as:

? ? ?1. I bet I can build that for half the price.
? ? ?2. That's outrageous, when I was a Novice it only cost X dollars.
? ? ?3. There's only like twenty bucks in parts here, I could build it
for half that.
? ? ?4. I only buy used if it is 25% of new price.
Table 3

The authors add, there are a number of other symptoms involved in this
sadly debilitating disease, however they are far too many to cover in a
single paper. Thus, more funding is requested for the effort.



On 8/23/21 6:17 AM, Erik Kaashoek wrote:
> Many people buy first from the cheapest seller and only later inform
> themselves about the tinysA
> --
> ------------------------------------------
> For more info on the tinySA go to
>
73,
Dave,