A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away?
from his Bar Mitzvah, but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith.?
To remedy this, he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage.?
A year later the young man returned home. "Father, thank you for sending me to the
land of our fathers," the son said. "It was wonderful and enlightening; however, I must?
confess that while in Israel I converted to Christianity."?"Oi vey," replied the father, "what?
have I done?" So, in the tradition of the patriarchs, he went to his best friend and sought?
his advice and solace.?"It is amazing that you should come to me," stated his friend. "I, too,?
sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian." So in the tradition of the patriarchs,?
they went to the Rabbi.?"It is amazing that you should come to me," stated the Rabbi.?
"I, too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian.? What is happening to our sons??
Brothers, we must take this to the Lord." They fell to their knees and began to pour out their?
hearts to the Almighty.?As they prayed, the clouds above opened and a mighty voice said,?
"Amazing that you should come to Me. I, too, sent My Son to Israel..."?
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To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren,?
nieces and nephews, or students ...here is something to make you laugh.?Whenever your?
children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence?
did not extend to His own children.?After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.?
And the first thing he said was, "Don't."?"Don't what?" Adam replied.?
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.?"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve ...?
we have forbidden fruit!"?
"No way!"?
"Yes, way!"?
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.?
"Why?"?
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, (wondering why he hadn't stopped?
creation after making the elephants).?
A few minutes later, God saw his children having an apple break and was he ticked!?
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God, as our first parent, asked??
"Uh huh," Adam replied.?
"Then why did you?" said the Father.?
"I don't know," said Eve.?
"She started it!" Adam said.?
"Did not!"?
"Did too!"?
"DID NOT!"?
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should?
have children of their own. ?Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed! But there is?
reassurance in this story. ?If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and?
they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what made?
you think it would be a piece of cake for you??
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Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on?
the aspirin bottle:? "Take two aspirin"? and "Keep away from children."?You spend the first 2?
years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them?
to sit down and shut-up.?Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.?
Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.?
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child ... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.?
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children?
more awful than your own.?
We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!?
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.?
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The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate an occasion with a "little" stowed away rum.?
Unfortnately he got drunk and was still drunk the next morning. ?The captain saw him drunk and?
when the first mate was sober, showed him the following entry in the ship's log: "The first mate?
was drunk today."?"Captain please don't let that stay in the log", the mate said. "This could add months?
or years to my becoming a captain myself."?
"Is it true?" asked the captain, already knowing the answer.?
"Yes, its true" the mate said. "Then if it is true it has to go in the log. That's the rule. If its true it?
goes into the log, end of discussion" said the captain sternly.?
Weeks later, it was the first mate's turn to make the log entries. The first mate wrote: "The ship seems?
in good shape. The captain was sober today."?
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