?
THE POSTMAN
You know, generally speaking, life can be pretty tough
sometimes. It gives us a lot of hard things to do. Going
to work every day, or raising a family are just a couple
examples of things that can be difficult. On the other?
hand there are some things that are easier for some people
to do than others. For example, one thing I am certain of is?
that senility will most likely be a smooth trasition for me
That is just one thing in life that I can probably bank on
ENJOY THE JOKES
?
?
Doug had always been teased by his friends that his wife was more?
successful than he was. Some even went so far as to insinuate that?
he was overshadowed by her and henpecked.?
Doug had a sense of humor and always laughed it off.?
One day, one of his fiends asked the tiresome question AGAIN, "Who?
wears the pants in your family?"?
"I do," replied Doug. Then, after a pause, he added, "I also wash?
and iron them."?
Why does Miss Piggy douche with Honey?
Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork. ?
?
A man returned from a very fancy hospital and was telling?
his friend all about his experience. ?
Man: The hospital I was in was very specialized. ?
Friend: How so? ?
Man: They had a food nurse who gave you food. ?
They had a drug nurse who? gave you drugs. ?
They had a coffee nurse who gave you coffee. ?
Then there was the head nurse... ?
?
?
?
There once was a man from Peru?
Who fell asleep in a canoe?
While thinking of Venus,?
He pulled out his penis?
And woke up with a hand full of goo ! ?
?
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.?
He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long,?
grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man."Can you put me up for the night?"?
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as?
lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese?
tortures known to man." ?"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be?
pretty old as well, and entered the house.?Before dinner, the daughter came down?
the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously?
attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.?
Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But?
during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a?
night of passion.?He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear.?
Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.?
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on?
his chest with a note on it that read,?"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."?
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought.?"If that's the best the old man can do then?
I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window?
and threw the boulder out.?As he did so he noticed another note on it that read:?
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." ?In a panic he glanced down and saw the?
rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better?
than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.?As he plummeted downward he?
saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."?
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