Something cute that I found... It may or may not be off topic.
The Sex life of an Electron
by Eddie Currents
One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro-Farad decided to seek out
a cute little coil to help him discharge.
He picked up Milli-Amp and took her for a ride in his Megacycle. They rode
across the Wheatstone Bridge and stopped by a Magnetic field with flowing
currents and frolicked in the sine waves. Micro-Farad, attracted by
Millie-Amp's characterisic curves soon had her fully charged and proceeded
to excite her resistance to a minimum. He gently laid her at ground
potential, raised her frequency and lowered her reluctance.
With a quick arc, he pulled out his high voltage probe and inserted it in
her socket, connecting them in parallel. He slowly began short circuiting
her resistance shunt while quickly raising her thermal conductance level
to mil-spec. Fully excited, Milli- Amp mumbled "MHO...MHO...MHO"
With his tube operating well into class C, and her field vibrating with
his current flow, a corona formed which instantly caused her shunt to
overheat just at the point when Micro-Farad rapidly discharged and drained
off every electron into her grid.
They fluxed all night trying various connectors and sockets untill his
magnet had a soft core and lost all of its field strength. Afterwards,
Milli-Amp tried self-induction and damaged her solenoids and with his
battery fully discharged, Micro-Farad was unable to excite his field. Not
ready to be quiescent, they spent the rest of the evening reversing
polarity and blowing each others fuses.
BUT WAIT!!! Theres M O R E !
Micro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user. His broad-band
protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output
devices, even if it meant time-sharing. One evening he arrived home just
as the Sun was crashing, and had parked his Motorola 68000 in the main
drive (he had missed the S100 bus that morning), when he noticed an
elegant piece of liveware admiring the daisy wheels in his garden. He
thought to himself, "She looks user-friendly. I'll see if she'd like an
update tonight."
Mini was her name. She was delightfully engineered with eyes like COBOL
and a Prime mainframe architecture that set Micro's peripherals networking
all over the place. He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power
of her twin, 32-bit floating point processors and enquired, "How are you,
Honeywell?" "Yes, I am well," she responded, batting her optical fibers
engagingly and smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions.
Micro settled for a straight line approximation. "I'm stand-alone
tonight," he said. "How about computing a vector to my base address? I'll
output a byte to eat, and maybe we could get offset later on." Mini ran a
priority process for 2.6 milliseconds then transmitted 8K. "I've been
dumped myself recently, and a new page is just what I need to refresh my
disks. I'll park my machine cycle in your background and meet you inside."
She walked off, leaving Micro admiring her solenoids and thinking, "Wow,
what a global variable. I wonder if she'd like my firmware?" They sat
down at the process table to a top of form feed of fiche and chips and a
bucket of Baudot. Mini was in conversational mode and expanded on
ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional acknowledgments, although
in reality he was anyalyzing the shortest and least critical path to her
entry point. He finally settled on the old,'Would you like to see my
benchmark routine?' but Mini was again one step ahead.
Suddenly she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal the full
functionality of her operating system software. "Let's get BASIC, you
RAM," she said. Micro was loaded by this stage, but his hardware policing
module had a processor of its own and was in danger of overflowing its
output buffer, a hangup that Micro had consulted his analyst about.
"Core," was all he could say, as she prepared to log him off. Micro soon
recovered, however, when Mini went down on the DEC and opened her divide
files to reveal her data set ready. He accessed his fully packed root
device and was just about to start pushing into her CPU stack, when she
attempted an escape sequence.
"No, no!" she cried. "You're not shielded!"
"Reset, baby," he replied, "I've been debugged."
"But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support child
processes," she protested.
"Don't run away," he said, "I'll generate an interrupt."
"No, that's too error prone, and I can't abort because of my design
philosophy."
Micro was locked in by this stage, though, and could not be turned off.
But Mini soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike into
his main supply, whereupon he fell over with a head crash and went to
sleep.
"Computers!" she thought as she compiled herself. "All they ever think
about is hex."
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