Daily Clean Jokes and Cartoons for March 10, 2025
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Daily Clean Jokes for?March 10, 2025?? ? ? ? ? Kirk's Clean Limericks? ?? ? On Sunday we got to spring time Ahead at the two o'clock chime. ? ? ? ? ? ? You set our clock early, ????????????And then you were surely Known as ahead of our time. ? Daylight Saving Time really is bright. We defer until later the night.??????????? ????????????With more daylight for me, ????????????I presume that you see In our household, it's called Miller Light. ? - Kirk Miller Why settle for the world as it is.? Work for the world as it should be. ----- Kirk's Puns of the Day:? My bowling league meets every Monday, and I play terribly every time, and it always pisses me off.??My team says I have irritable bowl syndrome. ? Those who study the moon are optimists.??They look at the bright side. ? An auctioneer often looks forbidding. ? A carpenter is a shelf made man. ? When he tripped and fell in the wet concrete, he left a bad impression. ?? -----? ? ? ? Kirk Miller ? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ? ? Quotes of the Day:? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ? ? Today's One-Liner:? ?What did the DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make me look fat?? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ? A Decision Funny ? A king was quite concerned about a decision he had just made, so much so that went to his chief advisor to ask his opinion of it. ? Received from Mikey’s Funnies. ? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ? ? The minister of a well-attended, strong, and enthusiastic church often showed himself ready and able to deal with any situation that might come up. One Sunday, just as the minister was reaching the climax of his sermon, his own young son entered the church, ran to the center aisle, started making loud beeps and brrrmms like a car without a muffler, then zoomed right toward him. ? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ? ? ?A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away.? “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?” ? Received from Da Mouse Tracks. ?? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ? ? On the Lighter Side? ? ?And that's how the fight started ... One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a?Christmas?gift... ?The next? year, I didn't buy her a gift.? When she asked? me why, I replied, ?? ?"Well, you still haven't used the gift I boughimilt you last year!"? ?????? ?And that's how the fight started ... ? Similarly: ? Wife to husband: “Last year we bought my mother a chair for Christmas. What should we do this year?” ? “Electrify it.” Received from Conrad Macina. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ?A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..."?poof. He disappeared without a tres. --- I have a Polish friend who's a sound technician. Oh, and a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too. --- -Have you heard of Murphy's Law -Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong -What's about Cole's law? -No -It's a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream? --- The Secret Service just had to change protocol for when the president is in danger. Instead of yelling "get down!", they have to yell "Donald, duck!" --- A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. Librarian: "They're right behind you!!". --- What happened to the man running in front of the car? --He was tired What happened to the man running behind the car? --He was exhausted Received from Reddit Clean. ? ________________________________________ ? ? What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? ----- A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed, "Doc, you've got to help me." ----- Thought Of The Day:??The Trouble with Reality "The real trouble with reality is that there is no background music." -- Anonymous ? Received from aJokeADay.com. ? ____________________________________________________________ A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" ----- A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies, "the piano player."?The man walks over to the piano player and says, "Do you know your monkey stole my beer?" The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it." ----- My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest." ----- "Today President Bush sent a congratulatory message to the new president of Azerbaijan. Bush also wished the president of Azerbaijan good luck in his fight against Harry Potter." --Conan O'Brien I’ve wanted a dog for quite a long time, but I feel uncertain about where I’ll be living over the next few years, so I don’t feel ready for the commitment yet.Then today I found an app where you can walk other people’s dogs for free, and I just had the happiest free trial of the experience of having a dog.And now I’m all smiling ... ----- More Jokes from ArcaMax.com----- The Jackson Five make their first appearance on The Tonight Show and perform "Never Can Say Goodbye" and "Dancing Machine". Original Airdate: 04/09/1974 Received from ArcaMax Jokes. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ?
______________________________________ ? ? Give?us a sense of humor,? Give us the grace to see a joke, ? To?get some humor out of life, ? and pass it on to other folk? ...?? Have a great?day?unless you have other plans. ? Compiled by: Marilyn L. Van Driesen.? Our New Groups Email Addresses ? Post:?mailto:[email protected] ? Subscribe:?mailto:[email protected] ? Unsubscribe:?mailto:[email protected] ? Group Owner:?mailto:[email protected] ? Help:?mailto:[email protected] ? PASS IT ON! Yeah, you can send these jokes to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it!?? ?? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ? |
