Self and Other

Born through no choice of our own, we are entirely self-absorbed. Our hunger, our dirty diaper, our pain, our chill, are all we know. "Other" does not exist.

Gradually at first, then with increasing speed, we learn that others exist. Mother first, the source of food and care, then father, hanging around the periphery, making funny faces and blowing tummy bubbles. Finally, siblings and strangers enter consciousness.

The "Terrible Twos" roar into a parent's life, making them wonder at their decision to birth a child into their world. It is but another stage in the journey of differentiation between self and other. Saying "No" and throwing temper tantrums tests the boundaries of self in relation to others and gives a sense of control.

At four, reasoning begins. Cause and effect begin to make sense, another step on the road to self-realization.

Through the teens, with all its trauma and anxiety, we become increasingly aware of others--the opposite gender, the world outside of home and hearth, political and social trends. We move away from parents toward peers. We begin to focus on one significant other and exclude all others.

We marry, surrendering self to another. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually we allow another to invade our personal space. As much as physical bodies and separate personalities can, two become one. Then the two become three and the cycle begins again.

The ultimate self-and-other divide is between Creator and created. A bottomless, impassable chasm exists between the two. We, on this side, are but a small degree removed from the nearly-complete self-absorption of infancy. He, the ultimate other, is as opposite as flesh and spirit can be.

He identified with us, though. More than that, far more, He became one of us. He took body, bone and blood. He died our death, even the most ignominious death we could devise for Him. In any dimension we might desire to test, He became one with us. Pinched, he said "ow." Pricked, He bled. Awake late into the night, He was tired. Without regular food, He hungered. Holding His breath, His lungs cried out for oxygen. One with us.

Other, that ultimate Other, came to us, bridging the impassable barrier, finding us where we are and bringing us home to Himself.

Now self and other, especially self and other, have melded into one self. He is bone of our bone, flesh of our flesh. We are spirit of His Spirit, joined in that infinite mystery of the realm we cannot now see clearly.

But we know that we know that we know and that is enough for now.

1/7/18

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