Abraham Now, 2/26/25, part 1, 13:53 – Friendship went wrong
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Q: Abraham, some months ago in a long distance friendship with someone I really cared about, and with whom I shared so much fun, laughter and deep meaningful conversations, they suddenly texted me that during a long and - in my perspective - lovely phone conversation weeks earlier, I said something that was cruel and an attempt of manipulation, and they wanted to end our friendship. I was shocked and clueless. I asked them what I said, but wasn't told. To this day I still don't know. And in the end, I had to just respect their decision and let go. This whole experience took a toll on me. But I regained my footing and now have a clear question.
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I recall years ago you said to a young man, “It's about them. It's not about you.” And while I acknowledge that somehow, I must have had a vibration going on that matched the above, otherwise I wouldn't have experienced it. My question is, when is the time to say it's about them, it's not about me? Is it when something feels far out and you simply can't recognize yourself in it? Maybe the two statements “I attracted it” and “it's about them, it's not about me” go perfectly hand in hand.
A: Well, it's about you reacting to them. Or in this case, it's about them reacting to you. In every case, it is a rendezvous. Now you say you're clueless about what happened. And if that is the case, then you have to step back from details that you don't have into a general intention.
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Your opinion is that you were misunderstood. We don't disagree with that. You were misunderstood from your understanding. But that doesn't mean that you were misunderstood from the other’s understanding, because the other person was on a different wavelength, had a different bandwidth.
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Now the confusing part about your question is that you said, after a long and lovely conversation, your friend took issue. Well, if it was long and lovely to you, it's possible that it was long and less lovely to the other. But you can't do anything about the other. And that's what we mean when we say your remedy is not about you, because their vibration is not something that you can control.
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It's about their vibration. Their reaction is about their vibration. Your reaction is about yours. But it's all about matching.?We know that this is not a friendship that you want to just discard. We also don't want any of you to take consideration - being considerate - to such an extreme that you're bending over backwards to calibrate to the vibration of others. That's the opposite of what we think is a good idea, because that's calibrating to something other than your own inner being.
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So the question that you really want to ask yourself… We really want to ask this question of you. Stepping into that field of attraction, how were you feeling? And just as important, as you contemplate this situation, and you're remembering this conversation with your friend, how?are?you feeling?
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Are you defensive? Are you misunderstood??Or are you a creator figuring out how to create??Are you a victim??Or are you standing solid in your understanding of how the laws of the universe work??Are you inquisitive? Or are you defensive? Are you a seeker? Or have you already made up your mind, and you're just trying to ask Abraham to help you place blame somewhere?
Your question is really not a perfect vibrational match to your words. Here's the question that we are hearing from you vibrationally. Abraham, I've had a long time friendship, and something has gone temporarily amiss. Feels like it went wrong. That's my opinion. That was my observation.
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But my intention is to continue to love this person, and to continue to focus upon her positive aspects. It really is that simple.?You don't have to wrestle things to the ground and kill them.
