I looked at the documentation for Groups.io, and I see three possibilities:
- MAKE A SECOND EMAIL LIST: Create a new Groups.io specifically for "charged discussions" or whatever you want to call it. A separate email list for those who want to have these kinds of discussions on email.?
- Pros: Keeps these discussions entirely separate. Women can come and go from this other list as they please, or turn off notices for a while if a give thread on it is really bothering you and you don't want to engage. Given my history of managing our group email, I would say this option is the simplest and best because there is not all that much tech-savvy for email groups here that is needed for the other options. (No offense, them's just the facts as I see them.)
- Cons: Involves setting up another free group and managing it. Not onerous, but has to be done.
- USE KEYWORD IN SUBJECT LINE ON EXISTING EMAIL LIST: Agree that we start putting a safe word (or maybe an "unsafe word", LOL) in the subject line of messages that will contain whatever charged topics we think should have such a warning. (For example: HOT TOPIC: Politics --or preferably, specifically the political topic you are talking about so people can know what they're getting into before reading)
- Pros: Simple, doesn't require a new email list.?
- Cons: People have to remember to use the safe word in the subject line. When we forget, need to apologize and others need to forgive. Also, people who don't want to see unsafe topics have to remember not to read them, and if they accidentally or intentionally read such messages and get upset, not take it out on those having the discussion.
- USE "FOLLOWING" SETTINGS ON EXISTING EMAIL LIST: Each person can go to the groups.io site, login, and in their settings for this group, pick one of two options:
- Decide that you won't receive ANY messages except threads (messages with a given subject line) that you "opt in" to receive. This means regularly visiting the Groups.io website and scanning the group's messages looking for threads you want to follow.?
- Pros: You can completely avoid anything you don't want to read
- Cons: I do not see this likely to work well. Many will forget and miss important messages about our gatherings.
- Decide that you always receive the FIRST message in any new thread. If you want to see subsequent messages with that subject line, you click the "follow this thread" link in the email footer.?
- Pros: You don't have to regularly go to the groups.io site and scan for any new activity and follow that which you wish to see. You opt in in your email inbox.
- Cons: This is not that much better than option 3a, in that a lot of us don't check email regularly enough and i'm not sure what happens if you're late to opt in to important threads about our gatherings, or non-charged discussions; do you get all the messages that happened since the first one, or only those that start coming after you opt in. (I think you could always go to the Groups.io website and see the messages you missed, but again, not sure women are likely to do that.)??
The options under #3 are meant for more traditional email discussion groups where people are on them because they're gathering info, networking, etc. Like a group of coders who know they can go on a list to ask questions or look to see if others have answered a question they have. Or a music lovers group where you only want to see the Taylor Swift related posts and not thousands of others. They help limit the amount of email one gets from a very active list.
I don't see a way we can use the existing list, but have messages with certain subjects come only to people who've opted in to get certain subjects. But I am very busy, so I only did a cursory look through the admin manual. If anyone else wants to dig deep in the Groups.io documentation, feel free.
My perspective on doing any of the above: While I might be willing to follow out of curiosity if some women opt to have email discussions like this, I'm unlikely to post myself or reply. It's too hard to convey tone on email and you can't see the other person's reactions and body language, so you can't soften your tone or frame your message differently or give them space to interrupt, ask you to clarify, etc. You can ask them to clarify in writing in a reply, but the conversation is very disjointed as everyone is on email at different times and frequencies. So hurt feelings can go on far longer as a conversation that might have taken an hour in person drags on for days in email.?
We've been through PPA and years of SSR and done all kinds of sacred work and we get two precious weekends per year to spend more time doing sacred work. We don't have the luxury of all living near each other and getting together more regularly, as a group and in smaller groups or one on ones, where over the natural course of socializing we'd have more of these kinds of discussions.?
And I don't want to spend my two precious weekends getting into things that there is not really time to get into, or if we do, almost the whole weekend will need to be dedicated to it, or at least a big chunk of one of our days.?
I do get into discussions of a lot of contentious things with the women I have spent time talking to on the phone or in person more regularly, and I'm happy to do that.
It's clear that what we have been through together in PPA and in the time after shows that we hold a lot of ideas in values in common, but definitely not all ideas in all areas of life--which I'm fine with. I'd prefer to focus my GROUP time on those shared values, sacred space, ritual, spiritual growth, etc. And leave a lot of topics for one on one or small group conversations that arise naturally (and almost never on email).
? ?
From the extraordinary heart and mind of Jill Nienhiser via jnienhiser@...
Sent with secure email.
On Tuesday, February 4th, 2025 at 8:36 PM, Matooka via groups.io <matooka1957@...> wrote:
toggle quoted message
Show quoted text
Thank you, Paige.Love you.? On Feb 4, 2025, at 6:26?PM, Paige via groups.io <pgly.gardner@...> wrote:
? Hi Women-
I just wanted to circle back and clarify. I stand by sending?my initial email. My second, was only to take care of myself. I am not generally afraid of tough conversations. I just don't have the internal?reserves to engage in complex topics. I'd want to do it in a better, more articulate way than I can right now.?
I also did not mean to be cryptic about how I am doing and, again, see previous?low internal reserves. Some combo pack of depression, anxiety, ADHD, post menopause, burn out, adrenal stuff, plus shifting career and identity,?husband working in VA all week and then the world...all while having to continue to work to finish?out the year. I'm not quite ready to talk about it yet and just so you have some sense. If I knew what to ask for I know I could ask here.
I love you women, Paige Thank you, Paige, for sharing this email from Erica.? My heart goes out to her and to all in the firing lines of the chaos of the new administration.? Where is the due process?? Too much. too fast, too brutal.? It's all so sudden and shocking and cruel. ?
And Paige, I hear you that you're not doing so well.? I'm sending you big big hugs my sister. ???????
?
Thank you, Suzanne.? I always feel safer when there is truth in the room. ?
Thank you for naming the way that we as a group have historically dealt with hard topics and for asking more of us, that we step up to actually talk about the hard things.
?
I've always wanted to up-level our capacity to discuss what's happening for us interpersonally.? It feels to me like the deepest end of the pool; ?can women who are soul sisters speak plainly to one another about their impact on one another and not rupture their/our connection? It feels really really hard and that's why we avoid it.
?
So thank you Suzanne for stepping out and speaking your truth.? I feel your passion and I agree with you whole heartedly. ?
?
Not only are this new administration's actions not normal, they are not legal and their impact is devastating.? Paige and Suzanne shared specific examples of dear ones with personal impact stories.
?
Abigail, your email strikes me as terrifying. ?Maybe we can discuss further in some other context.? For now, please widen the net of whatever you're reading because much of what's happening is in fact "horrendous and harmful." ?I can't imagine you're not seeing that. ?
?
And what might I not be seeing?? If you want to share any links to what you're reading that has you under the impression that some of these actions/choices from the new administration might be good news, (Kash Patel?!?) I'd be glad to receive them.? Please email me at: ?RayRayHam@...
?
Maybe there is a way we can have these sort of conversations on a separate group thread in this same group?? That way, people who do not want to engage in this sort of talk stay away.? Jill, can that be done?
?
Big Love,
RayRay
?
?
|
Hi Women,
I'm here. Reading along. Feeling my feelings. Sitting by the fire with my thoughts, watching the cauldron swirl and bubble.
These are intense times.
I have things that parts of me want to say. I've written draft emails and not clicked send. The words are not ready, yet. They need more time.
I'm grateful that we have another constellation weekend with Emily coming up.
With strong love, Meggie
On Wednesday, February 5, 2025 at 11:14:10 AM EST, Jill via groups.io <jnienhiser@...> wrote:
I looked at the documentation for Groups.io, and I see three possibilities:
- MAKE A SECOND EMAIL LIST: Create a new Groups.io specifically for "charged discussions" or whatever you want to call it. A separate email list for those who want to have these kinds of discussions on email.?
- Pros: Keeps these discussions entirely separate. Women can come and go from this other list as they please, or turn off notices for a while if a give thread on it is really bothering you and you don't want to engage. Given my history of managing our group email, I would say this option is the simplest and best because there is not all that much tech-savvy for email groups here that is needed for the other options. (No offense, them's just the facts as I see them.)
- Cons: Involves setting up another free group and managing it. Not onerous, but has to be done.
- USE KEYWORD IN SUBJECT LINE ON EXISTING EMAIL LIST: Agree that we start putting a safe word (or maybe an "unsafe word", LOL) in the subject line of messages that will contain whatever charged topics we think should have such a warning. (For example: HOT TOPIC: Politics --or preferably, specifically the political topic you are talking about so people can know what they're getting into before reading)
- Pros: Simple, doesn't require a new email list.?
- Cons: People have to remember to use the safe word in the subject line. When we forget, need to apologize and others need to forgive. Also, people who don't want to see unsafe topics have to remember not to read them, and if they accidentally or intentionally read such messages and get upset, not take it out on those having the discussion.
- USE "FOLLOWING" SETTINGS ON EXISTING EMAIL LIST: Each person can go to the groups.io site, login, and in their settings for this group, pick one of two options:
- Decide that you won't receive ANY messages except threads (messages with a given subject line) that you "opt in" to receive. This means regularly visiting the Groups.io website and scanning the group's messages looking for threads you want to follow.?
- Pros: You can completely avoid anything you don't want to read
- Cons: I do not see this likely to work well. Many will forget and miss important messages about our gatherings.
- Decide that you always receive the FIRST message in any new thread. If you want to see subsequent messages with that subject line, you click the "follow this thread" link in the email footer.?
- Pros: You don't have to regularly go to the groups.io site and scan for any new activity and follow that which you wish to see. You opt in in your email inbox.
- Cons: This is not that much better than option 3a, in that a lot of us don't check email regularly enough and i'm not sure what happens if you're late to opt in to important threads about our gatherings, or non-charged discussions; do you get all the messages that happened since the first one, or only those that start coming after you opt in. (I think you could always go to the Groups.io website and see the messages you missed, but again, not sure women are likely to do that.)??
The options under #3 are meant for more traditional email discussion groups where people are on them because they're gathering info, networking, etc. Like a group of coders who know they can go on a list to ask questions or look to see if others have answered a question they have. Or a music lovers group where you only want to see the Taylor Swift related posts and not thousands of others. They help limit the amount of email one gets from a very active list.
I don't see a way we can use the existing list, but have messages with certain subjects come only to people who've opted in to get certain subjects. But I am very busy, so I only did a cursory look through the admin manual. If anyone else wants to dig deep in the Groups.io documentation, feel free.
My perspective on doing any of the above: While I might be willing to follow out of curiosity if some women opt to have email discussions like this, I'm unlikely to post myself or reply. It's too hard to convey tone on email and you can't see the other person's reactions and body language, so you can't soften your tone or frame your message differently or give them space to interrupt, ask you to clarify, etc. You can ask them to clarify in writing in a reply, but the conversation is very disjointed as everyone is on email at different times and frequencies. So hurt feelings can go on far longer as a conversation that might have taken an hour in person drags on for days in email.?
We've been through PPA and years of SSR and done all kinds of sacred work and we get two precious weekends per year to spend more time doing sacred work. We don't have the luxury of all living near each other and getting together more regularly, as a group and in smaller groups or one on ones, where over the natural course of socializing we'd have more of these kinds of discussions.?
And I don't want to spend my two precious weekends getting into things that there is not really time to get into, or if we do, almost the whole weekend will need to be dedicated to it, or at least a big chunk of one of our days.?
I do get into discussions of a lot of contentious things with the women I have spent time talking to on the phone or in person more regularly, and I'm happy to do that.
It's clear that what we have been through together in PPA and in the time after shows that we hold a lot of ideas in values in common, but definitely not all ideas in all areas of life--which I'm fine with. I'd prefer to focus my GROUP time on those shared values, sacred space, ritual, spiritual growth, etc. And leave a lot of topics for one on one or small group conversations that arise naturally (and almost never on email).
? ?
From the extraordinary heart and mind of Jill Nienhiser via jnienhiser@...
Sent with secure email.
On Tuesday, February 4th, 2025 at 8:36 PM, Matooka via groups.io <matooka1957@...> wrote:
toggle quoted message
Show quoted text
Thank you, Paige.Love you.? On Feb 4, 2025, at 6:26?PM, Paige via groups.io <pgly.gardner@...> wrote:
? Hi Women-
I just wanted to circle back and clarify. I stand by sending?my initial email. My second, was only to take care of myself. I am not generally afraid of tough conversations. I just don't have the internal?reserves to engage in complex topics. I'd want to do it in a better, more articulate way than I can right now.?
I also did not mean to be cryptic about how I am doing and, again, see previous?low internal reserves. Some combo pack of depression, anxiety, ADHD, post menopause, burn out, adrenal stuff, plus shifting career and identity,?husband working in VA all week and then the world...all while having to continue to work to finish?out the year. I'm not quite ready to talk about it yet and just so you have some sense. If I knew what to ask for I know I could ask here.
I love you women, Paige Thank you, Paige, for sharing this email from Erica.? My heart goes out to her and to all in the firing lines of the chaos of the new administration.? Where is the due process?? Too much. too fast, too brutal.? It's all so sudden and shocking and cruel. ?
And Paige, I hear you that you're not doing so well.? I'm sending you big big hugs my sister. ???????
?
Thank you, Suzanne.? I always feel safer when there is truth in the room. ?
Thank you for naming the way that we as a group have historically dealt with hard topics and for asking more of us, that we step up to actually talk about the hard things.
?
I've always wanted to up-level our capacity to discuss what's happening for us interpersonally.? It feels to me like the deepest end of the pool; ?can women who are soul sisters speak plainly to one another about their impact on one another and not rupture their/our connection? It feels really really hard and that's why we avoid it.
?
So thank you Suzanne for stepping out and speaking your truth.? I feel your passion and I agree with you whole heartedly. ?
?
Not only are this new administration's actions not normal, they are not legal and their impact is devastating.? Paige and Suzanne shared specific examples of dear ones with personal impact stories.
?
Abigail, your email strikes me as terrifying. ?Maybe we can discuss further in some other context.? For now, please widen the net of whatever you're reading because much of what's happening is in fact "horrendous and harmful." ?I can't imagine you're not seeing that. ?
?
And what might I not be seeing?? If you want to share any links to what you're reading that has you under the impression that some of these actions/choices from the new administration might be good news, (Kash Patel?!?) I'd be glad to receive them.? Please email me at: ?RayRayHam@...
?
Maybe there is a way we can have these sort of conversations on a separate group thread in this same group?? That way, people who do not want to engage in this sort of talk stay away.? Jill, can that be done?
?
Big Love,
RayRay
?
?
|
Hello Sisters, I am here too reading, contemplating where we will go from here. As I mentioned to some of you sisters, the authentic truth is we don't love all parts of each other. How the hell can I love all parts of you, my family and everyone else in the world when I don't love all parts of myself. This is not a negative, it is a place for ?growth and there is no perfection here.?
Here is a story that was just ready to me the other day.
When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.
The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.? One must accept the security of the winged life, of ebb and flow, of intermittency.¡±? ¨D?Anne Morrow Lindbergh,?l
The constellation has begun!?
May we weather this storm!
With LOVE AND TRUST,
Noreen?
toggle quoted message
Show quoted text
Hi Women,
I'm here. Reading along. Feeling my feelings. Sitting by the fire with my thoughts, watching the cauldron swirl and bubble.
These are intense times.
I have things that parts of me want to say. I've written draft emails and not clicked send. The words are not ready, yet. They need more time.
I'm grateful that we have another constellation weekend with Emily coming up.
With strong love, Meggie
On Wednesday, February 5, 2025 at 11:14:10 AM EST, Jill via <jnienhiser= [email protected]> wrote:
I looked at the documentation for Groups.io, and I see three possibilities:
- MAKE A SECOND EMAIL LIST: Create a new Groups.io specifically for "charged discussions" or whatever you want to call it. A separate email list for those who want to have these kinds of discussions on email.?
- Pros: Keeps these discussions entirely separate. Women can come and go from this other list as they please, or turn off notices for a while if a give thread on it is really bothering you and you don't want to engage. Given my history of managing our group email, I would say this option is the simplest and best because there is not all that much tech-savvy for email groups here that is needed for the other options. (No offense, them's just the facts as I see them.)
- Cons: Involves setting up another free group and managing it. Not onerous, but has to be done.
- USE KEYWORD IN SUBJECT LINE ON EXISTING EMAIL LIST: Agree that we start putting a safe word (or maybe an "unsafe word", LOL) in the subject line of messages that will contain whatever charged topics we think should have such a warning. (For example: HOT TOPIC: Politics --or preferably, specifically the political topic you are talking about so people can know what they're getting into before reading)
- Pros: Simple, doesn't require a new email list.?
- Cons: People have to remember to use the safe word in the subject line. When we forget, need to apologize and others need to forgive. Also, people who don't want to see unsafe topics have to remember not to read them, and if they accidentally or intentionally read such messages and get upset, not take it out on those having the discussion.
- USE "FOLLOWING" SETTINGS ON EXISTING EMAIL LIST: Each person can go to the site, login, and in their settings for this group, pick one of two options:
- Decide that you won't receive ANY messages except threads (messages with a given subject line) that you "opt in" to receive. This means regularly visiting the Groups.io website and scanning the group's messages looking for threads you want to follow.?
- Pros: You can completely avoid anything you don't want to read
- Cons: I do not see this likely to work well. Many will forget and miss important messages about our gatherings.
- Decide that you always receive the FIRST message in any new thread. If you want to see subsequent messages with that subject line, you click the "follow this thread" link in the email footer.?
- Pros: You don't have to regularly go to the site and scan for any new activity and follow that which you wish to see. You opt in in your email inbox.
- Cons: This is not that much better than option 3a, in that a lot of us don't check email regularly enough and i'm not sure what happens if you're late to opt in to important threads about our gatherings, or non-charged discussions; do you get all the messages that happened since the first one, or only those that start coming after you opt in. (I think you could always go to the Groups.io website and see the messages you missed, but again, not sure women are likely to do that.)??
The options under #3 are meant for more traditional email discussion groups where people are on them because they're gathering info, networking, etc. Like a group of coders who know they can go on a list to ask questions or look to see if others have answered a question they have. Or a music lovers group where you only want to see the Taylor Swift related posts and not thousands of others. They help limit the amount of email one gets from a very active list.
I don't see a way we can use the existing list, but have messages with certain subjects come only to people who've opted in to get certain subjects. But I am very busy, so I only did a cursory look through the admin manual. If anyone else wants to dig deep in the Groups.io documentation, feel free.
My perspective on doing any of the above: While I might be willing to follow out of curiosity if some women opt to have email discussions like this, I'm unlikely to post myself or reply. It's too hard to convey tone on email and you can't see the other person's reactions and body language, so you can't soften your tone or frame your message differently or give them space to interrupt, ask you to clarify, etc. You can ask them to clarify in writing in a reply, but the conversation is very disjointed as everyone is on email at different times and frequencies. So hurt feelings can go on far longer as a conversation that might have taken an hour in person drags on for days in email.?
We've been through PPA and years of SSR and done all kinds of sacred work and we get two precious weekends per year to spend more time doing sacred work. We don't have the luxury of all living near each other and getting together more regularly, as a group and in smaller groups or one on ones, where over the natural course of socializing we'd have more of these kinds of discussions.?
And I don't want to spend my two precious weekends getting into things that there is not really time to get into, or if we do, almost the whole weekend will need to be dedicated to it, or at least a big chunk of one of our days.?
I do get into discussions of a lot of contentious things with the women I have spent time talking to on the phone or in person more regularly, and I'm happy to do that.
It's clear that what we have been through together in PPA and in the time after shows that we hold a lot of ideas in values in common, but definitely not all ideas in all areas of life--which I'm fine with. I'd prefer to focus my GROUP time on those shared values, sacred space, ritual, spiritual growth, etc. And leave a lot of topics for one on one or small group conversations that arise naturally (and almost never on email).
? ?
From the extraordinary heart and mind of Jill Nienhiser
Sent with secure email.
On Tuesday, February 4th, 2025 at 8:36 PM, Matooka via <matooka1957= [email protected]> wrote:
Thank you, Paige.Love you.? ? Hi Women-
I just wanted to circle back and clarify. I stand by sending?my initial email. My second, was only to take care of myself. I am not generally afraid of tough conversations. I just don't have the internal?reserves to engage in complex topics. I'd want to do it in a better, more articulate way than I can right now.?
I also did not mean to be cryptic about how I am doing and, again, see previous?low internal reserves. Some combo pack of depression, anxiety, ADHD, post menopause, burn out, adrenal stuff, plus shifting career and identity,?husband working in VA all week and then the world...all while having to continue to work to finish?out the year. I'm not quite ready to talk about it yet and just so you have some sense. If I knew what to ask for I know I could ask here.
I love you women, Paige Thank you, Paige, for sharing this email from Erica.? My heart goes out to her and to all in the firing lines of the chaos of the new administration.? Where is the due process?? Too much. too fast, too brutal.? It's all so sudden and shocking and cruel. ?
And Paige, I hear you that you're not doing so well.? I'm sending you big big hugs my sister. ???????
?
Thank you, Suzanne.? I always feel safer when there is truth in the room. ?
Thank you for naming the way that we as a group have historically dealt with hard topics and for asking more of us, that we step up to actually talk about the hard things.
?
I've always wanted to up-level our capacity to discuss what's happening for us interpersonally.? It feels to me like the deepest end of the pool; ?can women who are soul sisters speak plainly to one another about their impact on one another and not rupture their/our connection? It feels really really hard and that's why we avoid it.
?
So thank you Suzanne for stepping out and speaking your truth.? I feel your passion and I agree with you whole heartedly. ?
?
Not only are this new administration's actions not normal, they are not legal and their impact is devastating.? Paige and Suzanne shared specific examples of dear ones with personal impact stories.
?
Abigail, your email strikes me as terrifying. ?Maybe we can discuss further in some other context.? For now, please widen the net of whatever you're reading because much of what's happening is in fact "horrendous and harmful." ?I can't imagine you're not seeing that. ?
?
And what might I not be seeing?? If you want to share any links to what you're reading that has you under the impression that some of these actions/choices from the new administration might be good news, (Kash Patel?!?) I'd be glad to receive them.? Please email me at: ?RayRayHam@...
?
Maybe there is a way we can have these sort of conversations on a separate group thread in this same group?? That way, people who do not want to engage in this sort of talk stay away.? Jill, can that be done?
?
Big Love,
RayRay
?
?
-- Noreen Cerqua
Licensed Massage Therapist - LMT Mayan Abdominal Practitioner
|
Ohhh Noreen.....excellent share thank you xo Matooka
toggle quoted message
Show quoted text
Hello Sisters, I am here too reading, contemplating where we will go from here. As I mentioned to some of you sisters, the authentic truth is we don't love all parts of each other. How the hell can I love all parts of you, my family and everyone else in the world when I don't love all parts of myself. This is not a negative, it is a place for ?growth and there is no perfection here.?
Here is a story that was just ready to me the other day.
When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.
The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.? One must accept the security of the winged life, of ebb and flow, of intermittency.¡±? ¨D?Anne Morrow Lindbergh,?l
The constellation has begun!?
May we weather this storm!
With LOVE AND TRUST,
Noreen?
Hi Women,
I'm here. Reading along. Feeling my feelings. Sitting by the fire with my thoughts, watching the cauldron swirl and bubble.
These are intense times.
I have things that parts of me want to say. I've written draft emails and not clicked send. The words are not ready, yet. They need more time.
I'm grateful that we have another constellation weekend with Emily coming up.
With strong love, Meggie
On Wednesday, February 5, 2025 at 11:14:10 AM EST, Jill via <jnienhiser= [email protected]> wrote:
I looked at the documentation for Groups.io, and I see three possibilities:
- MAKE A SECOND EMAIL LIST: Create a new Groups.io specifically for "charged discussions" or whatever you want to call it. A separate email list for those who want to have these kinds of discussions on email.?
- Pros: Keeps these discussions entirely separate. Women can come and go from this other list as they please, or turn off notices for a while if a give thread on it is really bothering you and you don't want to engage. Given my history of managing our group email, I would say this option is the simplest and best because there is not all that much tech-savvy for email groups here that is needed for the other options. (No offense, them's just the facts as I see them.)
- Cons: Involves setting up another free group and managing it. Not onerous, but has to be done.
- USE KEYWORD IN SUBJECT LINE ON EXISTING EMAIL LIST: Agree that we start putting a safe word (or maybe an "unsafe word", LOL) in the subject line of messages that will contain whatever charged topics we think should have such a warning. (For example: HOT TOPIC: Politics --or preferably, specifically the political topic you are talking about so people can know what they're getting into before reading)
- Pros: Simple, doesn't require a new email list.?
- Cons: People have to remember to use the safe word in the subject line. When we forget, need to apologize and others need to forgive. Also, people who don't want to see unsafe topics have to remember not to read them, and if they accidentally or intentionally read such messages and get upset, not take it out on those having the discussion.
- USE "FOLLOWING" SETTINGS ON EXISTING EMAIL LIST: Each person can go to the site, login, and in their settings for this group, pick one of two options:
- Decide that you won't receive ANY messages except threads (messages with a given subject line) that you "opt in" to receive. This means regularly visiting the Groups.io website and scanning the group's messages looking for threads you want to follow.?
- Pros: You can completely avoid anything you don't want to read
- Cons: I do not see this likely to work well. Many will forget and miss important messages about our gatherings.
- Decide that you always receive the FIRST message in any new thread. If you want to see subsequent messages with that subject line, you click the "follow this thread" link in the email footer.?
- Pros: You don't have to regularly go to the site and scan for any new activity and follow that which you wish to see. You opt in in your email inbox.
- Cons: This is not that much better than option 3a, in that a lot of us don't check email regularly enough and i'm not sure what happens if you're late to opt in to important threads about our gatherings, or non-charged discussions; do you get all the messages that happened since the first one, or only those that start coming after you opt in. (I think you could always go to the Groups.io website and see the messages you missed, but again, not sure women are likely to do that.)??
The options under #3 are meant for more traditional email discussion groups where people are on them because they're gathering info, networking, etc. Like a group of coders who know they can go on a list to ask questions or look to see if others have answered a question they have. Or a music lovers group where you only want to see the Taylor Swift related posts and not thousands of others. They help limit the amount of email one gets from a very active list.
I don't see a way we can use the existing list, but have messages with certain subjects come only to people who've opted in to get certain subjects. But I am very busy, so I only did a cursory look through the admin manual. If anyone else wants to dig deep in the Groups.io documentation, feel free.
My perspective on doing any of the above: While I might be willing to follow out of curiosity if some women opt to have email discussions like this, I'm unlikely to post myself or reply. It's too hard to convey tone on email and you can't see the other person's reactions and body language, so you can't soften your tone or frame your message differently or give them space to interrupt, ask you to clarify, etc. You can ask them to clarify in writing in a reply, but the conversation is very disjointed as everyone is on email at different times and frequencies. So hurt feelings can go on far longer as a conversation that might have taken an hour in person drags on for days in email.?
We've been through PPA and years of SSR and done all kinds of sacred work and we get two precious weekends per year to spend more time doing sacred work. We don't have the luxury of all living near each other and getting together more regularly, as a group and in smaller groups or one on ones, where over the natural course of socializing we'd have more of these kinds of discussions.?
And I don't want to spend my two precious weekends getting into things that there is not really time to get into, or if we do, almost the whole weekend will need to be dedicated to it, or at least a big chunk of one of our days.?
I do get into discussions of a lot of contentious things with the women I have spent time talking to on the phone or in person more regularly, and I'm happy to do that.
It's clear that what we have been through together in PPA and in the time after shows that we hold a lot of ideas in values in common, but definitely not all ideas in all areas of life--which I'm fine with. I'd prefer to focus my GROUP time on those shared values, sacred space, ritual, spiritual growth, etc. And leave a lot of topics for one on one or small group conversations that arise naturally (and almost never on email).
? ?
From the extraordinary heart and mind of Jill Nienhiser
Sent with secure email.
On Tuesday, February 4th, 2025 at 8:36 PM, Matooka via <matooka1957= [email protected]> wrote:
Thank you, Paige.Love you.? ? Hi Women-
I just wanted to circle back and clarify. I stand by sending?my initial email. My second, was only to take care of myself. I am not generally afraid of tough conversations. I just don't have the internal?reserves to engage in complex topics. I'd want to do it in a better, more articulate way than I can right now.?
I also did not mean to be cryptic about how I am doing and, again, see previous?low internal reserves. Some combo pack of depression, anxiety, ADHD, post menopause, burn out, adrenal stuff, plus shifting career and identity,?husband working in VA all week and then the world...all while having to continue to work to finish?out the year. I'm not quite ready to talk about it yet and just so you have some sense. If I knew what to ask for I know I could ask here.
I love you women, Paige Thank you, Paige, for sharing this email from Erica.? My heart goes out to her and to all in the firing lines of the chaos of the new administration.? Where is the due process?? Too much. too fast, too brutal.? It's all so sudden and shocking and cruel. ?
And Paige, I hear you that you're not doing so well.? I'm sending you big big hugs my sister. ???????
?
Thank you, Suzanne.? I always feel safer when there is truth in the room. ?
Thank you for naming the way that we as a group have historically dealt with hard topics and for asking more of us, that we step up to actually talk about the hard things.
?
I've always wanted to up-level our capacity to discuss what's happening for us interpersonally.? It feels to me like the deepest end of the pool; ?can women who are soul sisters speak plainly to one another about their impact on one another and not rupture their/our connection? It feels really really hard and that's why we avoid it.
?
So thank you Suzanne for stepping out and speaking your truth.? I feel your passion and I agree with you whole heartedly. ?
?
Not only are this new administration's actions not normal, they are not legal and their impact is devastating.? Paige and Suzanne shared specific examples of dear ones with personal impact stories.
?
Abigail, your email strikes me as terrifying. ?Maybe we can discuss further in some other context.? For now, please widen the net of whatever you're reading because much of what's happening is in fact "horrendous and harmful." ?I can't imagine you're not seeing that. ?
?
And what might I not be seeing?? If you want to share any links to what you're reading that has you under the impression that some of these actions/choices from the new administration might be good news, (Kash Patel?!?) I'd be glad to receive them.? Please email me at: ?RayRayHam@...
?
Maybe there is a way we can have these sort of conversations on a separate group thread in this same group?? That way, people who do not want to engage in this sort of talk stay away.? Jill, can that be done?
?
Big Love,
RayRay
?
?
--
Noreen Cerqua
Licensed Massage Therapist - LMT Mayan Abdominal Practitioner
|