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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 10 – With Permission
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It is forbidden to speak derogatorily about someone even when the subject has made it known that he does not mind if such things are said of him.
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As mentioned above, to speak negatively of one’s fellow is shameful in itself, regardless of the subject’s feelings.? Speaking loshon hora is contrary to man’s exalted status as the only creature who was fashioned b’tzelem Elokim, in the Divine image – and
this is not altered by the fact that one has been granted permission to speak derogatorily.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Key to Spiritual Success
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“Which man desires life, who loves days of seeing good? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it” (Tehillim 34:13-15). The commentators explain that the term “life” refers to that of
the World to Come, while “days” refers to man’s years on this world which are only “days” by comparison to the eternal life of the next world.
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We are commanded to fulfill 613 mitzvos; regarding all of them Hashem says to us, “See that I have placed before you today life and that which is good ... that you should love Hashem, your God, to go in His ways and to observe His commandments” (Devarim 30:15-16).
Why, then, does David, in the above verse, say that the quality of one’s life in both worlds is primarily dependent on guarding one’s tongue? In the opening passages of this work we have offered one answer to this question. Below, we offer more on the subject:
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In the preface to Sefer Chofetz Chaim, we explained how the bitter sin of loshon hora can involve transgression of numerous positive and negative commandments, to a degree that is not found with any other sin. Thus, shmiras haloshon is a key to fulfillment
of one’s obligations both toward Hashem and toward his fellow Jew.
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When a person is careful not to speak disparagingly of his fellow, or to embarrass him; when he demonstrates caution in avoiding comments that can aggravate dispute; and when he is careful to avoid transgression of other commandments related to evil talk, both
positive and negative, then he will surely avoid more blatant sins. If one accepts upon himself to scrupulously avoid causing harm or shame through the spoken word, surely he will not do so through action!
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Thus, one who zealously refrains from speaking loshon hora will, through such self-discipline, come to fulfill all his obligations toward his fellow.
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 12 – Ambiguous Statements
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A Jew is responsible for exercising caution in speech and not making statements which can be misinterpreted as being derogatory.
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An example of an ambiguous statement that should not be said is: “He’s a well-meaning fellow,” which can mean, “He’s well-meaning but not very intelligent, or, “He’s well-meaning but his actions are wrong.” If one simply means, “He’s well-meaning and sincere,”
then this should be made clear.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Measure for Measure
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The way in which one acts towards others determines the way in which Heaven will act towards him. For example, if one strives to overlook the hurt caused him, and if he acts towards others with kindness and compassion, then he awakens the Attribute of Compassion
in Heaven. Hashem will judge him with mercy and he will be shown kindness from Above. As our Sages state: “Whoever has compassion towards others will be shown compassion from Above” (Shabbos 151b); and “Whoever refrains from exacting his measure [of retribution
from others for the wrong they caused him] will have all his sins forgiven” (Rosh Hashanah 17a). Moreover, in his merit, Divine compassion will manifest itself upon the Jewish nation as a whole.
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However, if it is one’s way to be absolutely unrelenting towards others and to treat them without compassion, then he lends strength to the Attribute of Justice —toward himself specifically, and to the entire Jewish nation as well. Heaven will be unrelenting
regarding that person’s sins, for “With the measure that a person measures do they [i.e. Heaven] measure him” (Megillah 12b).
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Our Sages state: “Jerusalem was destroyed only because its inhabitants limited their decisions to the [letter of the] law of Torah” (Bava Metzia 30b). This seems difficult, for Scripture records many sins of which that generation was guilty. Our discussion
sheds light on the matter. Had the people overlooked the wrong caused them, then Hashem would have forgiven them as well. However, they were absolutely unrelenting toward each other, demanding from one another whatever they could possibly extract according
to the law —and Heaven judged them accordingly. |
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Dedications and Sponsorships
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Dedications and Sponsorships
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Dedications and Sponsorships
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 18 – Definition
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Thus far we have focused on statements which are derogatory in nature.? The second category of loshon hora involves statements that could potentially cause harm to a person, be it physical, emotional or financial.
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The Talmud teaches that gramma b’nizakin assur, it is forbidden to cause a person damage indirectly.? Thus, any form of speech, even if not derogatory, but which may cause harm to someone, constitutes loshon hora and is forbidden.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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A Triple Tragedy
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Midrash Shochar Tov (Tehillim 52:2) states:
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It was taught in the academy of R’ Yishmael: Whoever relates loshon hora commits grave sins which equal the Three [Cardinal] Sins of idolatry, immorality and murder.1 [This can be deduced as follows]: Regarding loshon hora it is written, “May Hashem cut off
all equivocating lips, the tongue which speaks haughty words [gedolos]” (Tehillim 12:4). Regarding idolatry it is written, “I implore! This people have committed a great sin [gadola]” (Shemos 32:31). Regarding immorality it is written, “How can I perpetrate
this great evil [Hagedola]?” (Bereishis 39:9). And regarding murder it is written, “Is my sin too great to be borne [gadol]?” (Bereishis 4:13). [Thus, the plural form is found only with regard to loshon hora.]
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Alternatively: When someone commits murder, he kills a single soul, but one who speaks loshon hora destroys three: the subject of his words, his listener and himself. From where do we see this? From Doeg, who spoke loshon hora concerning Achimelech (I Shmuel
chs. 21-22) and thereby destroyed Shaul, who accepted the report; Achimelech, about whom it was spoken; and himself. Shaul, who accepted it, [died because of it] as it is written: “Shaul died for the faithlessness with which he acted towards Hashem” (I Divrei
HaYamim 10:13); Achimelech [died because of it], for about him it was said [by Shaul], “Die, you shall die, Achimelech (I Shmuel 22:16); and Doeg was banished from the World [to Come], as it is written, “Likewise, God will shatter you for eternity” (Tehillim
52:7). And what caused this? Loshon hora.
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The Midrash cannot mean that speaking loshon hora is a greater sin than any of the Three Cardinal Sins, for they carry the death penalty while speaking loshon hora
does not. The Midrash means that speaking loshon hora can lead to the transgression of many severe sins (Maharsha)
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 19 – Embarrassing Remarks
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One who conveys information to others has no control over who will hear it and in what setting it will be repeated.? Whatever one says concerning another person may very well be repeated in the presence of that person.
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It is therefore forbidden to say anything about a person that might embarrass him if it were to be repeated in his presence, even if the information is not derogatory.
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It is forbidden to relate that an individual is a baal teshuvah if the person is sensitive about this fact.? This is true even in a community where baalei teshuvah are highly respected.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Words of Defeat
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Sifre states:
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With ten trials did our ancestors test [God in the Wilderness], but their judgment was sealed only on account of the sin of loshon hora, as it is written, “They have tested Me these ten times and did not heed My voice” (Bamidbar 14:22),1 and it is written,
“You have made Hashem weary [i.e. unrelenting] with your words” (Malachi 2:17).
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The generation of the wicked King Achav was plagued by idol worship; yet they were victorious in war in merit of their not informing on one another (Yerushalmi Pe’ah 1:1). This is evident from the fact that no one revealed to Achav that Ovadiah, aided by others,
was sustaining one hundred prophets of Hashem against the king’s wishes. However, in the days of the righteous Shaul, when informers such as Doeg and the Ziphites5 were found among the Jews, their armies fell in battle. The fact that there were children in
Shaul’s generation who were knowledgeable in forty-nine facets of Torah was not enough to gain them victory. Such is the power of loshon hora.
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1. God uttered these words after the Spies had spoken their slanderous report of the land. The Talmud (Arachin 15a) enumerates the ten tests.
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Dedications and Sponsorships
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Do you know someone who needs a refuah shleima? A shidduch? Or perhaps a meaningful yahrtzeit is approaching? As a merit
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