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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 37 – Constructive Negatives
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Below we will see that in certain situations one may – and sometimes must – provide people with negative information that is important for them to know, either to avoid being harmed or for some other constructive purpose.
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Whenever faced with such a situation, one must explain why he is saying something that would ordinarily be prohibited, so that the listener understands that the prohibitions regarding loshon hora are not being transgressed.? To say anything that the listener
thinks is loshon hora when, in fact, it is not, constitutes speaking avak loshon hora 1.
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Footnotes and Background
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1.?????? Avak Loshon Hora – Lit. Dust of Loshon Hora, meaning that you are coming close to transgressing the issur (sin) of Loshon Hora, evil speech.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Love Peace and Pursue It
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Sefer Ma’alos HaMiddos concludes its discussion of the quality of peace with the following:
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Our Sages state: Peace is precious, for one who erases a single letter of God’s Holy Name transgresses a Torah prohibition, yet in order that peace be restored between husband and wife, the Torah commands, “The Kohen shall inscribe these curses on a scroll
and erase it into the bitter waters” (Bamidbar 5:23)1. [The Scriptural verses written upon the scroll contain the Name of God.] Said the Holy One, Blessed is He, “Let My Name, which was written in sanctity, be erased upon the water!” (Vayikra Rabbah 9:15).
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Our Sages (ibid.) further state: Peace is precious, for all the good blessings and consolations that the Holy One, Blessed is He, brings upon Israel conclude with peace. The blessings of the evening Shema conclude with, “Who spreads the shelter of peace.” The
Shemoneh Esrei concludes with, “He Who makes peace in His heights, may He make peace on us...” Bircas Kohanim concludes with, “May HASHEM... establish peace with you.”
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Therefore, my son, be zealous regarding this trait. Love peace and pursue it, for there is infinite reward for those who do so.
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1. This verse is from the Torah portion dealing with the laws of the sotah, a married woman who is suspected of immorality and is forbidden to live with her husband until she undergoes the procedure detailed in the Torah.
The sotah’s drinking of the bitter waters in which the scroll’s verses are erased determines whether or not she sinned; if, indeed, she had been guilty of immorality, she would miraculously die a gruesome death upon drinking the water. If she would not die,
her innocence would be proven and she would be permitted to live with her husband once again.
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Keep reading Day 38, the lesson for Shabbos
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 38 – The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
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The primary prohibition against speaking loshon hora is:? Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people (Vayikra 19:16).? However, the
Chofetz Chaim demonstrates that this sin can involve the transgression of numerous positive and negative commandments.? The
baal loshon hora, habitual speaker of loshon hora, can easily accumulate a multitude of transgressions at a rate unparalleled by any other sin.? That is why the Sages say that speaking
loshon hora is worse than even the most severe sins.
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Furthermore, it is virtually impossible for the habitual speaker to ask forgiveness of everyone who was affected by his sinful speech; thus, he will find it difficult if not impossible to achieve full repentance for his sins.
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The Sages caution us to avoid associating with a baal loshon hora, and not to live in the vicinity of such people.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Disciples of Aharon
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The greatness of peace can be seen from the following incident recorded in the Talmud (罢补’补苍颈蝉
22a):
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R’ Beroka of Bei Chozai would frequent the marketplace of Bei Lefet. The prophet Eliyahu often appeared to him. Once, R’ Beroka said to Eliyahu: “Is there anyone in this marketplace who is destined for the World to Come?”
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In the meantime, two other people entered the marketplace. Eliyahu said to R’ Beroka, “These ... are destined for the World to Come.” R’ Beroka approached them and asked, “What do you do?” They replied, “We are comedians and we go to cheer up those who are
depressed.1 Additionally, whenever we see two people involved in a quarrel, we strive hard to make peace between them.”
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“Hillel said: ‘Be among the disciples of Aharon, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving people and bringing them closer to Torah’ ” (Avos
1:12). To be among the disciples of Aharon is to secure for oneself a place in the World to Come.
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With regard to the other source of merit of the two men, one should note the importance of helping others to rid themselves of their anguish and worries. To do so is to fulfill the
mitzvah, “You shall love your fellow as yourself” (Vayikra 19:18). Moreover, this brings immeasurable pleasure to Hashem, as it were.
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We can liken this to a father whose son is experiencing worry and suffering. Surely the father will experience great relief and joy if someone offers his son moral support, and he overcomes his distress. Similarly, the Jewish people are considered Hashem’s
children.2
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1. They devoted their comic talents solely for such situations, and thus acted for the sake of Heaven.
2. Devarim 14:1; see Bava Basra 10a.
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 36 – Obvious Implications
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There is a form of avak loshon hora that can result from one’s keeping the laws of forbidden speech.? If one says that he is reluctant to discuss a particular individual so as to avoid speaking loshon hora, he is, in effect, communicating
that he knows something negative about that person.
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“I’d rather not discuss So-and-so,” is avak loshon hora.
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When faced with such a situation, a person must either attempt to divert the conversation to another topic or indicate that he does not know any pertinent information about the person under discussion.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Spiritual Blessings
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Sefer Ma’alos HaMiddos continues:
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When Hashem rewards the wicked in this world for whatever good they have done [reserving their punishment for the World to Come], He grants them wealth, property, longevity, honor, and other benefits — but He does not grant them tranquility, as it is written,
“ ‘There is no peace,’ says my God, ‘for the wicked’ ” (Yeshayahu 57:21). Conversely, peace is a reward reserved for the righteous, as it is written, “And the deed of righteousness will be [rewarded with] peace” (ibid. 32:17).
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It is through [one’s ways of] peace and brotherhood that others are inspired to repent and draw near to the One Above, as it is written, “I create fruit of the lips: ‘Peace, peace, for far and near,’ says HASHEM, ‘and I shall heal him’ ” (ibid. 57:19).
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Peace is precious, for regarding all but one of the journeys and encampments in the Wilderness, the Torah writes “they journeyed” and “they encamped” in the plural form, symbolizing the strife that plagued them. It is when the Jews arrived at Sinai that the
Torah states: And Israel camped there opposite the mountain (Shemos 19:2), with the verb “and he camped” in the singular.? “Said the Holy One, Blessed is He: ‘The moment when they shall receive the Torah has arrived’ ” (Vayikra Rabbah 9:9), for as long as
peace dwelled amongst them, the Divine Presence dwelled amongst them. Thus it is written, “He [God] became King over Jeshurun when the numbers of the nation were gathered — the tribes of Israel in unity” (Devarim 33:5). When is God Israel’s King in the fullest
sense, and when does His Presence dwell among them? — when they are united.
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Precious is peace, for it is through peace that the world endures, as the Sages state (Avos 1:18): “The world endures on three things — justice, truth and peace, as it is said, ‘Truth and the verdict of peace are you to adjudicate in your gates’ ” (Zechariah
8:16). |
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Dedicated in memory of Avraham Schiff z"l
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 39 – Like Any Other Prohibition
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As with any Torah prohibition, one cannot justify speaking loshon hora on the basis of personal need or practicality.? A Jew must be prepared to forego his comfort, social status, and even livelihood rather than transgress Torah
Law.? Needless to say, it is forbidden to speak loshon hora to gain popularity or win friendship.
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One must not succumb to social pressure and engage in gossip, in the same way that one would not compromise his kashrus standards due to social pressure.
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It is forbidden to comply with an employer’s demand that one reveal information which is loshon hora — even if such failure means the loss of one’s job.
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Similarly, the commandment to honor one’s father and mother does not justify speaking loshon hora.? One must respectfully refuse a parent’s request that derogatory or harmful information be related.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Metzora’s Isolation
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“He who slanders his neighbor in secret — him will I cut down” (Psalms 101:5). The Talmud (Arachin 15b) interprets the latter half of the verse as a reference to the terrible affliction of tzaraas.
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The Talmudic sage Reish Lakish sees the term “Metzora” (one who is afflicted with tzaraas)? as a contraction of “one who spreads slander.”? “Whoever speaks loshon hora will have afflictions [of tzaraas] visited upon him.” (ibid)
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This indicates the extreme severity of this sin, for the Torah is unusually stringent with regard to the laws of tumah (ritual impurity) as pertaining to the metzora. In the Wilderness, three distinct boundaries existed within the Jews’ encampment, each representing
a different level of sanctity. From among the various types of ritually impure, only the metzora was forbidden from entering all three camps. As the Torah states: “He shall dwell in isolation; his dwelling shall be outside the camp” (Vayikra 13:46).
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“Why was the metzora singled out to live in isolation? Because [through his evil speech] he caused a husband to separate from his wife, and friends to become distant from one another” (Arachin 16b).
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“R’ Yehoshua ben Levi said: Why was the metzora singled out to bring two pigeons for his purification? Said the Holy One, Blessed is He: ‘His sin was one of [sinful] chatter, therefore, let him bring an offering of chirping birds’ ” (ibid.).
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 40 – Fighting Fire with Fire
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We have seen that one must be prepared to make sacrifices so that the laws of forbidden speech not be violated.
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In the world of business, when one’s product is maligned by competitors, the natural and predictable reaction is to respond in kind.? Such is not the way of the Torah.? There is no basis for the notion that one who has been the object of loshon hora can respond
with a counter-offensive of defamation.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Humbled and Contrite
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The Torah teaches that the punishment of tzaraas can take on a number of forms, and each is intended as a Divine calling to the afflicted individual. In the words of Rambam (Hilchos Tumas Tzaraas 16:10):
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The term tzaraas encompasses a number of phenomena which are totally distinct from one another. It refers to the whitening of human skin; the falling out of human hair from the head or beard; a change of color of a garment; and a change of color of the wall
of a house.1
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These [phenomena] . . . did not fall within the laws of nature. Rather, each was a sign and wonder among the people of Israel to caution them with regard to loshon hora.
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If a person would speak loshon hora, then the walls of his house would change color [and the house would be pronounced tamei (impure) by the Kohen]; if he repented, the walls would revert back to their original state [and would be purified]. If he persisted
in his wickedness until his house would have to be destroyed, then the hides upon which he would sit or lie would change color [and be declared tamei]; if he repented, then the hides would undergo ritual purification. If he persisted in his wickedness until
the hides would have to be burned, then the clothing he wore would change color; if he repented, then the clothing would undergo purification. If he persisted in his wickedness until they would have to be burned, then his skin color would change and he would
be declared a metzora. He would have to remain apart [from his fellow Jews] and his condition would become known to all, so that he would no longer take part in the conversations of the wicked, which are filled with frivolity and loshon hora.
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The Torah states: “And the person with tzaraas … his garments shall be torn, the hair of his head shall be unshorn, and he shall cloak himself up to his lips; 1 he is to call out: ‘Contaminated, contaminated!’ ” (Vayikra 13:45).
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The purpose of this proclamation was to warn people to stay away from him lest his tumah contaminate them, and to inform others of his anguish so that they would pray for him. The metzora’s isolation and disgrace would humble him and inspire him to regret his
sin. He would resolve that from then on he would refrain from committing this bitter sin, and he would beg forgiveness of those of whom he had spoken disparagingly in the past.
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1. The laws of the various forms of tzaraas are detailed in the Torah portions of Tazria and Metzora (Vayikra chs. 13-14).
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM????????????????????????????????
Day 41 – Toeles — Constructive Purpose
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Based on the rule that one must endure social and financial loss rather than speak loshon hora, it would seem that there should be no halachic justification to speak loshon hora for a constructive purpose (l’toeles). Why then does the halachah permit constructive
statements to be made?
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We have noted that all forms of loshon hora fall under one of two categories:
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1) Derogatory statements;
2) Statements which have the potential to cause the subject harm.
Derogatory speech was explained as being lowly in that the speaker focuses on the negative aspects of someone’s character or behavior.
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There are times when discussing someone’s shortcomings is clearly constructive, and the responsible thing to do.? This is true either: when one is attempting to assist the person he is speaking about, or when he is trying to protect others from that person.?
In such cases, though negative traits or actions are being mentioned, the statements made do not constitute loshon hora.? Destructive speech is loshon hora; constructive speech is not.? Similarly, there is no such thing as “constructive rechilus” (gossip);
a statement can be classified as rechilus only if it is destructive.
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Nevertheless, the Chofetz Chaim refers to derogatory statements made for a constructive purpose as “loshon hora l’toeles” seemingly for lack of a better term.? We, too, have made use of the term “loshon hora (or rechilus) for a constructive purpose” at various
points in this work.
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A great deal of sensitivity, objectivity, and knowledge of halachah is required in order to distinguish between genuine constructive speech and what amounts to nothing more than rationalized loshon hora.? The Chofetz Chaim lists several conditions necessary
for a statement to be deemed one of toeles, constructive purpose, as opposed to loshon hora.
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The conditions for a statement to qualify as constructive—soon to be discussed here—must be studied carefully before taking the liberty of making a statement that would otherwise be considered loshon hora.? It would also be wise to discuss the matter with a
competent rav, as an incorrect decision could result in irreparable harm.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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To Inspire Repentance
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God would take note of the metzora’s repentance and would heal him of his affliction. The Kohen would go outside the Israelite Camp to examine the metzora. Having been declared healed by the Kohen, the metzora would begin the purification process, which included
the offering of Temple sacrifices, as detailed in the Torah.
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Having benefited from God’s infinite kindness in being cured of his affliction and restored to a state of taharah (ritual purity), the person would, upon returning home, surely uphold his earlier resolutions. He would beg forgiveness of those he wronged and
strive with all his strength to avoid speaking loshon hora in the future. Thus, he would be completely cleansed of his sin.
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One may wonder why in our day the affliction of tzaraas is not manifest upon those who habitually speak loshon hora. The Chidah offers the following explanation:
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When God visits punishment upon an individual, He does it for the person’s benefit, to purify him of his sins and to stir him towards repentance. Now, it was only during the Temple era that a metzora could attain taharah (purification). Today, however, when
due to our sins there is no Temple, no sacrifice, and no way for the Kohen to perform the other components of the purification process, if God were to afflict a person with tzaraas, he would remain in his impure state for the rest of his life, without any
possibility of ridding himself of it. Therefore, in the absence of the Temple, the impurity of this affliction clings only to the soul, but is not manifest on the person’s body.
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