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Day 164 – Avoid the Gossipmonger
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here are, unfortunately, people who forever gossip, perhaps as a result of their inactivity and their need for social involvement. Unless one honestly feels that he can help such a person to mend his ways, he should avoid his company entirely. If contact with such a person unavoidable, it should be minimized to whatever degree possible.T

One must also avoid settings that are prone to discussions of gossip. Ideally, one should find a way to permanently change the nature of conversation at such settings so that those present will be spared the evils of rechilus.

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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON

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Market Day

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A merchant who conducts all his business at the regional market has plenty of time off during the long intervals when the market is closed. But can he vacation while the market is open? Certainly not — that is, if he intends to earn a decent livelihood so that he can provide for his family.

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In the spiritual realm, this world is the “market” and every day is “market day.’’ It is in this world that one must acquire the merits which will earn him the light of the World to Come. If one approaches Torah and mitzvos with laziness and allows his days to pass by with little accomplishment, what will he bring with him when his days on this world are over?

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King Shlomo exhorts us: “Whatever you are able to do with your might, do it. For there is neither doing nor reckoning nor knowledge nor wisdom in the grave where you are going” (Koheles 9:10). A Jew must serve Hashem with the full strength of his spirit, and accomplish whatever is within his power, for the next world is the place of reward where the opportunity for accomplishment is no more. As the Sages comment to the verse, “You shall observe the commandments... that I command you today, to perform them” (Devarim 7:11): today — in this life — is the time to perform the commandments, while their primary reward is reserved for tomorrow — that is, for the World to Come (Avodah Zara 4b).

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How much there is to accomplish! One is not seeking to provide for himself for a few months’ time or even for a few years, but for eternity! Of course, guiding one’s children along the path of Torah is part of providing for oneself in the next world, and this too should be approached with great dedication and care. One who does not have the opportunity to raise children of his own in the way of Torah should strive to help educate other Jewish children. Whatever the nature of one’s mission on this earth, let him go about fulfilling it in the best possible way.
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[Hillel said:] “And if not now, when?’’

Continue reading Day 65, the lesson for Shabbos

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Day 165 – Constructive Listening

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Just as it is not lowly to speak (what would otherwise be considered) rechilus for a constructive purpose, so too it is not wrong to listen to rechilus if the listener honestly believes that it is important for him to be aware of the information. This includes any discussion that could help the listener protect himself from others who plan to harm him, or to protect others from damage about to be inflicted upon them. It is also permissible to listen to information that could be of help in rectifying damage already done to oneself or others.

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In these cases, the discussion is not labeled as “gossip”; rather it is constructive speech.

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The Lazy Traveler

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King David pleaded, “I am a sojourner in the world; hide not Your commandments from me” (Tehillim 119:19). Man is but a sojourner on this earth; the World to Come is his eternal home. Realizing that his days of Torah study were numbered, David begged Hashem to reveal to him the wisdom inherent in His commandments.

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Iyov declared, “There is a fixed service-term for man upon earth” (Iyov 7:1). A person’s life-span on this earth is allotted to him with exacting precision. Therefore, one cannot tell himself that he will compensate for having wasted one day by making constructive use of the next day. Each day is a gift for itself; if squandered, it is lost forever.

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This can be illustrated with a parable: A man who had been unable to earn a livelihood sailed to a faraway land in the hope of finding some way to provide for his family. He remained there for some twenty years, accomplishing nothing in all that time. Lazy by nature, he spent his days strolling here and there, surviving on an occasional handout.

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One day, he was surprised to meet a neighbor from his hometown. “I can’t believe that you’ve spent all these years doing nothing!’’ the neighbor exclaimed. “Didn’t you come here to find a proper livelihood for yourself?’’

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“Oh, I’m quite aware of that,’’ the man responded, “but I still have plenty of time for that — I’ve only been here twenty years!’’

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“Have you lost your mind?’’ the neighbor retorted. “Even if you would be a permanent resident of this land, it would be ridiculous for you to have wasted so many years of your life. The facts being what they are make your story most incredible. For you came to this land temporarily, for the express purpose of providing for your family. How, then, could you have spent so many years accomplishing nothing?!’’
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Some people spend their younger years accomplishing little spiritually, content to enjoy what they perceive as the “good life’’ in this world. They know that life here is not forever, that it is the next world where the soul lives on eternally. However, they convince themselves that there will be time in their old age to concern themselves with matters of the spirit. And so, ten, twenty or more years swiftly pass, as the cycle of work and relaxation repeats itself again and again, with little earned for the long road that all men eventually travel. Those with such an attitude are like the man in our parable who failed to recognize the real purpose of his journey.

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Let us make the most of our years, days and hours. The potential for accomplishment is without limit.
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Day 167– Soliciting Information
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Not only may one listen to rechilus that is important for him to hear, he may even approach someone and request information that would otherwise be considered rechilus. Obviously, the solicitor must make it clear that his solicitation is sanctioned by halachah.
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One must also be careful to request only pertinent information and nothing more. Should the person from whom the information was requested begin relating unnecessary gossip, he should be stopped immediately.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Day after Day
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Torah is also likened to bread, as it is written, “Come partake of my bread” (Mishlei 9:5). Now, if man does not eat bread for a day or two, he becomes weakened; if he goes a week without bread (or a comparable substitute), he becomes extremely weak and it is difficult for him to regain the strength that he has lost. This is exactly the way of Torah study, which is sustenance for the soul. If a Jew lets a few days go by without study, his soul becomes weakened; if he lets an entire week slip by, his soul grows extremely weak.
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One must be extremely zealous not to allow even a day to pass without Torah study. Such interruptions have a negative impact on the Torah study that will follow, as the Sages state, “If you forsake me [the Torah] for one day, I will forsake you for two” (Yerushalmi Berachos 9:5).
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If extenuating circumstances cause a cancellation of one’s daily study session, the student should consider this as “borrowed time” that must be repaid. He should strive to repay his debt quickly, in the way of the Talmudic sage who “borrowed by day and paid back that night” (Eruvin 65a).
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As mentioned above, one must ensure that his study sessions not be marked by interruptions. Diligent uninterrupted study causes a spirit of sanctity to become manifest upon the student; such is not the case with study marked by disruption.

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Day 169 – Believing Rechilus
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The prohibition which forbids acceptance of loshon hora or rechilus, which we have translated “Do not accept a false report,” uses the term “shav,” which literally means vain or meaningless. Clearly, the inference is that negative speech is not often to be given credence.
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It is often difficult, if not impossible, for a speaker to convey every detail and all background information that is crucial for an accurate understanding of a given occurrence. Certainly, if the speaker is violating halachah by relating rechilus, one dare not assume that he is being careful to speak only the truth. Therefore, as in the case of loshon hora, belief of secondhand information in a way that could cause ill feelings among people is unjustified and prohibited.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Lying in Disgrace
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The obligation to bury a meis mitzvah, unattended corpse, rests upon all Jews without exception. The Talmud (Berachos 19b) states that even a Kohen Gadol (High Priest), a nazir,1 or someone who is on his way to the Temple to bring a Pesach offering must attend to a meis mitzvah.
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Sefer Chareidim (105:261) writes that a mitzvah which the current generation is neglecting is akin to a meis mitzvah. When no one pursues a given mitzvah — pursue it! Otherwise, that mitzvah ascends before the Heavenly Throne and complains, “How lowly I am, for I am all but forgotten from among the people.’’
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What is an actual meis mitzvah? A lifeless corpse. The Torah is stringent regarding its burial, not because of what it is now, but because of what it once was — an abode for a Jewish soul. It is thus that the Torah requires that a Kohen Gadol — who is not permitted to attend to the corpse of even his own father or mother — attend to a meis mitzvah, so that it not lie in disgrace. Surely, then, if a mitzvah of the Torah — which is more precious than gems (Mishlei 3:13) and is the “daily delight” of the One Above (ibid. 8:30) — is lying in disgrace, it is our obligation to strengthen ourselves in its observance, so that it not be cause for indictment of our generation before Hashem.
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To our misfortune, the concept of loshon hora is woefully ignored by many in our generation, thus making it a “meis mitzvah” of our day. How great then is the reward of those who rescue this mitzvah from disgrace by faithfully adhering to the laws of shmiras haloshon.
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1. The voluntary vow which makes a person a nazir (lit., one who is separated) requires him to abstain from eating grapes or their derivatives; from cutting his hair; and from coming in contact with a human corpse (see Bamidbar ch. 6).

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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 170 – Believing Constructive Information???????????
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Unlike listening to rechilus, which is justified when the information is pertinent, believing rechilus is not permissible regardless of one’s purpose. Even if one must inquire about a person with whom he is considering entering into a relationship, he may not believe as fact any negative information that has been told about the person. Never may one develop feelings of hatred towards a person on the basis of information heard about him – even though the information was obtained in a permissible manner.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Most Neglected
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Above, we referred to shmiras haloshon as a meis mitzvah, a mitzvah which is woefully ignored by many who do not reckon it as a mitzvah at all. Though this needs no proof, we will nevertheless demonstrate that it is true.
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There are people who find nothing wrong with saying the most derogatory remarks about others, for no good reason. When asked, “Why do you speak loshon hora?’’ they respond with dozens of reasons as to why their words are not loshon hora at all! If the questioner then responds with irrefutable proof that, indeed, the statements voiced do constitute loshon hora, they respond, “Well, it’s not loshon hora when said about So-and-so — it’s a mitzvah to speak ill of him!’’ The more one tries to convince them that they err, the more they heap calumny upon the subject of their ill-spoken words.
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Does this happen with other sins? Does an otherwise observant Jew who has been caught eating something forbidden respond to his reprover by grabbing another piece of the food and stuffing it into his own mouth? Certainly not. Why, then, does this occur with the sin of loshon hora which, as we have shown in previous chapters, is among the worst sins in the Torah? The answer is that this very serious matter has become hefker, disregarded, and trampled upon by many. We speak not only of habitual gossipers. There are many people who are not given to gossip, yet do not consider loshon hora as serious as most other sins. Therefore, they turn a deaf ear when told to refrain from speaking the forbidden.
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There is no greater meis mitzvah in our time.

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