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SHMIRAT HALOSHON


 

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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 151– Accuracy vs. Justification

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Obviously, the requirement that one be certain of the accuracy of his information applies to all situations where loshon hora or rechilus is to be spoken for a constructive purpose. There is, however, an aspect of this requirement that does not apply in all cases.
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We have seen (Days 52-54) that the Torah requires us to judge our fellow Jew favorably and refrain from concluding that he has sinned when an alternative way of explaining his behavior can be found. As noted, even when it is clear that the person has sinned, one must consider the possibility that this may have been the result of ignorance or unusual circumstances.
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While the Torah does insist that we give people the benefit of the doubt, this should not be done at the expense of others. Consequently, if one has witnessed one person harming or attempting to harm another, the need for accuracy does not require an attempt at justifying the perpetrator’s motives. Even if the act is out of character it must be rectified, and one may, therefore, inform the appropriate parties.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Two Failures

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I passed by the field of a lazy man, and by the vineyard of a man devoid of understanding, and lo! It had become overgrown with thorns, briars had covered it over, and its stone fence had been destroyed. I perceived this and considered it well, I looked upon it and took from it a lesson (Mishlei 24:32-33).
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These verses describe two individuals who took divergent paths, both ending in failure. I passed by the field of a lazy man — a man whose laziness caused him to neglect the study of Torah, or to forget what he had already learned. The owner of the vineyard was a man devoid of understanding — a foolish man who did not take care to hold on to those mitzvos which he had accomplished through much time and effort. The first man, instead of planting seeds of spiritual attainment, allowed his field to become overgrown with thorns, the thorns of idle chatter and fruitless endeavors. As for the second man, the sacred words of Torah study and prayer which he had uttered with fervor and devotion, which could have ascended Heavenward as a song of praise to the One Above, had become unrecognizable — briars had covered it over — the briars of spiritual impurity wrought by evil speech.

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Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation · 361 Spook Rock Rd · Suffern, NY 10901-5314 · USA


 

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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 152 – When Rebuke is not Required
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We have seen that at times reproof may be counterproductive and is therefore out of place (See Days 45, 72, 143). There are several other factors which must be considered when determining whether or not it is necessary to approach an individual privately before speaking against him.
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In a case where an individual has regularly violated a given commandment, and means are being sought to encourage his repentance and to prevent others from following in his ways, the need for reproof as a first step is obvious. There is no justification for publicizing a person’s negative behavior if a meaningful discussion with him could convince him to change his ways. Even if it is obvious that the person will not respond to rebuke, failure to approach him directly before speaking about him could be misconstrued by others as insincere chanufah, flattery – an approach where the speaker deliberately exhibits tolerance in the perpetrator’s presence to gain his favor, while speaking negatively of him behind his back (See Day 58).
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If, however, the person being discussed has harmed someone, and the purpose of publicizing his actions is to correct the situation, one need not fear suspicions of insincerity. In such a case, rebuke would not be a prerequisite unless there is reason to believe it will achieve results.
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In the case of a prospective business or marriage partnership, where certain aspects of the subject’s history cast doubt on the correctness of the proposed relationship, rebuke would not affect matters and is therefore unnecessary. Even if the person would pledge to mend his ways, the other party would have to be warned of the possibility that he may return to his previous mode of behavior. However, one should attempt to encourage the person to inform the other party of his past, thus lessening the need for involvement of a third party.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Torah Study vs. Loshon Hora
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The Talmud states (Arachin 15b): “R’ Chama bar Chanina said: If one has spoken loshon hora, how can he rectify his sin? If he is a Torah scholar, he should toil in Torah study, as it is written, ‘A healing for the tongue is a tree of life’ (Mishlei 15:4). Torah is the ‘tree of life,’ as it is written (ibid. 3:18), ‘It is a tree of life to all who grasp it.’ ”
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“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (ibid. 18:21). Evil speech can deny one the eternal bliss of the Next World. One who seeks to heal his tongue of this terrible malady should partake of the tree of life that is Torah. At the same time, he must be on guard to avoid repeating past sins.
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This can be likened to a person who is being treated for food poisoning. It is not enough to take the necessary medicines; one must also be careful to avoid eating more contaminated food.
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The Talmud further states that immersion in Torah study is itself a preventive measure against speaking loshon hora. As Scripture states, “For man was born to toil” (Iyov 5:7). The Talmud (Sanhedrin 99b) understands “toil” as a reference to speech, specifically the speech of Torah study. The Talmud is teaching us that man’s tongue differs from his other limbs in a very important way. Use of man’s other limbs requires energy. If man is lazy, his limbs will not be put to maximum use. Such is not the case with the tongue. Man need not overcome any innate laziness to engage in conversation. To the contrary, he is naturally bent toward speech and it is to refrain from speech which requires effort. Thus do the Sages state that “man was born to toil” refers to the toil of speech.
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It is for the toil of Torah study that man was born. However, man has free choice to decide what the nature of his speech will be. If he will not use his natural inclination toward speech for the study of Torah, then inevitably he will speak other matters and will transgress the laws of forbidden speech.

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Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation · 361 Spook Rock Rd · Suffern, NY 10901-5314 · USA


 

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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 153 – Exaggerations
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The rule that slander cannot be justified, even for a constructive purpose, would seem to be without exception. The Chofetz Chaim, however, speculates that if one cannot bring about a given constructive result without exaggerating, then it may be acceptable. The case he cites is where one is attempting to dissolve a friendship between two children, one of whom is a bad influence upon the other. If the victim will not be influenced to end the relationship unless the evils of his friend are exaggerated, this may be permissible.
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The guidelines for such an exemption are very sensitive and one cannot rely upon it without prior consultation with a competent halachic authority.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Sanctity upon Sanctity
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“Do not contaminate yourselves through them lest you become contaminated through them. For I am Hashem your God — you are to sanctify yourselves and you shall become holy, for I am holy” (Vayikra 11:43-44).
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In commenting on the above, the Sages state:
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“If a person contaminates himself a little, they contaminate him a great deal; [if he contaminates himself] below, they contaminate him Above; [if he contaminates himself] in this world, they contaminate him in the World to Come. [Conversely,] if a person sanctifies himself a little, they sanctify him a great deal; [if he sanctifies himself] below, they sanctify him Above; [if he sanctifies himself] in this world, they sanctify him in the World to Come” (Yoma 39a).
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Zohar states that when a person utters forbidden speech a ruach hatumah, spirit of impurity, is manifest upon his words. Spiritual forces of destruction then take this spirit of impurity and use it to contaminate words of Torah and prayer that this person has uttered. Thus, if a person contaminates himself a little, they contaminate him a great deal.
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Conversely, Hashem, Whose loving-kindness is boundless, seeks to uplift us with an abundant flow of kedushah, sanctity. He calls to each and every Jew, as it were, “Open for me an aperture like the eye of a needle and I will open for you an opening like that of a hallway” (Shir HaShirim Rabbah 5:3). When a Jew overcomes his evil inclination and fulfills the Divine will, a spirit of sanctity is drawn upon his soul. If a person sanctifies himself a little, they sanctify him a great deal.
Keep reading Day 154, the lesson for Shabbos

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 154 – Violating Confidentiality
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As stated above, disclosure of an item told in confidence is prohibited as avak rechilus (see Day 136). An extremely sensitive area not discussed in the Sefer Chofetz Chaim is that of disclosing confidential information for a constructive purpose.
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It is obvious however, that if halachah requires a person to disclose a matter to a particular individual and he discloses it to a different person instead, while insisting that it remain confidential, his wishes should not be respected. If, for example, a person involved in a shidduch (marriage match) confides in a friend that he suffers from a chronic serious ailment, it is the responsibility of the friend to ensure that the other party is informed. One cannot demand confidentiality when the Torah requires him to disclose such information.
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A second situation where it is clear that one must reveal a secret that has been shared with him is where one has been told by a person of his secret plan to harm someone. One cannot demand confidentiality in order to harm others.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Lesson of the Serpent
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The first slander ever spoken was uttered by the Serpent who, through cunning and deceit, prevailed upon Adam and Eve to partake of the Tree of Knowledge. “The serpent said to the woman, ‘You will surely not die [by partaking of it]; for God knows that on the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and bad’” (Bereishis 3:4-5).
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R’ Yehoshua of Siknin said in R’ Levi’s name: “The serpent began speaking slander of his Creator, saying, ‘He [God] ate of this tree and created this world. He therefore ordered you not to eat thereof so you will not create other worlds, for every craftsman hates his competitors’ ” (Bereishis Rabbah 19:4).
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The result of this slander was the decree of death upon mankind. As for the serpent, it was punished measure for measure. “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring. He will pound your head, and you will bite his heel” (Bereishis 3:15). The serpent caused death; therefore man seeks to kill him. The serpent claimed that God felt threatened by man and had enmity for him, therefore man hates the venomous serpent who seeks to do him harm.
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And so it is with the gossipmonger. As people become aware of his wicked nature, they come to loathe him and keep their distance from him, lest he find cause to speak evil of them.








Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation · 361 Spook Rock Rd · Suffern, NY 10901-5314 · USA


 

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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 155 – Lawyers and Therapists??
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The commandment, Do not stand aside while your fellow’s blood is being shed (Vayikra 19:16), presents a major dilemma for the professional whose effectiveness, reputation and livelihood rest on the confidence placed in him by his clientele. Often, a client will reveal to his lawyer or therapist information that is being withheld from someone unjustly.
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Whenever possible, a therapist must convince his client that he has a moral obligation to divulge such information to the proper party. Where appropriate, the client should be made to understand that despite the consequences, he will experience a sense of relief after having revealed the information. Moreover, by being honest and open in his personal life, one is able to develop a more positive self-image.
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Should the client persist in his refusal to divulge such information to the proper party, the lawyer or therapist may be faced with the painful choice of either allowing a destructive relationship to materialize, or possibly jeopardizing his livelihood and reputation. Consultation with a competent halachic authority is a must in such situations. This would also apply to a physician who is aware that his chronically ill patient is seeking to marry. When bringing such matters before a halachic authority, one should not mention the names of the parties involved unless absolutely necessary.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Blessing and the Curse

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The serpent was cursed, “... upon your belly you shall go, and dust shall you eat all the days of your life” (Bereishis 3:14). Similarly, the gossipmonger is punished with poverty, as stated in Sefer HaKaneh.
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I am truly amazed by the fact that people who regularly speak evil of others nevertheless do not hesitate to request blessings and segulos (auspicious omens) from tzaddikim for success in earning a livelihood. Do they expect a blessing to outweigh the strength of their sinful ways? The Torah states, “Accursed is one who strikes his fellow stealthily” (Devarim 27:24), which the Sages interpret as a curse upon one who speaks loshon hora. This curse was uttered in the presence of the entire Jewish people, who collectively answered “Amen” to its pronouncement. Can the blessing of even a tzaddik outweigh the power of this curse?
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Would such a person seek my advice for material blessing, I would tell him to be exceedingly careful to avoid the sin of loshon hora. In this way, he will merit the blessing, “Blessed is one who does not strike his fellow stealthily” (see Sotah 32b). Additionally, he should avoid any form of robbery, usury, or any other act that might result in another’s monetary loss. Such zealousness will surely bring blessing to one’s endeavors.








Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation · 361 Spook Rock Rd · Suffern, NY 10901-5314 · USA