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Shmirat Haloshon

 

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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 165 – Constructive Listening
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Just as it is not lowly to speak (what would otherwise be considered) rechilus for a constructive purpose, so too it is not wrong to listen to rechilus if the listener honestly believes that it is important for him to be aware of the information. This includes any discussion that could help the listener protect himself from others who plan to harm him, or to protect others from damage about to be inflicted upon them. It is also permissible to listen to information that could be of help in rectifying damage already done to oneself or others.
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In these cases, the discussion is not labeled as “gossip”; rather it is constructive speech.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Lazy Traveler
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King David pleaded, “I am a sojourner in the world; hide not Your commandments from me” (Tehillim 119:19). Man is but a sojourner on this earth; the World to Come is his eternal home. Realizing that his days of Torah study were numbered, David begged Hashem to reveal to him the wisdom inherent in His commandments.
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Iyov declared, “There is a fixed service-term for man upon earth” (Iyov 7:1). A person’s life-span on this earth is allotted to him with exacting precision. Therefore, one cannot tell himself that he will compensate for having wasted one day by making constructive use of the next day. Each day is a gift for itself; if squandered, it is lost forever.
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This can be illustrated with a parable: A man who had been unable to earn a livelihood sailed to a faraway land in the hope of finding some way to provide for his family. He remained there for some twenty years, accomplishing nothing in all that time. Lazy by nature, he spent his days strolling here and there, surviving on an occasional handout.
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One day, he was surprised to meet a neighbor from his hometown. “I can’t believe that you’ve spent all these years doing nothing!’’ the neighbor exclaimed. “Didn’t you come here to find a proper livelihood for yourself?’’
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“Oh, I’m quite aware of that,’’ the man responded, “but I still have plenty of time for that — I’ve only been here twenty years!’’
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“Have you lost your mind?’’ the neighbor retorted. “Even if you would be a permanent resident of this land, it would be ridiculous for you to have wasted so many years of your life. The facts being what they are make your story most incredible. For you came to this land temporarily, for the express purpose of providing for your family. How, then, could you have spent so many years accomplishing nothing?!’’
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Some people spend their younger years accomplishing little spiritually, content to enjoy what they perceive as the “good life’’ in this world. They know that life here is not forever, that it is the next world where the soul lives on eternally. However, they convince themselves that there will be time in their old age to concern themselves with matters of the spirit. And so, ten, twenty or more years swiftly pass, as the cycle of work and relaxation repeats itself again and again, with little earned for the long road that all men eventually travel. Those with such an attitude are like the man in our parable who failed to recognize the real purpose of his journey.
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Let us make the most of our years, days and hours. The potential for accomplishment is without limit.
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 167– Soliciting Information
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Not only may one listen to rechilus that is important for him to hear, he may even approach someone and request information that would otherwise be considered rechilus. Obviously, the solicitor must make it clear that his solicitation is sanctioned by halachah.
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One must also be careful to request only pertinent information and nothing more. Should the person from whom the information was requested begin relating unnecessary gossip, he should be stopped immediately.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Day after Day
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Torah is also likened to bread, as it is written, “Come partake of my bread” (Mishlei 9:5). Now, if man does not eat bread for a day or two, he becomes weakened; if he goes a week without bread (or a comparable substitute), he becomes extremely weak and it is difficult for him to regain the strength that he has lost. This is exactly the way of Torah study, which is sustenance for the soul. If a Jew lets a few days go by without study, his soul becomes weakened; if he lets an entire week slip by, his soul grows extremely weak.
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One must be extremely zealous not to allow even a day to pass without Torah study. Such interruptions have a negative impact on the Torah study that will follow, as the Sages state, “If you forsake me [the Torah] for one day, I will forsake you for two” (Yerushalmi Berachos 9:5).
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If extenuating circumstances cause a cancellation of one’s daily study session, the student should consider this as “borrowed time” that must be repaid. He should strive to repay his debt quickly, in the way of the Talmudic sage who “borrowed by day and paid back that night” (Eruvin 65a).
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As mentioned above, one must ensure that his study sessions not be marked by interruptions. Diligent uninterrupted study causes a spirit of sanctity to become manifest upon the student; such is not the case with study marked by disruption.
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 168 – Lending an Ear????????
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There are instances where one may listen to?rechilus?although the information is not at all pertinent to him.
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When an individual is experiencing sadness or extreme anxiety and is in need of someone with whom to share his frustration, it is considered an act of kindness to lend a sympathetic ear and listen to his troubles. One must be certain, though, that the circumstances do, in fact, demand this. Also, such expression should not become a regular occurrence for the speaker. Finally, care must be taken that the speaker not wander from the matter at hand and offer negative remarks which are not relevant.
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One may also listen to?rechilus?if his intention is to make the speaker understand that his perception of the situation, and of those of whom he speaks negatively, is mistaken.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Taking Hold of the Tree
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The Torah is called a “tree of life for those who grasp it” (Mishlei?3:18). The way to grab onto a tree is to take hold of one its branches; in so doing, one has attached himself to the entire tree of which this branch is a part. So it is, explains?Sefer Chareidim?(ch. 61), with Torah. The way to attach oneself to the 613?mitzvos?is by fulfilling one particular?mitzvah?with exacting precision and total dedication. Dedication and attachment to a single commandment will cause one’s soul to become united with Hashem and His Torah and will lead to the proper fulfillment of other?mitzvos?as well. Thus do we find, “Rav Nachman said: I will be rewarded [in the World to Come] for having [zealously] fulfilled [the?mitzvah] to eat three meals on Shabbos. Rav Sheishes said: I will be rewarded for having [zealously] fulfilled the?mitzvah?of?tefillin” (Shabbos?118b). The Talmud goes on to cite similar statements of other Sages and offers illustrations of how meticulously each sage fulfilled the?mitzvah?of which he spoke.?Sefer Chareidim?also cites?Talmud Yerushalmi?which states that fulfillment of a given?mitzvah?with total dedication and precision is a catalyst for earning the great reward of the World to Come.
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Thus, the above can be added to all the great benefits of?shmiras haloshon?of which we have already spoken. One who will dedicate himself to the meticulous observance of these laws in all their fine details, in all situations and under all conditions, will thereby take hold of a branch of the Tree of Life and merit reward that no angel can fathom.
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 169 – Believing Rechilus?
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The prohibition which forbids acceptance of loshon hora or rechilus, which we have translated “Do not accept a false report,” uses the term “shav,” which literally means vain or meaningless. Clearly, the inference is that negative speech is not often to be given credence.
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It is often difficult, if not impossible, for a speaker to convey every detail and all background information that is crucial for an accurate understanding of a given occurrence. Certainly, if the speaker is violating halachah by relating rechilus, one dare not assume that he is being careful to speak only the truth. Therefore, as in the case of loshon hora, belief of secondhand information in a way that could cause ill feelings among people is unjustified and prohibited.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Lying in Disgrace
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The obligation to bury a meis mitzvah, unattended corpse, rests upon all Jews without exception. The Talmud (Berachos 19b) states that even a Kohen Gadol (High Priest), a nazir,1 or someone who is on his way to the Temple to bring a Pesach offering must attend to a meis mitzvah.
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Sefer Chareidim (105:261) writes that a mitzvah which the current generation is neglecting is akin to a meis mitzvah. When no one pursues a given mitzvah — pursue it! Otherwise, that mitzvah ascends before the Heavenly Throne and complains, “How lowly I am, for I am all but forgotten from among the people.’’
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What is an actual meis mitzvah? A lifeless corpse. The Torah is stringent regarding its burial, not because of what it is now, but because of what it once was — an abode for a Jewish soul. It is thus that the Torah requires that a Kohen Gadol — who is not permitted to attend to the corpse of even his own father or mother — attend to a meis mitzvah, so that it not lie in disgrace. Surely, then, if a mitzvah of the Torah — which is more precious than gems (Mishlei?3:13) and is the “daily delight” of the One Above (ibid.?8:30) — is lying in disgrace, it is our obligation to strengthen ourselves in its observance, so that it not be cause for indictment of our generation before Hashem.
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To our misfortune, the concept of loshon hora is woefully ignored by many in our generation, thus making it a “meis mitzvah” of our day. How great then is the reward of those who rescue this mitzvah from disgrace by faithfully adhering to the laws of shmiras haloshon.
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1. The voluntary vow which makes a person a nazir (lit., one who is separated) requires him to abstain from eating grapes or their derivatives; from cutting his hair; and from coming in contact with a human corpse (see Bamidbar ch. 6).
Dedications and Sponsorships
Do you know someone who needs a refuah shleima? A shidduch? Or perhaps a meaningful yahrtzeit is approaching? As a merit for a recovery from illness or for a departed family member you can sponsor a daily email and have over 8,000 people, every day, learn and be inspired as a z’chus for your loved one. To sponsor a daily email visit?

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