Posting for a friend, please use email below.? Woman from Beitar takes care of women that need help in their home. she can work up to 5 hrs daily. She can change diapers, shower, cook, and do laundry. She has been working already for families 9 years.? If you know anyone that could use this service please send her an email.? Renee Smith Please pass this notice along if you know a family that can use this service
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The
Place, The Jerusalem Centre for Emotional Wellbeing proudly invites the women
of the community? to:
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Talking to God
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Monday, June 26th
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20:00
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Talking
to God, an award winning spiritual comedy about happiness...
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The
Story:??After
12?nights of insomnia and feeling like her life is unraveling, Rebecca
travels to the Ukraine in a desperate attempt to find a magic cure. There she
finally sleeps and discovers the meaning of life through an outrageous cast of
characters, including a man who is truly happy despite having nothing. The film raises the questions of : How
can I be happy? Why am I here? And more…
?
Following the
screening the main actress will tell the true stories behind making the film.
?
Here's what the?press?wrote:
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The?Jerusalem Post?:
“Talking to God is funny, poignant, heartwarming and with a message”. ?
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The?Jewish Press?writes
“Talking to God ?is universal because?it’s based on the important
question of ‘what makes a person happy’ ”.?
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The?Algemeiner?Journal
praises “Talking to God is a whimsical joyous film.”?
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For
info and to register call or WhatsApp: 054-260-1468
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Early
Bird special until June 23rd:? 50 NIS
Full
Price:? 55 NIS
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75
Minutes in Length
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The Place,
The
Jerusalem Centre for Emotional Wellbeing
2/19
Sheshet Hayamim, Knissa Gimmel, Ramat Eshkol
972-(2)-581-8299
?? 054-260-1468 WhatsApp
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Bus
Lines:? 22, 25, 39, 45, 59, 65, 68, 69,
77, 77A
Light
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Did we find the magic weight loss drug
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? Schedule your FREE consultation Our FREE 20 minute consultation can help you find the program best for you.
We offer Wellness coaching, Health and Fitness assessments,?and Exercise both in our office and ONLINE. ?? info@... ? 02- 651-8502;?050-555-7175 (between 8:00-19:00) ? ? Sign up for our newsletter—info@...?? ?
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New computers for sale and more
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 86 – Advice
?
The previous rules apply to the initiator of a shidduch, employment or business partnership.? Halacha classifies such a person as an advisor and requires that he not make the suggestion if he has reason to suspect that it may not
be in the best interest of either party.
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A similar set of rules applies to one who did not make the suggestion, but whose advice is sought by one of the parties.? He too must not be guilty of misleading the people involved.? In fact, his responsibility is even greater than that of the shadchan (matchmaker).?
Whereas the shadchan merely suggests that the shidduch be considered, the advisor often states a definitive opinion regarding the proposed relationship which may profoundly influence the party’s final decision.
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Giving advice is not a matter to be taken lightly.? One does not give guidance unless he believes he understands the situation, and has the insight and life experience necessary to properly direct his petitioner.? One should never encourage a match he knows
nothing about for the sake of seeing to it that the person “finally gets married.”? One may encourage a match only if he sincerely believes that it is good for both parties.
Thus, while the advisor’s first obligation is to the party he is advising, it is forbidden for him to encourage a shidduch that he clearly knows is bad for the other party.? This would be considered speaking loshon hora in the form of speech that causes harm.
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It is forbidden for an advisor to discourage a relationship unless his disapproval is based on firsthand information that was carefully analyzed.
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Finally, if an advisor encouraged his petitioner to pursue a given shidduch but his advice was ignored, he may not draw the conclusion that the person “just doesn’t want to get married,” is “incapable of making commitments,” or has “unrealistic expectations.”?
To make such statements would be to speak loshon hora and perhaps hotzaas shem ra (slander).
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Debt of Gratitude
?
We can suggest another explanation of R’ Yitzchak’s teaching: “Which craft should man pursue in this world? He should make himself like a mute.’’
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Suppose a person suddenly suffers a loss of speech. All the city’s doctors are summoned to suggest a cure, but all fail. Finally, a renowned specialist is brought in from another city. He succeeds in curing the patient and refuses any offer of payment for his
services. Imagine the love and gratitude which the patient would feel toward the doctor! His gratitude would be readily apparent; he would run to do the doctor’s every bidding. For the patient to speak a negative word about the doctor would be unthinkable.
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Hashem has given man something which He has not given any other earthly creature — a speaking soul through which he can study Torah and perform other mitzvos, thus earning for himself eternal reward. By the strict measure of justice, a person who has used his
tongue hundreds of times to speak the forbidden should awaken one morning to find that he has lost his power of speech. However, Hashem, Whose compassion is boundless and Who is slow to anger, continues to grant this priceless gift as He awaits the person’s
repentance.
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How can such a person persist in speaking loshon hora and other forms of evil speech? Is this how one expresses gratitude to the One Above?
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Which craft should man pursue in this world? He should make himself like a mute. A person who has been guilty in the past of speaking the forbidden should forever bear in mind that it is only through the kindness of Hashem that he has not awakened one morning
to find himself a mute. Through such reflection, one will forever feel indebted to Hashem for His unceasing kindness and will surely refrain from forbidden speech
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Keep reading Day 87, the lesson for Shabbos
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 87 – Providing Information
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?Unlike the Shadchan (matchmaker) or advisor, a third party who is approached with specific questions about one of the parties is not offering advice. His primary concern, therefore, is not the sin of misleading others.
His main responsibility is to be honest, and to refrain from speaking that which might constitute loshon hora.
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If asked whether the other party has a specific relevant shortcoming, it is certainly correct to tell the truth. For example, if one is asked about the person’s character, and is aware that he has an uncontrollable temper, this must be told,
濒’迟辞别濒别蝉 (for a constructive purpose). Of course, the preconditions for relating such information are required (second-hand information must be presented as such; constructive intent is required; and one may relate only that which is accurate and necessary).
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If however, one is approached for information that on an objective level is irrelevant but in the eyes of this party is important, one is faced with a dilemma. To provide the information is, in effect, assisting in the unjustified abrogation of a potentially
successful shidduch. On the other hand, one does not have the right to mislead the party by way of false information, and in so doing, decide the person’s future for him without his knowledge. The Chofetz Chaim suggests that in such cases one defer
by saying,” I don’t know.” (Why this does not constitute falsehood will be discussed later.)
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In summation then, if, for example, an eligible young man is insistent that the woman he marries be at least four years younger than he, should never have failed an exam in elementary school, or comply with some other stipulation of seeming irrelevance, one
who is asked concerning such matter should simply say, “I don’t know.” However, a
shadchan may not suggest someone who does not meet these terms without first consulting a rav.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Study the Laws
?
There is another meaning to the description of the art of silence as a craft.
One who seeks to become a craftsman must study and train until he has mastered the skills of a given craft. There is no other way to become a true expert at one’s trade.
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With regard to speech, one might be inclined to think: “Why must I study the laws of
shmiras haloshon in all their fine details? I will simply train myself to avoid conversation. That way, I will surely not transgress!’’ This is a mistake, for not always is silence desirable. In fact, there are even times when the
halachah requires that one relate negative information about a given individual! Therefore, one must study and know well the laws of speech in all their details, so that he will truly master the art of silence.
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The Sages were very exacting in stating, “Which craft should man pursue in this world?’’ For one might mistakenly think: “It has been my way for many years to be careful in avoiding forbidden speech. I have more experience in this ‘craft’ than a real craftsman
has in his particular expertise! Shmiras haloshon is by now second nature to me; there is no longer any need for vigilance.’’
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To preclude this false notion, the Sages state: “Which craft should man pursue
in this world?’’ to indicate that all man’s days in this world he must be alert to the pitfalls of forbidden speech.
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Dedications and Sponsorships??????
?Do you know someone who needs a refuah shleima? A shidduch? Or perhaps a meaningful yahrtzeit is approaching? As a merit for a recovery from illness or for a departed
family member you can sponsor a daily email and have over 8,000 people, every day, learn and be inspired as a z’chus for your loved one. Please call
845-352-3505 #113 or email
lozeri@... to sponsor or for more information on other sponsorship opportunities.
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Today's Inspiration - Shavua tov!
God's Abundance
Said the Besht: "God's abundance fills the world at all times, sice there is no time above us; and it always seeks a channel through which it may descend unto men. If our words of prayer or learning are concentrated upon God, they unite with His abundance and form the channel through which it descends upon the world."
Source: Kether Shem Tov
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Looking to borrow book angel among men by simcha raz
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 85 – Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
?
In light of the prohibition of misleading one’s fellow (see Days 79-80), one may be reluctant to suggest shidduchim (marriage matches) altogether; others may feel it necessary to mention every possible shortcoming of the person
so as not to be guilty of misrepresenting the truth.
?
Few acts of chesed (kindness) can compare with that of helping to build a Jewish home.? One who thinks that a certain young man may be a suitable match for a certain young woman is not responsible to investigate the two and their families before proposing the
match.? That is the responsibility of the parties involved and their parents.
?
However, the prohibition against misleading one’s fellow requires that one not suggest a shidduch unless:
?
(1) He believes that given what he knows of their personalities, the two could be a good match, and he is unaware of any reason the relationship should cause pain to either one.
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(2) In his opinion, there is reason to believe that their meeting will ultimately result in an engagement.? (It is wrong to waste a person’s time, energy and emotions!)
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(3) He is not aware of any medical, emotional, or character deficiency that would render one party unfit for marriage.
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(4) He does not feel that either party will have a negative influence upon the other.
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(5) He is not aware that one party lacks something that the other is insistent upon, or has something to which the other has explicitly expressed strong objection.
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Should there be any doubt as to whether any of these conditions have been met; the counsel of a talmid chacham (a very learned person) should be sought.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Quality of Silence
?
R’ Yitzchak said: Which craft should man pursue in this world? He should make himself like a mute (Chullin 89a).
?
R’ Yitzchak’s description of the quality of silence as a craft, conveys a number of important lessons:
?
If a person who is unfamiliar with a certain trade seeks to create a product of that trade with his own hands, he will find the task exceedingly difficult, regardless of how simple he may have imagined it to be. To become skilled in a given craft requires a
period of training and experience.
?
So it is with the art of silence. The ability to restrain oneself from speaking when the situation warrants silence is, indeed, precious. With the quality of silence, man is protected from the many sins which are related to speech; without it, it is exceedingly
difficult to refrain from verbal transgression.
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A person who exercises restraint in speech only when the possibility of forbidden speech seems likely, but at all other times speaks whatever comes to mind, will be unable to avoid transgression. Such a person is simply not accustomed to restraining himself
in this area, and is totally unprepared when the moment of trial arrives.
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Therefore, one should train himself, like someone learning a craft, to exercise restraint in speech. One must reach the point where such restraint comes naturally to him. Which craft should man pursue in this world? He should make himself like a mute. Then
he will surely refrain from forbidden speech and avoid any such sin.
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Dedications and Sponsorships??????
Do you know someone who needs a refuah shleima? A shidduch? Or perhaps a meaningful yahrtzeit is approaching? As a merit for a recovery from illness or for a departed
family member you can sponsor a daily email and have over 8,000 people, every day, learn and be inspired as a z’chus for your loved one. Please call
845-352-3505 #113 or email
lozeri@... to sponsor or for more information on other sponsorship opportunities.
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RSVP event for olim and English speakers, Monday June 19 at 7:30 PM
DISCOVER HOW TO SUCCEED IN YOUR ALIYAH!
over?
WINE, CHEESE & GOOD LIGHT REFRESHMENTS
PARLOR MEETING: MONDAY, JUNE 19
Getting to Israel is just the beginning. If you really want to build a successful life in Israel, you need good family connections. You need Aliyah Paveway.
Aliyah Paveway is with you from the day you land until you’re settled.?
GUEST SPEAKER: Tour Guide & Israeli? food connoisseur JOEL HABER who will discuss
A Land of Milk and Mufletta:At the Crossroads of Israel's Cuisine and Culture
WHERE: At the home of Sid Slivko (olim from the US)
Ben Yefuneh St 10b, apartment 15
RSVP: by Sunday
052-609-1415
or write?sslivko@...
The family you need for a successful life in Israel.?
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Job Opp Immediate Fill Israel (WFH): Skilled Executive Assistant
Israel (WFH): Skilled
Executive Assistant
?
Trebuchet Outsourcing
Services is seeking a self-motivated and detail-oriented Executive Assistant to
support a client’s Senior Executive. The successful candidate will manage
administrative tasks, enabling the executive to focus on strategic objectives
and company growth. With a primary focus on maintaining organization and
supporting lead research for Employee Retention Tax Credits (ERTC), the role
will also involve aiding in crafting professional emails and other
communication tasks. The Executive Assistant must be comfortable interacting
with high-level executives and demonstrate a proactive, can-do attitude.
?
Responsibilities:
·? Manage scheduling for the executive, including appointments and meetings.
·? Draft, review, and help send professional communications on the
executive’s behalf, including emails and memos.
·? Perform research tasks to identify potential leads for ERTC.
·? Organize meetings, document requests, CRM records, and other executive
support tasks.
·? Prioritize and manage incoming communications, responding when
necessary.
·? Maintain comprehensive and accurate records relating to the executive’s
duties.
·? Provide administrative support as needed.
Qualifications:
·? Mother-tongue English speaker.
·? Bachelor’s degree preferred.
·? Minimum of three to five years’ experience in supporting a senior
executive or team.
·? Airtable knowledge or previous CRM experience is preferred (otherwise
training will be provided).
·? Excellent computer skills, including proficiency in Microsoft Office
Suite (Outlook, Word, PowerPoint, and Excel).
·? Exceptional writing, editing, and proofreading skills, as well as
excellent verbal communication skills.
·? Strong organization and time-management skills.
·? Previous experience in the financial services industry or technology
team is a plus.
·? Understanding of Employee Retention Tax Credits is a plus (otherwise
training will be provided).
Personal Skills:
·? A self-starter who exhibits sound judgment and the ability to prioritize
and make decisions.
·? Energetic and eager to tackle new projects and ideas.
·? Team player with the ability to build productive working relationships
across the firm.
·? Thrives in a fast-paced environment.
This role is integral
to our client’s team, and they look forward to welcoming a committed individual
ready to contribute to the growth and success of their company. If this sounds
like a role where you can thrive, we encourage you to apply.
?
The position initially
calls for a minimum 10 hour per week commitment, overlapped with US East Coast
business hours (after 4:00pm Israel time), but this is expected to eventually
increase.
?
You must have a quiet
work environment, a strong internet connection and a fully equipped home
office, including a state-of-the-art Windows computer and accessories,
including webcam.
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You must be eligible to
work in the US to qualify for this position.?Please respond by
emailing your English cover letter and resume to?hr_1@trebout.com?with “Executive
Assistant” as the subject.
? Hillel LevinMa'ale Adumim; overlooking Yerushalayim, Ir HaKodesh for 3000 years. Connecting with my brothers and sisters!
LinkedIn Profile ?http://il.linkedin.com/in/hillellevin FB Page: ?
Israel Chesed Opportunities Job Opps in Israel
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Re: Photos of the Jerusalem Book Fair
Todah...so much appreciated. Yehudis D. Har Nof
On Thu, Jun 15, 2023 at 7:29?AM Jacob Richman < jrichman@...> wrote: Hi Everyone!
Today, I went to the Jerusalem Book Fair at the First Station
(the original train station in Jerusalem).
There was a good turnout for the first day of the book fair.
After 38 years in Israel, I still get a kick out of seeing the covers
of English books I read when I was a kid but with Hebrew titles and text.
You can see some examples in the photos I took today.
The photos are posted at:
Enjoy and please share. Thank You!
Have a good night,
Jacob
jrichman@...
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Today's Inspiration - Shabbat shalom!
Thanks in Advance
Said the Medzibozer: "We say in the Sabbath Evening Home Prayer: 'I thank You for all the favors which You did to?us and for all that You will do to us.' Why do we not wait until the favors come before we thank You? It is because we may not be in the proper mood to thank You as we ought when Your favors are made known; hence we thank You in advance while we are in a mood of holines."
Source: Butzina de-Nehora
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Photos of the Jerusalem Book Fair
Hi Everyone!
Today, I went to the Jerusalem Book Fair at the First Station
(the original train station in Jerusalem).
There was a good turnout for the first day of the book fair.
After 38 years in Israel, I still get a kick out of seeing the covers
of English books I read when I was a kid but with Hebrew titles and text.
You can see some examples in the photos I took today.
The photos are posted at:
Enjoy and please share. Thank You!
Have a good night,
Jacob
jrichman@...
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?
SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 83 – Suggesting a Relationship
?
We have seen that it is forbidden to attempt to involve someone in a situation that the person would not want, would he be aware of certain facts.
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If an acquaintance is seeking a person with years of experience with whom to start a business, one may not recommend someone who appears to be experienced but, in fact, is not – unless the acquaintance is told this.? This holds true even if the person possesses
natural talent which seems to compensate for his lack of experience.
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Often, people feel that they know what their friend is “really looking for” far better than the friend himself does, and feel justified in deceiving the friend by providing inaccurate information about a perspective shidduch (marriage match), or employee, with
the aim of seeing the shidduch or hiring realized.
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It is presumptuous and arrogant for one to think that he has the right to make others’ life decisions for them.
Furthermore, it should be understood that the human personality is complex.? Logically, one may seem to have found the perfect match for his friend.? Nevertheless, if one’s friend has developed an attitude – irrational though it may be – that he or she will
only marry someone who meets a particular specification, hiding the truth about a prospective mate could have lifelong repercussions.? Upon discovering the truth after the wedding, the person might spend the rest of is married life feeling that he settled
for second best.? Even if he was told the truth right before the wedding and nevertheless went through with it, feelings of disappointment might surface later.
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Such practices, though well intended, constitute giving bad advice and are in violation of “Before a blind person do not place a stumbling block.”
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Way of Moshe
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A son is required to totally remove himself from his father’s feud when he sees himself as powerless to resolve it. However, in a situation where a father has high regard for his son’s opinion and would allow him to bring the matter to a peaceful resolution,
the son is obligated to become involved.
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Tanna D’Vei Eliyahu Rabbah (ch. 21) states: “One cannot stand silently as his father and mother speak forbidden talk. If he will remain silent, the lives of all three may be cut short.’’1
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It is a mitzvah for every Jew to make peace between feuding parties. As the Mishnah states (Pe’ah 1:1), this is one of the deeds whose “fruits” one enjoys in this world but whose “principal” [i.e. primary reward] remains for the World to Come. Even if one side
is clearly wrong and is deserving of punishment for having initiated the dispute, and one has the power to bring this punishment upon this person, nevertheless, he should do everything in his power to resolve the matter peacefully. Such was the way of Moshe,
who strove to make peace with Dasan and Aviram, though he had the power to bring punishment upon them for their having brazenly opposed him. Thus does the Torah relate, “Moshe stood up and went to Dasan and Aviram” (Bamidbar 15:25), to which the Sages comment,
“From this we derive that one should not remain steadfast in dispute” (Sanhedrin 110a).
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Because Moshe went to the tents of Dasan and Aviram to make peace, he merited to save four righteous individuals, Ohn ben Peles and Korach’s three sons, from the sufferings of Gehinnom.
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1. Of course, he should intervene respectfully, in consonance with the stringent rules of kibud av v’em (honoring one’s father and mother — see Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah ch. 240).
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 82 – Potentially Harmful Relationships
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The next set of rules concerns information which, if provided, could prevent a potential relationship (e.g. business partnership, shidduch {marriage match}, hiring a worker) from materializing.
?
In these cases, Halachah differentiates between three situations:
(1) Where one suggests the relationship;
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(2) Where one is called on to answer questions from one party concerning the other;
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(3) Where one is in a position to volunteer information to either one of the parties about the other though it has not been requested.
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These three situations involve different Torah commandments and therefore are to be dealt with using varying criteria.
?
When suggesting that someone consider entering into a relationship with someone else, one must be mindful of the commandment Lifnei ivair lo sitain michshol, Before a blind person do not place a stumbling block (Vayikra?19:14),
which our Sages interpret as an admonition not to offer aitza sheaino hogenes, advice which is not proper.
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It is absolutely forbidden to suggest someone as a possible employee, business partner, or marriage partner if one is aware that:
?
(1) Objectively speaking, it may not be good for the people involved,
or (2) it does not satisfy the subjective needs and tastes of both parties.
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Not only is it cruel to subject people to situations that are bad for them, it is also wrong to involve the unsuspecting in relationships they would not have wanted had they known the facts.
Examples of this rule will be discussed below.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
?
The Sons of Korach
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The sons of Korach were not drawn after their father’s rebellious ways, and thus were saved from the terrible punishment which befell him. As the Midrash comments (Yalkut Shimoni, Parashas Korach, ch. 16):
?
Praiseworthy is the man (Tehillim 1:1): These are the sons of Korach. ...
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that walks not in the counsel of the wicked: who did not follow their father’s counsel, as it is written, “[Moshe told the people:] ‘Turn away now from the tents of these wicked men ...’ ” (Bamidbar?16:26).
?
... and stood not in the path of the sinful: as it is written, “As for the fire-pans of these sinners against their [own] souls” (ibid. 17:3).
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... and sat not in the sessions of scoffers: This refers to Korach who scorned Moshe and Aharon.
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The Midrash (Yalkut Shimoni 752) relates that at one point the sons of Korach were in a dilemma. They were sitting with their father when Moshe appeared. They said to one another: “What shall we do? If we rise out of respect for Moshe, we will, in effect, be
showing disrespect for our father, and we are commanded to honor father and mother. If we do not rise, we will have transgressed the command to rise before a sage.’’ They decided to rise out of respect for Moshe. It was in this merit that they were saved,
for at that moment thoughts of repentance stirred in their hearts. Regarding them did David say, “My heart is astir with a good theme” (Tehillim 45:2).
SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 84 – When Facts May be Concealed
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There are times when a rav may permit suggesting a shidduch and temporarily concealing information which could prevent the shidduch from coming about.
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Occasionally, a situation exists as a result of which people might be reluctant to even consider a shidduch(3) with a particular person or family, though, in fact, the situation need not warrant such reluctance.
It is in such a case that a rav may permit an initial meeting (and at times even a series of meetings) without the pertinent fact being mentioned, so that when it finally is revealed, the person stands a chance of being judged fairly.
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However, it is forbidden to conceal the information until after the other party has developed strong, positive feelings concerning the shidduch, for at that point, the party will be denied the opportunity to reach an objective decision, and will have been the
victim of dishonesty and manipulation.
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Needless to say, such decisions are not to be made by a shadchan (matchmaker) and certainly not by the family involved.? Only a qualified Torah authority should decide such matters.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Perseverance
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David declared: “Seek peace and pursue it” (Tehillim 34:15). The Sages comment (Vayikra Rabbah 9:9): “Seek peace for your loved ones and pursue it for your enemies; seek peace where you live and pursue it elsewhere; seek peace with your body and pursue it with
your resources; seek peace for yourself and pursue it for others; seek peace today and pursue it tomorrow.’’
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This final exhortation means that one should never despair of making peace; rather, he should pursue it today, and then tomorrow, and the next day ... until he attains it.
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If thick ropes which pull a wagon are strained regularly, they will become weak, and eventually will tear. So it is with strife. If one does not succeed in making peace on his first or second attempt, nevertheless, he should not abandon his pursuit of this
sacred achievement. Ultimately, his words will accomplish. If he will have no effect at all upon the prime quarrelers, because they have become overpowered by the appetite for triumph and are blind to the truth, he may be able to influence those who have been
drawn into a quarrel that is not their own. In this way, he will save them from the bitter retribution which results from strife, in the way of Moshe, who saved Ohn and Korach’s sons. |
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Dedications and Sponsorships??????
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The Source of Livelihood
Said the Koretzer: :It often happens that a wealthy good man loses his fortune. Perhaps we may explain this occurrence as follows: the Lord wishes to tempt the man to discover whether he believed his riches had come from successful business enterprises or through the aid of the Lord who is the Cause of Causes. If a man is wise, he will understand that it is within the power of God to provide him with a livelihood in one fashion, just as he had done in another, previous to the loss of his wealth."
Source: SIach Sarfei Kodesh
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 81 – Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
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Another form of constructive speech is that which prevents or breaks up a relationship that is harmful to at least one of the parties.? It is correct to suggest that someone distance himself from a person or persons who may have
a negative influence upon him.? Similarly, it is proper to inform a parent that someone may be having a negative influence on his child.? All preconditions must, of course, be fulfilled – including verification of fact constructive intent (see Days 43-50).?
If the information is not firsthand it may nevertheless be conveyed, provided that it is clearly being presented as secondhand information.
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With regard to the requirement of accuracy of the information, the Chofetz Chaim(1) suggests that exaggeration may be permissible if that is the only way to convince the person or parent to end the relationship.
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The Chofetz Chaim adds that it is imperative to explain why conveying the information does not constitute speaking loshon hora, especially when speaking to a child.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Father and Son
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Even if the quarreler is one’s close relative, including his own father, he should, nevertheless, be exceedingly careful not to join the feud.
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Even if it appears that one’s father is correct in his contentions, one should seek to quell the dispute, rather than to strengthen his father’s hand against his adversary. Aside from the mitzvah of making peace between Jews, one should realize that it is impossible
to see things objectively when one of the parties involved is one’s parent. Sifre interprets the phrase, “...your friend who is like your own soul” (Devarim 13:7) as a reference to one’s father, whom one loves like his own self. Thus, deciding between the
positions of one’s father and his adversary is akin to deciding between the positions of oneself and one’s own adversary.
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If a father instructs his son to assist him in his dispute, his order must not be obeyed. For, as the halachah states (Yoreh De’ah 240:15), if a father commands his son to transgress even a Rabbinic decree, his order must be ignored, for both father and son
are obligated to honor the word of Hashem. This is especially true with regard to the severe sin of engaging in strife.
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Dedications and Sponsorships??????
?Do you know someone who needs a refuah shleima? A shidduch? Or perhaps a meaningful yahrtzeit is approaching? As a merit for a recovery from illness or for a departed
family member you can sponsor a daily email and have over 8,000 people, every day, learn and be inspired as a z’chus for your loved one. Please call
845-352-3505 #113 or email
lozeri@... to sponsor or for more information on other sponsorship opportunities.
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 79 – Rabble-Rousers
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The Talmud teaches that one is permitted to speak loshon hora about baalei machlokes, men of strife, who are at the forefront of a community feud.? The purpose of speaking out against such individuals is to encourage other members
of the community to dissociate themselves from them.? Isolating instigators of a dispute can help restore tranquility to a community torn by strife.? The undisputed rav of a community could, for example, urge his constituents to refrain from conversing with
certain individuals, so as not to give them an opportunity to develop a following to create strife.
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However, disparagement of one party in a dispute by the other usually results in mudslinging which further escalates the dispute.? That is not at all what the Sages had in mind when they permitted speaking against baalei machlokes.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Don’t Get Involved
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Above, we discussed the seriousness of initiating and pursuing strife. One must also beware not to lend support to either party in a feud, lest he suffer along with them when their time of retribution arrives. As the Mishnah states: “Scripture punishes an accomplice
to transgressors like the transgressors themselves”
(Mishnah Makkos 1:7).
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The Midrash states (Bamidbar Rabbah 18:3): “Take heed of the severity of strife, for when one is an accomplice to strife, the Holy One, Blessed is He, brings about his end, as it is written [regarding those who sided with Korach], ‘A flame came forth from Hashem
and consumed the two hundred and fifty men who were offering the incense’ ” (Bamidbar 16:35).
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The Talmud states: “Rav said: Whoever maintains a dispute transgresses a negative commandment, as it is written, ‘... that he not be like Korach and his assembly ...’ ” (ibid. 17:5). Rav Asi said: Such a person is fit to be afflicted with tzaraas” (Sanhedrin
110a). In a previous chapter we cited the words of Sefer HaKaneh which state that at times God substitute’s poverty for tzaraas, thus placing the sinner at the mercy of his fellow men.
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Keep reading Day 80, the lesson for Shabbos
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 80 – Learning from Others’ Mistakes
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We have seen (Day 11) that it is forbidden to discuss someone’s faults even with people who are aware of these deficiencies, for to focus on a person’s weaknesses is lowly.
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However, when teaching or offering guidance, one may make use of real-life illustrations of improper behavior in other people and even refer to those people by name, provided that the listeners are already familiar with the behavior of these people.? The use
of actual situations to which the listener can relate will deliver a message that mere discussion cannot convey.? Reference to negativity here is constructive and is not considered lowly.
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Therefore, it is permissible to make reference to the life-style of a non-observant Jew to emphasize weaknesses in his behavior and its consequences, though his lack of observance is rooted in ignorance.? However, one should be careful not to condemn the person.
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One may not use examples from the past history of a baal teshuva without his permission.? Constructive intent is not a license for possible embarrassment.
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It is also wrong to use examples from the lifestyles of different ethnic groups within the Jewish nation unless it is clear that neither speaker nor listener is unsympathetic towards that group.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Pursuer’s Lot
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Scripture states: “God always seeks the pursued” (Koheles 3:15).
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The Midrash comments (Vayikra Rabbah 27:5):
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R’ Yose ben Nehurai said: The Holy One, Blessed is He, always exacts retribution from the pursuers for the blood of the pursued.
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R’ Elazar said in the name of R’ Yose ben Zimra: So it is with Temple offerings. God said: The ox is pursued by the lion, the goat by the leopard, the sheep by the wolf; do not bring offerings from the pursuers, but only from the pursued.
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One must refrain from assisting in a feud, lest Hashem hold him accountable for the hurt caused the other party. Rather than anticipate the glory of triumph when his side emerges victorious, let him instead picture the shame and retribution that may be his
lot.
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One who scrupulously avoids dispute is truly honored by others, as it is written, “It is an honor for a man to refrain from quarreling” (Mishlei
20:3). The Midrash comments (Yalkut HaMechiri, Mishlei 26:14): If personal dignity demands that one refrain from becoming involved in personal feud, then certainly it demands that one avoid becoming entangled in someone else’s feud! Of
those who take the opposite path, Scripture states: “Like someone who grabs hold of a dog’s ears is a passerby who becomes involved in a quarrel not his own” (Mishlei
26:17).1
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1.The man who grabs hold of a dog’s ears has only himself to blame for the bite that is sure to come
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Dedications and Sponsorships??????
?Do you know someone who needs a refuah shleima? A shidduch? Or perhaps a meaningful yahrtzeit is approaching? As a merit for a recovery from illness or for a departed
family member you can sponsor a daily email and have over 8,000 people, every day, learn and be inspired as a z’chus for your loved one. Please call
845-352-3505 #113 or email
lozeri@... to sponsor or for more information on other sponsorship opportunities.
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The next Movie Matinee at Beit Knesset Hanassi is “Orchestra of Exiles”. It is a riveting, remarkable movie! The film tells the incredible and inspiring but little-known story of the creation of the Palestine Symphony Orchestra against impossible odds.
Bronislaw Huberman formed the Orchestra with refugees from Hitler. Using Mr. Huberman’s writings and other historical records, the movie relates this magnificent story through reenactments, narrative and interviews with family members of the original musicians and with other persons including Itzhak Perlman.
Mr. Huberman not “only” created the orchestra, he saved nearly 1,000 Jews.
Please come and learn how our wonderful Symphony Orchestra was created!
The Movie Matinee is on June 20 at 2:00. The film is 1? hours. In addition, there will be a brief introduction of the film, a short talk and discussion after the screening and a handout about the movie.
There will be refreshments. No reservations are required. Beit Knesset Hanassi is located at 24 Ussishkin Street.
The cost is 20 shekels for members of Beit Knesset Hanassi and 30 shekels for non-members.
For more information, please contact Mark Pollock at 0548 01 1957 or markpollock@....
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Alan Fitness
PRD
Jacob Richman