Controlling what we can in stressful times
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 46 – A Last Resort??
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Condition #4:
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If, in addition to personal reproof, any other option exists that could preclude the necessity to speak negatively of someone, it must be pursued.? Negative speech, even for a constructive purpose, is lowly if it can be avoided.
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In the same vein, when speaking negatively is necessary, one must carefully calculate just how much must be related in order to achieve the desired result.? To relate any unnecessary negative information would be to speak loshon hora.
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Furthermore, even if it is clear that someone must be made aware of certain derogatory information about another person, one should choose the least blatant means by which to communicate that information.? Directing someone to where he will become aware of
information on his own is preferable to expressing it verbally.
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In comparing two candidates for a position, stressing the strengths of one is often sufficient without actually articulating what the other lacks.? In all cases, the least negative course is the one to follow.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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A Timeless Message
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Remember upon whom the punishment of tzaraas was inflicted — upon the righteous Miriam, in whose merit the miraculous well poured forth water from the time the Jews departed Egypt until her death almost forty years later. She was a prophetess, as it is written,
“Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aharon ...’’ (Shemos?15:20). Her criticism was directed toward
her brother, whom she loved like her very own self, and for whom she endangered her life when she stood by the riverbank when Moshe was placed in the river as an infant (ibid. ch. 2). She did not speak disparagingly of Moshe; she merely accorded him the status
of other prophets.1 She did not speak in Moshe’s presence, which might have caused him embarrassment, nor did she utter her words in public. Whatever she said was spoken between herself and her righteous brother Aharon. Her intentions were purely for the sake
of Heaven. Moreover, Moshe, upon being informed of her words, bore her no ill will, as it is written, “Now the man Moshe was exceedingly humble ...’’ (Bamidbar 12:1). Despite all of the above, Miriam was punished with tzaraas.
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Remember upon whom it was inflicted.
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The Torah relates, “The people did not journey until Miriam was [cured and] brought in [to the camp]’’ (Bamidbar?12:15).
Miriam’s exceptional merits were not enough to allow her punishment to be deferred until the nation had arrived at their next destination, where her condition would have drawn less attention. She was punished on the way, and her disgrace became known to all.
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Remember where the episode of Miriam’s affliction occurred.
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- Thus, she faulted him for not living with his wife as other prophets did.
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Keep reading Day 47, the lesson for Shabbos
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 47 – Be Accurate
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Condition #5:
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While derogatory information may be related for a constructive purpose, slander cannot be justified.? One does not have the right to exaggerate or alter facts for a constructive purpose, nor may one omit details that minimize the severity of the person’s actions.
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Indiscriminate use of superlatives such as “very” can easily distort facts way out of proportion.? This is, in fact, a most common form of slander that people engage in, albeit unwittingly.? Conversely, one must omit authentic details that make the story sound
even worse if the result can be attained without their being mentioned.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Learning from Past Mistakes
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Remember at which juncture in our history the episode of Miriam’s affliction occurred — when you were leaving Egypt.
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Miriam’s words were spoken at the start of the Jews’ second year in the Wilderness, when knowledge of the severity of loshon hora was not widespread among the people.1 Miriam’s affliction made such knowledge known to all, making them fully accountable for transgressing
this sin. This explains the juxtaposition of this episode with that of the Spies who spoke shamefully of the precious Land of Israel. The grievous sin of the Spies and those who accepted their slanderous report was compounded by the fact that they did not
take a lesson from what happened to Miriam.
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We cannot in any way compare ourselves to the righteous Miriam, whose merits, as mentioned above, could not save her from affliction. Moreover, we are obligated to take a lesson both from the episode of Miriam and that of the Spies. Therefore, if one will be
guilty of Miriam’s sin, or worse yet, if he will intentionally seek to degrade or embarrass his fellow Jew, surely he will not escape a most severe punishment — and it may not be long in coming, as was the case with Miriam.
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Remember what HASHEM, your God, did to Miriam on the way, when you were leaving Egypt.
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1. The tzaraas which Moshe himself suffered for having doubted that the Jews would believe him when he returned from Midian to lead them (see Shemos ch. 4) was healed almost immediately and was viewed as a sign rather than a punishment. |
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Time to count #33?
???????? ?????? ?' ?????????? ?????? ????????, ?????? ??????????? ????????????? ?????????? ??? ???????? ???????.?
???? ???? ?????? ??? ??? ????? ?????? ????? ???? ?????/?????.?
????????? ???? ???????? ????? ???????? ????? ???????????? ???????????, ?????????? ??????????, ????? ?????.
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Today's Inspiration - Shavua tov!
The Evil Impulse has no Satan
When Rabbi Eliezer Dzikover was a young boy, he once became unruly. The Ropshitzer, his father, rebuked him. The lad answered: "Father, it is not my fault; the Evil Impulse tempted me , and I succumbed."
"Learn from the Evil Impulse how to do your duty," Said the Ropshitzer.
"But, father," replied the boy, "the Evil impulse has no Satan to tempt him away from his duty."
Source: Ohel Naftali
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Does anyone know the portable cooler systems? We need one that is cost effective and works.? Have limited space.? What options are there and where do I get one?
Many thanks?
Shabbat Shalom?
Shoshanah?
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Today's Inspiration - Shabbat shalom!
Appreciating the Sabbath
Said the Gerer Rabbi: "We say in the Shabbat morning prayer: 'May Moses rejoice in the gift of his lot.' When the giver of a gift sees that the recipient appreciates it by caring for it earnestly, he rejoices. Likewise, when Moses discoverst that Israel appreciates the Sabbath and Holydays, which he presented to us, he is pleased."
Source: Siach Sarfei Kodesh
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 45 – Reprove First
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Condition #3:
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Before speaking about a person with others, one must first discuss the issue with that person himself.? Trying to persuade the sinner to change his ways is a course which must be pursued before bringing anyone else into the picture.? (This would not apply if
speaking to the sinner might make it difficult, if not impossible, to achieve the desired result through any other means.)
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Remembrance
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Remember what Hashem, your God, did to Miriam on the way, when you were leaving Eygpt (Devarim 24:7).
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In this verse, the Torah instructs us to remember four factors in the episode of Miriam’s sin and subsequent punishment: 1) Remember what HASHEM, your God, did — remember the punishment which He inflicted.
2) Remember upon whom it was inflicted — to Miriam. 3) Remember where this occurred — on the way.
?4) Remember at which juncture in our history it occurred — when you were leaving Egypt.
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Each of the above factors is significant, and its remembrance is of great benefit.
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As mentioned above, Miriam was punished with tzaraas for speaking wrongly of her brother Moshe. The metzora, upon being declared healed by the Kohen, must undergo a purification process which includes the taking of two birds. One bird is slaughtered, while
the other is set free upon the open field. The Midrash explains this as an allusion: Just as a slaughtered bird cannot return to life, so too there is no natural way for the metzora to become rid of his tzaraas; his only hope is teshuvah (repentance). And
just as the bird which is set free is allowed to return to its previous way of life, so too can the metzora’s repentance result in a complete cure so that he can return to normal living among his brethren.
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As mentioned above, the tumah (impurity) of tzaraas is extremely severe. The metzora must live in solitude, his clothing rent and his hair disheveled like a mourner, unlike any other tamei (impure person). Anyone who stands under the same roof as the metzora
contracts tumah.1 Moreover, the Sages liken a metzora to a dead person (Nedarim 64b).2
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Remember what HASHEM, your God, did to Miriam...
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1. Aside from a metzora, only a human corpse can transmit tumah in this way.
2. This lends added meaning to the above comparison to a slaughtered bird. |
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Time to count #31?
???????? ?????? ?' ?????????? ?????? ????????, ?????? ??????????? ????????????? ?????????? ??? ???????? ???????.?
???? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ????? ?????? ????? ???? ?????/?????.?
????????? ???? ???????? ????? ???????? ????? ???????????? ???????????, ?????????? ??????????, ????? ?????.
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Thoughts on the parasha and "total victory"
Here's another interesting article by Rabbi David?Harbater?relating the parasha to current times. The “total victory” conundrum–lessons
from?Shemita
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From the very beginning of the war and until this very day,
Prime Minister Netanyahu has declared that the war against Hamas will not end
until Israel has achieved “total victory”. Now, aside from the difficulty of
defining what constitutes “total victory”, it is hard to imagine Israel ever
achieving it, given the fact that in some of the places in which the IDF
previously claimed to have dismantled Hamas’ command structure–such
as Jabalya in the north of Gaza and Zeitoun in the center??–and
then left, Hamas has returned and gained control once again. Furthermore,
Politico just reported that, according to US intelligence, in more than seven
months of war only 30-35 percent of Hamas fighters have been killed, around 65%
of the terror group’s tunnels are still intact, and, to make matters worse,
Hamas, in recent months, has recruited thousands of new members.
?
Thus, it appears that “total victory” over Hamas is an
unrealistic and unattainable goal. At the same time, I believe we can all agree
that, ideally, we?should?eliminate Hamas and its accomplices,
and we?should?reach the point when we can declare “total
victory”. The question at the heart of this matter is, therefore, to what
extent should we make strategic political and military decisions based upon
lofty ideals and to what extent should we make them based on concrete realities
on the ground? In addressing this complex question, I believe we can gain
insight from the biblical mitzvah of?Shemita?about which we
read in Parashat Behar this week.
?
The Torah says the following:
“The Lord spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai: Speak to the Israelite
people and say to them: When you enter the land that I assign to you, the land
shall observe a sabbath of the Lord. Six years you may sow your field and six
years you may prune your vineyard and gather in the yield. But in the seventh
year the land shall have a sabbath of complete rest, a sabbath of the Lord: you
shall not sow your field or prune your vineyard. You shall not reap the
aftergrowth of your harvest or gather the grapes of your untrimmed vines; it
shall be a year of complete rest for the land. But you may eat whatever the
land during its sabbath will produce–you, your
male and female slaves, the hired and bound laborers who live with you, and
your cattle and the beasts in your land may eat all its yield” (Leviticus
25:1-7).
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According to this
text, we are prohibited from sowing and reaping the fields, as well as pruning
and picking vines, in the Land of Israel every seventh year. Instead, the land
is to lie fallow. During this year all the produce of the land is to be enjoyed
by all, landowners and neighbors alike. This is known as the mitzvah of?Shemita?(meaning
“release”), or the Sabbatical year. Some suggest that allowing the land to rest
for a year helps the soil renew and nourish itself, much as we need to rest on
the Sabbath day to renew ourselves, while others suggest that the purpose of
the mitzvah is to remind us of God, the Creator and Master of the world, and to
inculcate faith that even if we don’t work the land for a year, God will
provide for us.
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Personally, I
think?Shemita?is a beautiful mitzvah that reflects some of
Judaism’s loftiest and most noble ideals. That is why, during the?Shemita?year,
I am delighted to have the opportunity to share with neighbors and friends the
delectable figs growing on our large fig tree outside our home in Efrat.
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The problem with?Shemita,?however,
is that it doesn’t merely involve the sharing of fruit from our backyard
gardens but the shutting down of the entire agricultural industry which could
spell financial ruin and potential famine in agrarian societies, as were the
norm in biblical times. Indeed, because God foresaw the likely resistance to
this mitzvah, He promises “I will ordain My blessing for you in the sixth year
so that it shall yield a crop sufficient for three years.” (Leviticus 25:21).
In other words, God, in?Shemita,?is asking us to suspend our
real-world concerns and live instead by the ideals of faith and trust in Him.
?
While this is nice in
theory, it was not always easy to implement in practice. After the Bar Kokhba
revolt, the Roman government abrogated its previous tax exemption which forced
many Jews to compromise their observance of the?Shemita?and,
as a result, the Rabbis felt they had no choice but to relax some of the?Shemita?laws.
Furthermore, with the rise of Zionism and the settlement of the Land in the
late 19th?century, there was a real concern that, if the?Shemita?were
observed, the colonies would turn into wastelands which would spell the end of
the entire Zionist enterprise just when it was beginning to gain traction.
Thus, some leading rabbis at the time devised a halakhic (Jewish legal)
mechanism called?heter mechira?(lit., "sale permit") whereby the land
could be sold to a non-Jew for the duration of the?Shemita?year
under a trust agreement and it would revert to Jewish ownership when the year
was over. Since the land would belong to a non-Jew, the Jews could continue to
farm it.?This mechanism was later embraced by Rabbi?–the first Chief Rabbi of British Mandate Palestine–with some changes, and it
has been accepted by large segments of the religious Zionist community in
Israel ever since.
?
But
for those of us who rely on the?heter mechira,?what is to
become of the great biblical ideal of?Shemita? I believe the answer
can be found in an effort to preserve its spirit. For example, we can spend
more time during the year exploring nature and the outdoors, working to
preserve the environment, and sharing our material blessings with others.
?
Thus,?Shemita?serves
as an example of the tension that sometimes arises between the ideal and the
real, and the need to adopt a more realistic approach without forfeiting the
ideal altogether. I believe that the leaders of Israel today would do well to
learn from this example. Rather than declaring the idealistic, but apparently
unrealistic, goal of “total victory” over Hamas, they should decide on more
realistic goals while preserving the ideal as a clarion call for us to do what
we can and never rest until, one day, we will be able to declare the “total
victory” of light over darkness and of goodness over evil.
?
If you are interested in more articles of this
nature please follow me on Facebook at??and
if you would like to invite me to speak at your synagogue or community please
contact me at?dmharbater@...
?
Rabbi Dr. David?Harbater
Author | Public
Speaker | Jewish Educator
For interesting articles on the parasha and
current events:?
To purchase a copy of my book “In the
Beginnings”:?
For speaking engagements in your synagogue or
community, please contact me:?dmharbater@...
?
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Time to count #30?
???????? ?????? ?' ?????????? ?????? ????????, ?????? ??????????? ????????????? ?????????? ??? ???????? ???????.?
???? ????? ??? ??? ????? ?????? ???? ???? ?????/?????.?
????????? ???? ???????? ????? ???????? ????? ???????????? ???????????, ?????????? ??????????, ????? ?????.
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Who Imprisoned the Satan?
The Riziner said: "When I was imprisoned as a political prisoner, I understood why the midrash described the Satan, the Evil Impulse, as a fool. Even in prison the Evil Impulse would not leave me for a moment, Is he not then a fool? I was compelled to remain in prison, but who compelled the Satan to do so?"
?
Source: Midor Dor
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 44 – End Result?
Before relating negative information l’toeles, for a constructive purpose, one must carefully consider whether or not his words will, in fact, bring about the desired result.? Speaking negatively l’toeles is justified only if
there is a reasonable chance that the desired result will be accomplished.
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This point is of particular importance when one seeks to discourage a potentially harmful friendship, business association or shidduch (marriage match).? Often, a final decision has already been made, and speaking negatively of the other party will serve no
constructive purpose.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Miriam’s Affliction
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The Torah relates (Bamidbar ch. 12) how Miriam criticized her brother Moshe for not living with his wife after the Torah was given through him. Miriam did not realize that a man of Moshe’s humility and selflessness would not have done so unless he had been
commanded to be in a constant state of readiness to receive prophecy. Miriam was punished with tzaraas, and was subsequently healed through the prayers of Moshe.
?
The Torah states: “Beware of a tzaraas affliction, to be very careful and to act; according to all that the Kohanim, the Levites shall teach you ...’’(Devarim 24:8). The very next verse exhorts the Jewish people to “Remember what HASHEM, your God, did to Miriam
on the way when you were leaving Egypt.’ Sifre comments:
?
Why are these two verses juxtaposed? — to teach that Miriam was punished [with tzaraas] only because she spoke loshon hora. It is a kal v’chomer (a fortiori): If Miriam, who spoke against her younger brother, was punished [so severely], then how much more so
one who speaks against someone greater than himself. Alternatively: If Miriam, whose words were heard by no one other than the Holy One, Blessed is He, as it is written, “And HASHEM heard” (Bamidbar 12:2), was punished [so severely] then how much more so one
who speaks disparagingly of his fellow in public.
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Ramban comments: “[With this verse,] we are commanded to make known [the episode of Miriam] to our offspring and to relate it to future generations. It would have been fitting to conceal this episode so as not to speak the disgrace of the righteous; nevertheless,
Scripture commands that we make it known and revealed, so that we be well versed in the prohibition of forbidden speech, which is a great sin and brings about many bad happenings, yet is transgressed frequently.’’ |
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Register Now for Our Next Yom Yerushalayim Sovereignty Tour on Mon. June 3rd
Our?Next Sovereignty Tour in Honor of?Yom Yerushalayim?will be on?Monday, June 3rdSovereignty & Governance Throughout the Land?
Our next Hebrew SOVEREIGNTY Tour will please G-d take place?on Monday, June 3rd
Dear Friends,
Join us for a tour in honor of Yom Yerushalayim.
All details are on the attached flyer or can be viewed at?
The tour is in Hebrew.
Yehudit Katsover and Nadia Matar
The Sovereignty Movement
8:30 am Departure from Teddy Stadium?Parking lot, near Malcha
4:30 pm Estimated Return to Teddy Stadium? For more details, please see the attached flyer.?
Cost: 150 NIS?We suggest you register today because limited space is available.?You can register by sending a WhatsApp message to Renee at 054-710-3240 and/or by paying online at:??-----------
Please bring food, drinks, a hat, and walking shoes
For details: Yehudit Katsover 050-7161818 ? Nadia Matar 050-5500834
Cost: ? 150 ? To Register: Renee 054-7103240 ? email: ribonut@...
Since there is a lot of interest in this Tiyul, to reserve your place please register & pay online at:??and please send a WhatsApp to Renee at 054-7103240?or an Email to ribonut@... with your full name, cellphone # & email address.
Cancellations less than 72 hours before departure will be charged in full.The Sovereignty tour is limited to the first 50 registrants.?Looking forward to seeing you,
Yehudit Katsover and Nadia Matar
The Sovereignty Movement
?Please visit our website at?
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Hi, I'm looking for a clothing Gamach, mainly with good dresses. Any leads will be appreciated.? Thanks, Sara
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 43: Preconditions
????????????
The fact that a situation falls under one of the previously listed categories does not necessarily mean that discussing it constitutes constructive speech.? No less than 7 conditions must be met before a critical statement about
an individual may be said.
?
Condition #1: The first set of conditions deals with verification of facts. It is absolutely forbidden to make any critical statement about a person on the basis of information obtained through hearsay.? Only through first-hand information may one assume that
a Jew’s character or behavior is wanting.? An exception would be where one seeks to protect someone from potential harm; such instances would permit one to pass on second-hand information.? This will be discussed later.
?
Condition #2: Even if one has witnessed seemingly unacceptable behavior, he must not hastily pass judgement on what has occurred.? An incident taken out of context can be terribly misleading, both as a reflection on an individual’s character as well as in determining
who is right in a dispute between parties.? Circumstances must be carefully investigated before one can be sure that he understands a situation correctly.? Above all, before concluding that a person has, in fact, transgressed Jewish law, one must be knowledgeable
of the relevant halachos.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Poverty
?
Above, we discussed the question of how it is that in our day those who habitually speak loshon hora are not afflicted with tzaraas. Another answer to this is found in Sefer Davar Kedushah, who cites Sefer HaKaneh:
?
The sufferings of poverty take the place of tzaraas, for by being dependent upon others for survival, the poor man becomes rid of any arrogance — a prime cause of loshon hora.1 Moreover, the poor man is actually afraid to speak disparagingly of others, lest
they learn of his remarks and cease to assist him.
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Tikkunei Zohar, as well, states that this sin can lead to poverty. Therefore, one who seeks to avoid material strain should be zealous in shmiras haloshon.
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