We have scotched the snake not
killed it
(McBeth, Shakespeare)
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Well, I don't know if you've ever
been up country in Uganda in the rainy season.?
I was there with a hefty six-footer, Tubby Wogglespoon, and a heck of a
nice girl she was.? She was out
there.? She had a veranda.
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Luckily it wasn't fatal, but she
had this ranch there were she had been planting copra, which is rather funny
because it was a cocoa ranch.? And it was
right that she hadn't made much money at it.
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And I was there with her and we
were having a sundowner outside.? And
while we were drinking there suddenly came this sound, a sort of a
"pssss."
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And I froze. I knew what it
was.? She hadn't been out there as long
as I had.? I'd been out there for nearly
ten minutes. And I knew that this was this snake, the green spangled titterbub,
which is one of the most poisonous snakes in the whole of Africa. They say that
one bite and death is instantaneous.? And
in some cases even sooner.
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I said, "Don't move. Don't
move."
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And when I looked the thing was
about a foot from my face.? About two
inches from my nose; but a foot from my face.?
Horrible
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I said to her, "Don't
move." Because I knew what to do.
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I said, "The way you get rid
of these is you get a forked stick and you toss them away from you."
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Well, I had a forked stick on me;
I always carry a forked stick with me; it's to get the onions out of a jar of
pickles. And I got this forked stick and I hooked it round the green spangled
titterbub and threw it away.
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And there was a splash as it
landed and there was silence.
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And I looked at Tubby and, by
God, she'd gone white under the tan.? And
we drank another sundowner and I thought it gone gone and all of a sudden we
heard this noise again and it was slightly different. Instead of going
"pssss," it went "Pssss. Hick. Pssss. Hick."
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And I realized what I'd
done.? I'd thrown this snake into the
open vat of whiskey which was outside.
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So I said, "You know what we
have done?? We have scotched the snake
not killed it."
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Denis Norden 580528b
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