A Carpenter's known by his chips
(Swift)
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My story starts in a lonely, rather deserted street in a
town not a thousand miles from Piccadilly Circus.? Wandsworth actually.? It's a borough isn't it, not a town, but
never mind.
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There were two fried fish shops in this street.? Follow me very carefully here.?? One was run by a chap called Charlie
Holmes.? And these fish shops were in
deadly rivalry
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And Charlie Holmes suddenly got all the trade because he'd
put a big neon sign outside his fish shop saying, "There's no place like
Holmes's"
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And he got all the trade.?
And this other chap, old Alf Carpenter, he was absolutely furious at
this, so he said to his staff.? He only
had one staff because they were very small shops, and his staff was the batter
man, a chap called Gunga Din.
?
He said to Gunga Din, "Now if you can think of a slogan
for my shop that will get all the trade back and I'll make you the
chipper."
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Now although Holmes's place was undoubtedly very good, Old
Alf was a very good buyer of spuds.
And he really did you a very crisp chip
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And actually that was the idea that gave Gunga Din the
slogan that now Carpenter, of course, sought out, now has all the trade,
because there's now a big neon sign outside his shop that says, "A
Carpenter is known by his chips."
?
Frank Muir 580625a
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