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Why You Shouldn't Room With James Taylor

By Jenn Knott

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Your last roommate left hair everywhere, but James Taylor leaves guitar picks.

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James Taylor is always saying he's your handyman, but when you ask if he'll unclog the toilet he says he can only fix broken hearts.

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When you confront him about his late rent check, he insists that his manager was supposed to send it.

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Deep greens and blues are not the colors you choose, but he's painted your entire apartment in a mind-bending swirl of them anyway.

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You wanted to decorate the mantel with tasteful dried flowers and candles, but James insists that's where all six of his Grammys go.

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He's always bragging about his Starbucks CD and asking if you've ever released something that can be purchased with your morning Frappuccino. When you tell him that no one drinks a Frappuccino in the morning, he just rolls his eyes.

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Your parents now visit you constantly ... but only after asking if James Taylor will be there.

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You've never known anyone who owned so much denim. Somehow his dark-indigo laundry always sneaks into your load of whites.

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You're sick of his annoying friend Jackson Browne coming over for a beer, because it's never just a beer - it's Jackson and James getting into an endless argument about who's sold more albums, and then Jackson crashing on your couch until noon.

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You can't listen to him quote the Time cover story from 1971 that refers to his "Heathcliffian inner fire" even one more time.

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When you're in the shower, James Taylor pokes his head in and yells, "Shower the people you love with love!," and then laughs maniacally.

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When you watch Peter Jackson's eight-hour Beatles documentary, "Get Back," James interrupts every five minutes, saying, "Hey, I know those cats!"

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He insists that you sing "Sweet Baby James" to him as a lullaby. While it's a beautiful song, James is not a baby but a seventy-four-year-old man who could probably afford his own place by now.

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If it rains and you build a fire in the fireplace, James Taylor smugly goes, "I've seen both of those before."

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He's started writing songs for his new album which are obviously about you even though he denies it, including "Sun's Shining (and the Dishwasher Don't Unload Itself)" and "God Damn, Never Heard a Woman Snore So Loud."

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One morning, after James has spent a raucous evening with Jackson, you wake to find his room cleaned out and both singer-songwriters gone. On the mantel, you discover a hastily scribbled note that says, "Decided to move back to North Carolina. Left a Grammy to cover next month's rent. Sorry 'bout turning all your shirts blue. Best of luck, J.T. (& J.B.)"

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He's just too folksy.

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The New Yorker, August 15, 2022

Both Carey and Ford left Universal around the same time, and neither seemed to regret abandoning the Laemmle operation, a family-run organization in the worst tradition. One day Carl Laemmle was about to run a recently completed Ford picture when his adolescent son, Carl Jr., already known throughout the movie business as Junior, came in with his pet monkey on his shoulder. The senior Laemmle said he wanted his son to see the movie. Ford said he had no objection, but he refused to screen a movie for a monkey.

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The monkey properly disposed of, the screening went ahead. When the lights came up, Laemmle asked his son what he thought of the picture. "I think it stinks," he said, whereupon Ford stood up and said, "Throw out the kid and bring back the monkey."

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Scott Eyman "Print the Legend: The Life and Times of John Ford" (1999)

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Cognition and how people think is one of my favorite subjects. I'm fascinated by how my thought processes are different when compared to other people's. I love working my mind to figure things out and solve problems because I am a pure techie nerd. Some people share my fascination, while others are fascinated by the emotional/social part of thinking and functioning. There are four research centers in the U.S. that have done the most important work on how autistic brains differ from normal ones. They are Dr. Eric Courchesne's group in San Diego, Dr. Nancy Minshew and her colleagues at the University of Pittsburgh, Dr. Manuel Casanova at the University of Louisville, and the University of Utah group.

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There is probably no black-and-white dividing line between a normal brain and the brains of people on the milder end of the autism spectrum. All brains are comprised of grey matter, analogous to integrated circuits that process information, and white matter that connects the processor units together. Half the brain by weight is white matter "computer cables" that connect different regions of the brain together. In the normal human brain, every region of the brain has cables that converge on the frontal cortex. This allows seamless merging of emotions with information stored in different regions. Dr. Minshew explains that in autism the "cables" that connect feelings to information may be either absent or underdeveloped.

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Visualization of Brain Organization

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For me to conceptualize how the brain works, I have to use photo-realistic images. Unless I have a photo-realistic picture, it is impossible for me to think. After reading copious numbers of brilliant research papers, I have summarized them by making a pictorial image about brain functioning. I picture the frontal cortex as the CEO of a big corporate office tower. Every office in the building is connected to him. Brains are highly variable. They can range from one with a highly connected CEO who oversees everything that goes on in the building to a CEO with weak connections who lets the different departments do what they want. To put it in computer network terms, the brain is a massively interconnected system.

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Researchers refer to disorders In the frontal cortex as "executive function" problems, impairing an individual's ability to process and organize information, create plans and sequences and be flexible in their execution, to self-regulate responses, and achieve goals. Two major factors determine how the brain network will function. They are the long distance white matter "computer cables" that interconnect the different brain departments and smaller local cables that interconnect within a department or between nearby departments. Both Nancy Minshew and Eric Courchesne have done numerous brain scan studies that support this model. In autism, there are fewer long distance white matter connections and more local connections. The different brain departments are less interconnected than in a normal brain. As autism gets more severe, the long distance connections between departments located farther away from each other become poorer.

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Manuel Casanova's work has shown that the grey matter processor circuits are also affected. The brain's basic processor circuit is called a minicolumn. In people with autism, the minicolumns are smaller. He did some interesting research that showed that the brains of deceased three scientists also had smaller minicolumns, similar to a brain from a person with autism. A brain with small minicolumns has more processors per square inch, and it will be more efficient at processing detailed information.

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Cotnitive versus Social Brain

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Small minicolumns are connected to white matter cables that wire up local "inter-office" communication. Larger minicolumns are connected to big, white matter cables that can connect to far-flung offices on different floors of the building. A brain can be wired to either excel at social interactions with high speed connections to the emotion centers, the CEO, and the heads of departments, or it can be wired to favor the techies in the math or graph1cs department. In the brain favoring local connections, there would be massive cables draped over the tops of a small group of cubicles to wire together computers that are stacked to the ceiling. This would provide the techies with the computers they would need to do really cool graphics or math savant skills.

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Thus, one type of brain network is wired to handle high speed social information lacking detail and the other is wired to concentrate on the details. We need detail-oriented people in this world or there would be no eletricity, cars, or computers, or beautiful works of music. Detail-oriented engineers make sure the lights stay on and the bridges do not fall down.

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People on the spectrum tend to have uneven skills. The local departments in the office building are not wired up evenly because there is a shortage of good computer cables. One department gets wired really well to create ability in art and another department just gets a single phone line. I am a pure techie and having a good career gives my life meaning. I've learned to make the most of the way my brain is hard-wired and I don't feel remorse over missing cables into the social parts of my brain. Yet there are other people on the spectrum who have a few more emotional circuits connected than do I, and they get frustrated and depressed over their poor ability to relate at a social level. Everyone in life has a different set of strengths and challenges within a unique personality. Using a popular analogy, some people see the glass half-empty and are pessimists; others see the glass half-full and are optimists. It's no different among people with autism and Asperger's; we still share common personality traits aside from the different ways our brains are wired. Not all the "problems" within autism arise from the autism. Some arise just because of who we are and the personality we each have.

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Michelle Dawson, a woman with autism, has teamed up with Laurent Mottron, at the University of Montreal, with research results hat clearly show that the intelligence of people with autism has been underestimated. Normal children tested with the WISC (or Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children) but not "Wisc" and the Ravens Progressive Matrices will get similar scores on both tests. Autistic children given both tests will get much higher scores on the Ravens, an average of thirty percentile points higher, The Ravens tests the ability to see differences and similarities in a series of abstract patterns.

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Nonverbal Autism

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Both nonverbal people and fully verbal individuals with very severe sensory perceptual problems report similar experiences. Perception is fragmented or they may see colors with no clear shapes. Sometimes they report that images break up into pieces like a mosaic. In the visual system, there are separate circuits for color, shape, and motion that must work together to form images. It is likely that in very severe autism, even some of the local circuits are not fully connected. Problems in the white matter circuits that interconnect the thinking and movement parts of the brain may explain why some individuals with autism describe themselves as having a thinking self and an acting self that can't always coordinate together.

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Nancy Minshew and her colleagues state that in severe autism, there is a huge lack of functional connections between the primary sensory cortex and the association areas. To use my office building analogy, low level employees are able to receive information from outside the building on phones or computers, but they are either not connected or poorly connected to relay that information to many different departments. Teachers and caregivers of individuals with very severe autism often report that the person has some areas of real intelligence even though they are constantly flapping. These brains may be like an entire office building where more of the interdepartmental and outside network connections are not functioning, but off in one corner are a few cubicles of normal employees with one static-filled unreliable mobile phone line to the outside world.

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Over the years I have observed that people on the more severe end of the spectrum are often more normal in their emotional/social processing. This can be seen in the writings of Tiro Mukhopadhyay and others who can type independently and describe their inner world. To use my office building analogy, there are a few employees over m the more emotional and social parts of the office building, in the human service and sales departments, that still have phone lines intact and functioning. However, everything in the techie department is broken.

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This idea of interconnectivity problems among the different brain departments explains why the autism spectrum is so variable and no two individuals are the same in their functioning and understanding. It all depends on where the few good computer cables hook up. Courchesne's work shows that there is an early abnormal overgrowth of white matter in autism. As the severity of autism increases, the white matter overgrowth increases. This may leave fewer good computer cables to form long distance connections between departments, and those connections are necessary for the office as a whole to function efficiently and collect information from all sources.

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Temple Grandin "The Way I See It: A Personal Look at Autism & Asperger's" (2011)

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Cubby Broccoli Talks Bras With Howard Hughes

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7000 Romaine Street,

Los Angeles

Spring 1940

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In April 1983, Cubby Broccoli appears before a Supreme Court investigation into the affairs of the late Howard Hughes.

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'Did you have occasion to meet Mr Hughes on a movie set?'

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'Yes.'

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'What was your first job?'

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'My first job was to take a very lovely young lady on a train up to Flagstaff, Arizona.'

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'Was that Jane Russell?'

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'Yes.'

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At this point, as Broccoli remembers it, 'there was a bit of a stir among the listeners which may have been env.'

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The son of a vegetable farmer, Albert Romolo Broccoli took jobs in his cousin's Long Island Casket Company, as a salesman with the Paris Beauty Parlor Supply Company, and cleaning jewellery in Beverly Hills before joining Twentieth Century-Fox as a gofer.

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(His grandfather Pasquale Broccoli arrives in New York from Calabria with only a packet of broccoli seeds. Other immigrants to America have tried planting broccoli, but with little success. But the Broccolis' broccoli - from the family de Cicco strain, which sells for $16 an ounce - proves triumphant. The family goes on to grow many other types of vegetable - spinach, carrots, radishes, cucumbers - but broccoli remains their pride and joy.)

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In the spring of 1940, Howard Hawks takes him on as his assistant on the film The Outlaw, produced by his old rival Howard Hughes. The male leads have already been cast, but not the female. Hughes takes responsibility for casting. 'It was the general consensus at the time that Hughes was "a bosom man;" Broccoli recalls.

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Hawks shows Broccoli a photograph of Ernestine Jane Geraldine Russell, who is at present employed as a receptionist to a chiropodist. She is tall and beautiful, with a thirty-eight-inch chest. Hawks asks Broccoli what he thinks of her. 'I think she's terrific: he replies.

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Hughes thinks the same, and hires Jane Russell at $50 a week. To Broccoli's delight, the night before she sets off on her long train journey to Flagstaff, Arizona, Hughes asks him to escort her.

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'I'd appreciate it if you'd see to it that she gets everything she needs on the journey: he adds. 'Sure, Howard.'

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'Oh ... and Cubby .. .'

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'Yes?'

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'Keep all the characters away from her.'

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After two weeks' filming, Hughes declares himself dissatisfied with the early rushes: there are no clouds in the sky. He tells Hawks that he wants clouds, 'even if you have to wait for a little while.'

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Hawks is impatient - he has a commitment to start directing his next film - and furious. 'You evidently don't like what I'm doing. Why don't you take over the picture?' he says, and walks out.

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This rather suits Hughes, who has always been eager to take over the directing. But where Hawks was empathetic and instinctive, Hughes is distant and perfectionist. One scene alone requires 103 takes. The production, scheduled to last six to eight weeks, ends up taking nine months. Now promoted to Howard Hughes's assistant, Cubby Broccoli can't help noticing how much time the director takes studying Jane Russell's figure. 'His big preoccupation was how to get the maximum impact from Jane Russell's breasts.' It is almost as though he were treating them as stars in their own right. 'We're not getting enough production out of Jane's breasts!' Hughes barks at his cinematographer.

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In one scene, Jane Russell is tied between two trees with leather thongs, and writhes around as though trying to escape. Hughes studies her through his viewfinder, and frowns. He summons Broccoli and complains that her brassiere is giving her breasts an artificial look: as she twists about, its outline is clearly visible beneath her blouse. But Jane refuses to go braless; she is not that sort of girl.

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Hughes won't let the matter go. 'This is really just a very simple engineering problem,' he tells Broccoli. He retires to his drawing board, suspending production while he redesigns Miss Russell's brassiere." 'What he was trying to do was to get a smooth look, a no-bra look; remembers Russell. 'And as usual, Howard was right. He was way ahead of his time.'

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(He is meant to be designing a top-secret medium-range bomber capable of flying at 450 miles an hour for the US Air Force, but this has to take a back seat to Miss Russell's breasts.)

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Hughes comes up with a cantilevered under-wired bra, with rods of curved structural steel connected to the shoulder straps and sewn into the brassiere below each breast. It allows for virtually any amount of Jane Russell's generous bosom to be freely exposed; but when she tries it on, she finds it far too uncomfortable. 'I never wore his bra, and believe me, he could design planes, but a Mr Playtex he wasn't. Oh, I suppose given several years and a willing model he would have conquered the problem, but fortunately he had a picture to worry about.'

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Russell hides her new bra behind her bed, puts her old one back on, covers the seams with Kleenex tissues, and pulls the straps over to the side. This crafty dodge worries her poor wardrobe mistress. 'What if we get fired?' she says.

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'Nobody's going to tell,' replies Russell, putting her blouse back on. Russell is tied back to the trees and given the signal to start struggling.

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Hughes spends a very long time looking through his viewfinder before saying, 'OK.' The shoot recommences, and Hughes is delighted with the result.

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But the story does not end there. When the Hollywood censor sees the finished film, he is enraged. 'The girl's breasts, which are quite large and prominent, are shockingly uncovered,' he complains, recommending 108 separate cuts.

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Hughes takes the matter to appeal. A master of publicity, he employs a Columbia University mathematician. With the aid of calipers, this expert goes along a line of blown-up photographs of leading actresses - Betty Grable, Rita Hayworth, Jean Harlow, Norma Shearer - measuring the average percentage of bust displayed, then comparing it with the percentage of Jane Russell's bust on view, eventually finding in favor of Jane Russell. The censorship board is won round, and agrees to just three cuts. Three years after the film started production, it is premiered in San Francisco, by which time Jane Russell is already one of the most famous actresses in America. 'The Picture That Couldn't be Stopped,' reads one billboard, adding, 'Sex Has Not Been Rationed'. Other advertisements include a billboard asking, 'What Are the Two Great Reasons for Russell's Success?' and a skywriting plane flying above Pasadena, leaving behind it the words 'THE OUTLAW;' along with two giant circles, each with a dot in the centre.

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'It was all fun in those days,' reminisces Broccoli, half a century on.

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(A later film Jane Russell makes with Howard Hughes, a 3D Technicolor musical called The French Line, is promoted with the slogans 'J.R. in 3- D. It'll knock BOTH your eyes out!' and 'Jane Russell in 3 Dimensions - and what dimensions!' The Archbishop of St Louis, where the film is premiered in 1953, issues a warning to his parishioners. 'Dearly beloved, since no Catholic can with a clear conscience attend such an immoral movie, we feel it our solemn duty to forbid our Catholic people under penalty of mortal sin to attend this presentation.' The Archbishop does not realize that this is exactly the reason Hughes chose to premiere the film in St Louis, with its 65 per cent Roman Catholic population.

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Craig Brown "Hello Goodbye Hello" (2011)

Your eyes are the eyes of a woman in love

(Words and Music: Frank Loesser, Sung in the film version of 'Guys and Dolls')

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When the Thorpe Players Amateur Dramatic Society (Hon. President and co-Founder F. Muir) reached its thirtieth birthday, the members decided to celebrate by staging an ambitious musical-comedy. It was the time that the National Theatre had put on a stunning production of Guys and Dolls and thus legitimized musical shows as perfectly respectable fodder for serious amateur societies, whose idea of a frivolous birthday production up to then had been to do King Lear in seventeenth-century dress.

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Fired by the enthusiasm of the Thorpe Players, I promised to write them a musical comedy. Not a show based upon a short story as was Guys and Dolls but a wholly original concept, a treat for the ear and the eye devised, created, conceived and written by me.

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I am going to call it Guy and Doll.

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A wonderful title, you must admit, which came to me out of nowhere one night in bed as I lay sleepless after two helpings of take-away Mexican lasagna in a cheese and onion sauce.

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The Guy in question is an English naval officer on secret service in France during the Napoleonic Wars. His full name is Lieutenant Guy Woode-Wynde. Woode-Wynde is a somewhat quieter version of his uncle, who is the British Admiral, Hornblower. The Doll whom Guy falls in love with at the end of Act One is Doll Duvet, a continental version of Shakespeare's Doll Tearsheet, that is to say plumper and warmer.

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The plot - which will be laid down in Act One, scene one, in a dialogue between Admiral Hornblower and his comical bo'sun - is that the British navy is beseiging the port of Le Havre in order to make it surrender. Horrific tales are coming out of Le Havre of the shortage of food and the French inhabitants starving and being forced to eat things like shepherd's pie and high-fiber muesli.

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But Hornblower is cautious. Before attacking Le Havre he sends a signal to his young nephew ashore, Guy the Spy, saying 'How hungry is Le Havre? Please reply as briefly as possible as the Admiralty is cutting down on expensive signals and I have now only a small allowance per war. And I would be most grateful if, in your travels, you could get hold of some of that Normandy cheese that I like, not the kind wrapped in leaves but the sort which has the picture of a grinning cow on the label. Your aunt's leg is better and she is thinking of getting rid of her chrysanthemums - such a bore the rest of the year - and going flat out on azaleas. I counseled caution but she is so headstrong, God bless her little secateurs. Well, cheerio for now and don't do anything I wouldn't do, ha-ha! Uncle Horatio.'

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Scene two is set in the Latin quarter of Le Havre (red lights are shining over squalid doorways reeking of vice. And, of course, over dentists). Guy enters disguised as a non-combatant, an American on the Grand Tour. (You can tell because he wears tartan cotton trousers and looks exasperated.) From out of a doorway marked 'Sailors' Mission' comes a huge, beautiful young woman.

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'Oiiiiiiii!' she bellows in a lovely voice which carries over most of sleepy Le Havre. 'Oiiiiiiii! All you young sailor boys! Come and get eet! I got 'ere what you want, eh? Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Ze mission she is open for ze night - all night!'

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It is Doll Duvet, chucker-in at the Sailors' Rest Mission. The disguised Guy, duty bound, enters the Mission to see what supplies they have managed to get past the English naval blockade. Do they buy food from foreign sailors? Guy casually asks Doll whether the Mission is open to sailors of all nations.

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'Oui,' says Dol, 'Always we got plenny Scandinavians.' And she goes into the show's first musical number:

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I gotta Norse right here,

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The name is Paul Revere

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Guy realizes that he is fascinated by every aspect of this enormous lady, from her fine chins to her petite, beclogged feet. He feels he might be falling in love with her but if so would it be a case of too much, too early?

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On impulse he offers her a lump of the cheese with the grinning cow on the label which his uncle Horatio asked him to get.

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'Zat processed muck!' said Doll bridling. 'Zank you, non! You see, my charming friend - I 'ave my pride.'

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'Mother's Pride?' cried Guy. Here was potential trouble. It meant that the siege was being broken by unscrupulous English supermarkets floating their cut and wrapped loaves across the channel.

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'Non,' said Doll. 'I do not like ze English plastic foam. I like ze French country bread. Like a crisp, golden cow-pat. And when you guillotine it into slices ze bits of crust ricochet off the walls like bullets. Listen, mon ami - ' she lowers her voice into a whisper. 'Demain - tomorrow - ma tante, she smuggle me a fresh loaf baked in ze communal oven in ze poor but proud leetle village of Verneuille-des-trois-eglises-entre-les-deux-lacs-en-haut-de-Bugey-sur-Epiney.'

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'But surely,' Guy mumbles, 'Chewing a piece of grinning cow cheese now won't do you any harm?'

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'Patience, dearest,' says Doll, taking his tiny hand in her vast fist and looking deeply into his eyes, 'Leave us not rush destiny.'

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And she begins to sing her second number:

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'I'll gnaw when my loaf comes along . . .'

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While she is singing, Guy writes out his dispatch with his other hand, reporting that the Le Havre populace is coping well in spite of a worrying lack of stewing steak and glace cherries for the gin-and-Its.

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As Doll finishes her song there is a disturbance. Three Chinese seamen have set fire to a small chair and are balancing on the flames a domed metal dish. All three are busily cutting up a riding-boot and stirring the pieces of leather about in the bowl.

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Guy realizes that he must get away from this temptress or he will forever rest a captive in the fiefdom of her heart.

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'My love, you have not eaten,' cries Doll. 'Dinner will be served soon.'

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'Must go!' cries Guy, thickly, leaping to his feet.

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'No, you mustn't!' cries Doll, pointing dramatically to the Chinese and breaking into her third song, a lively spiritual:

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'Sit down, they're wok-ing the boot . . .'

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The action gets v. exciting at this point. A messenger rushes in to announce that Nelson has won the battle of Trafalgar Square, a signal is flying above the square which reads 'England expects that every man will do his washing' and the War is over. There is dancing and singing in the streets. Guy and Doll are separated. Guy stumbles around trying to find Doll in the crowds of revellers but only hears her in the distance calling to him: 'Oiiiii! 0iiiiiiiiiiiii!!'

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The last act shows Guy twenty years later, now stinking rich, having won the concession to import French cheese with a picture of a grinning cow on it into Britain. He has hardly ever married, just a couple or so times, because his heart has always belonged to Doll.

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At the age of sixty he decides to make one last effort to find his Doll and books himself a voyage round the world in a balloon left over from a Jules Verne story. A grand ceremony is planned in Portsmouth for the balloon's take-off. The Mayor of Portsmouth has decorated the balloon with signal flags which he has rented out to Guy for a large sum of money. But a sudden sea-mist descends and take-off is postponed until the morning.

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Guy wanders into town to while away the evening. He is strolling through the port area, the mist getting thicker and swirling round him, when he hears in the distance 'Oiiiii, Oiiiiiii'. 'Tis my Doll!' he cries, sprinting in the direction of the beloved voice. He falls into the water quite a few times but as he gets closer to her the cry gets louder and louder until - 'Offiiiiiiiii! 0iiiiiiiiiiiiiii. - and there she is, a massive silhouette in the mist.

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'Doll!' he cries, clasping her to him and slipping a ring upon her finger.

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'But,? cher Guy, it is dark - and the mist - you can't see - how do you know it is me after all these years?'

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And the show ends on the big waltz number, this time sung by Guy. 'How do I know it is you?' cries Guy, leading her down to the footlights. 'Because, my dear . . .'

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'Your oiiiiiiiiis are the oiiiiiiiiis of a woman in Le Havre ...'

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Frank Muir, "You Have My Word" (1989)

I use spray sunscreens all summer because they're so easy to put on. But are they as good as lotions?

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There are many things to love about spray sunscreens. But if you think just a few haphazard spritzes will provide adequate protection against the sun's harmful rays, think again, dermatologists say.

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Spray sunscreens are popular because they're so easy to use, said Dr. Jean Charles, a dermatologist in Cedar Park, Texas. Spraying lets you target large swaths of the body, including hard-to-reach spots like your back.

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Sprays tend to be lighter, less "sticky, oily and heavy," and less likely to leave a white residue than lotions, said Dr. David Kim, a cosmetic dermatologist at Idriss Dermatology in New York City. However, sometimes it's difficult to tell if the sunscreen is evenly distributed, said Dr. Maral Kibarian Skelsey, a clinical associate professor of dermatology at Georgetown University Medical School. When you apply it on a windy day, more might float into the air than onto your body. "There's always a risk that you are going to miss spots," Dr. Charles said. With lotions, you can see where it's going.

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According to the American Academy of Dermatology, you need about an ounce of sunscreen to cover your entire body. This amount can be hard to gauge with a spray, so the academy recommends holding the nozzle about an inch from your body and spraying until your skin glistens.

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The most important step is to rub in the sunscreen after applying it. If you don't, the skin may not be evenly covered, Dr. Kim said. "I've seen people on the beach just spray it and that's it."

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Many popular products also contain flammable gases like propane, butane or isobutane, which propel the sunscreen onto your skin and could pose a burn hazard if applied or worn while smoking or near an open flame.

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Some spray sunscreens also contain alcohol, which can irritate and dry out the skin, Dr. Charles said.

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Spray sunscreens have the same active ingredients as lotions, Dr. Skelsey said, so they should be just as protective as lotions - if used correctly. If you have sensitive skin, Dr. Skelsey recommended mineral-based spray or lotion sunscreens with zinc oxide or titanium dioxide as their active ingredients; they're less likely to cause irritation or allergic reactions. And note that a more expensive, high-end or luxury product is not necessarily better than a cheaper one, she said. "You can get a very good sunscreen at a drugstore."

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Another option: Spray it onto your hands and smear it over your body. Then, reapply it as you would any sunscreen, every two hours - or more frequently if you're swimming or sweating.

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Be careful not to inhale spray sunscreen; the A.A.D. suggests applying it to your hands first and then rubbing it onto your face. And the Food and Drug Administration recommends not leaving sunscreen in direct sunlight because it can reduce its effectiveness. Instead, keep the containers = in the shade or wrapped in a towel.

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"The best sunscreen is the one that you will actually use," Dr. Kim said, so choose any type of product you like. If that's a spray sunscreen, "go for it," he said.

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However, all of the experts said they typically recommend lotion over sprays, since most people tend to apply spray sunscreens incorrectly. But that doesn't mean sprays aren't effective, they said.

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"I don't think-one's necessarily better than the other," Dr. Charles added, "as long as it's being rubbed in and the application is even."

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Erica Sweeney

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Researchers find flipped coins have what's called same side bias. They flipped coins in 46 currencies 350,000 times, and registered that 51% of the time the coins landed on the side they started on.

Smith was broke, but in 1920, the family was fairly prosperous.

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Hollywood Boulevard was called Pepper Tree Lane when Mary Smith arrived. She found the town of Hollywood "beautiful and generous ... We only had one restaurant, and that was called The Oasis, and you could tell who was working because that was who the maitre d' would bring the check to at dinner."

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Scott Eyman "Print the Legend: The Life and Times of John Ford" (1999)

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Many children and people with autism are not able to take all the facts they know and link them together to form concepts. What has worked for me is to use my visual thinking to form concepts and categories. Explaining how I do this may help parents and professionals teach children with autism how to form concepts and generalizations.

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When I was a little child, I knew that cats and dogs were different because dogs were bigger than cats. When the neighbors bought a little Dachshund, I could no longer categorize dogs by size. Rosie the Dachshund was the same size as a cat. I can remember looking intently at Rosie to find some visual characteristic that both our Golden Retriever and Rosie had in common. I noticed that all dogs, regardless of size, had the same kind of nose. Therefore, dogs could be placed in a separate category from cats because there are certain physical features that every dog has that no cat has.

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Categorizing things can be taught. Little kindergarten children learn to categories all the red objects or all the square objects. Irene Pepperberg, a scientist at the University of Arizona, taught her parrot, Alex, to differentiate and identify objects by color and shape. He could pick out all the red square blocks from a tray containing red balls, blue square blocks, and red blocks. He understood categorization of objects by color, shape, and size. Teaching children and adults with autism to categorize and form concepts starts first with teaching simple categories such as color and shape. From this, we can help them understand that certain facts they have memorized can be placed in one category and other facts can be placed in another category.

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Teaching Concepts Such as Danger

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Many parents have asked me, "How do I teach my child not to run into the street?" or "He knows not to run into the street at our house, but at Grandma's he runs into the street." In the first situation, the child actually has no concept of danger at all; in the second, he is not able to generalize what he has learned at home to a new house and street.

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Danger as a concept is too abstract for the mind of a person who thinks in pictures. I did not understand that being hit by a car would be dangerous until I saw a squashed squirrel in the road and my nanny told me that it had been run over by a car. Unlike the cartoon characters on TV, the squirrel did not survive. I then understood the cause and effect of being run over.

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After the squirrel incident, how did I learn that all cars on all streets are dangerous? It is just like learning concepts like the color red or square versus round. I had to learn that no matter where I was located, all cars and all streets had certain common features. When I was a child, safety concepts were drilled into my head with a book of safety songs. I sang about always looking both ways before crossing a street to make sure a car was not coming. To help me generalize, my nanny took my sister and me for walks around the neighborhood. On many different streets she had me look both ways before crossing. This is the same way that guide dogs for the blind are trained. The dog must be able to recognize stoplights, intersections, and streets in a strange place. During training, he is taken to many different streets. He then has visual, auditory, and olfactory (scent) memories of many different streets. From these memories, the dog is able to recognize a street in a strange place.

For either the guide dog or the person with autism to understand the concept of street, they have to see more than one street. Autistic thinking is specific to general. To learn a concept of dog or street, I had to see many specific dogs or streets before the general concept could be formed. A general concept such as street without pictures of many specific streets stored in my memory bank is absolutely meaningless.

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Autistic thinking is always detailed and specific. Teachers and parents need to help both children and adults with autism take all the little details they have in their head and put them into categories to form concepts and promote generalization.

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Temple Grandin "The Way I See It: A Personal Look at Autism & Asperger's" (2011)

Cubby Broccoli Shares A Barber With George Lazenby

Kurt's of Mayfair,

London WI

November 1965

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While Cubby Broccoli, now the producer of the James Bond films, is having his hair cut at Kurt's of Mayfair, he is struck by the occupant of the next chair, 'this handsome character with a strong jaw, great physique and a lot of self-assurance'. It crosses his mind that he might make a good Bond, but he imagines that anyone having his hair cut at such an expensive barber's must be a wealthy businessman. And anyway, the position is already filled.

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In fact, the person in the next chair can't really afford to be there at all.

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He is a male model, born in Goulburn, Australia, the son of the greenskeeper at a bowls club. George Lazenby arrived in England last year and worked as a used-car salesman before drifting into modeling. He has had some success in his new career, modeling clothes and shampoo and fronting an advertising campaign for High Speed Gas. His most noticeable role is probably as the hero of the TV advertisement for Fry's chocolate, in which he strides across the screen like a gladiator, bearing a crate of chocolate on his shoulders.

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Lazenby wants to launch himself as an actor, and entertains ambitions to be the next James Bond. To this end, he has been secretly plotting to bump into Broccoli. Having discovered that Broccoli has his hair cut regularly at Kurt's, he duly booked an appointment at the same time.

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When Broccoli returns to his office, he instructs his secretary to call Kurt and find out the name of his suave customer. Broccoli jots down the name George Lazenby, thinking it might come in handy.

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Three years later, Sean Connery decides to stop playing James Bond.

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The quest for a new Bond begins. Three hundred potential James Bonds are interviewed or screen-tested for the role, among them Jeremy Brett, James Brolin, Lord Lucan, Adam West (star of the television Batman) and Peter Snow, later to become famous as the wielder of the election-night Swingometer," (The unknown Timothy Dalton drops out of the running, believing himself, at twenty-one, too young for the part.) Summoned to a meeting with Broccoli, Lazenby wears a Savile Row suit and a Rolex Submariner wristwatch. He is shameless. 'An actor would go into an audition for the role thinking of Connery, but I wasn't an actor. I was so arrogant, I had nothing to lose."

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Broccoli and his co-producer Harry Saltzman watch from their first-floor office as Lazenby crosses the road to their office. They are impressed by his self-assurance, and even more impressed when he darts past the receptionist and bolts upstairs, just like James Bond.

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In his interview, he exudes a winning mix of defiance and indifference.

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When they offer him a screen test, he demands payment, and they agree to it. 'Everyone was impressed by Lazenby. The infallible litmus test was to parade him in front of the office secretaries. Their eyes lit up as he swung past their desks and through to our office. Six foot two inches tall - the same height as Connery - he was a 186-pounder who knew how to. walk tall and put himself over,' says Broccoli.

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Lazenby's cocky persona is not contrived. 'They tested three hundred actors on film and no one had what Connery had, that self-assurance with women, but I certainly did.' I'd been a model, had just hit London in the Swinging Sixties and was having a great time playing around with the girls there. I was always running around with a grin on my face: His cockiness extends to fibbing: he tells the casting director he has already made movies in Russia, Germany and Hong Kong, though he has never acted before.?

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At the screen test, Broccoli asks him to perform a fight sequence with an assassin. In the heat of the moment, Lazenby punches the assassin - a professional wrestler - in the face, thus further impressing Broccoli with his manliness. The role is his. (To date, it is estimated that James Bond has killed more than 150 men and slept with forty-four women, three quarters of whom have tried to kill him.)

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(In the original script, the switch from one James Bond to another is explained by Bond having undergone plastic surgery so as to disguise him from his enemies. In subsequent revisions, this explanation is dropped in favor of no explanation at all.)

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Soon after the filming of On Her Majesty's Secret Service begins, Broccoli's admiration for Lazenby begins to wane. He dislikes the way he is already behaving like a superstar, demanding special treatment and quarrelling with chauffeurs. At one point, his co-star Telly Savalas takes him to one side and advises him to stop being so difficult. By the end, the director, Peter Hunt, will speak to him only through a middle man. As Broccoli watches him lord it over everybody, it occurs to him that Lazenby is sawing off the branch he is sitting on.

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Nevertheless, he is judged to have acquitted himself reasonably well as James Bond, and they offer him $1 million to play the role again. Lazenby demands twice the amount. They turn him down, and he subsequently announces his retirement on The Johnny Carson Show. Both Carson and the audience burst into laughter, assuming he is joking. Watching on television, Broccoli and Saltzman are furious, believing it will cause damage at the box office. Lazenby further infuriates them by making no effort to look like Bond: he is dressed like a hippy, with long hair and a beard.

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Years later, George Lazenby regrets his prima-donna behavior. 'The trouble was I lived Bond out of the studios as well as in. I had to have a Rolls-Royce to go around in, and women just threw themselves at me if I stepped into a nightclub. I couldn't count the parade that passed through my bedroom. I became hot-headed, greedy and big-headed. I got on the bandwagon and said I must be who they say I am and demanded limousines and did the whole bit, which was obnoxious and arrogant and all the things you hate about those people. I got what I deserved and had a long slide down, which was much harder than going up: He blames his decision to abandon Bond on his manager. 'Ronan advised me: "Bond is over, finished, anyway it's Sean Connery's gig and you cannot match that guy. We'll make other movies.' I listened to him. I thought he knew what it was all about, but I was dumb. I missed out on everything."

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Lazenby'S future work as an actor is sporadic. Over the years he has occasional roles on television, among them episodes of Baywatch, Kung Fu and Hawaii Five-D. In the 1990s, he appears in a number of the Emmanuelle movies.

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Craig Brown "Hello Goodbye Hello" (2011)

?Love is a many splendored thing

(movie, song, and book)

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It's a variation of Love is a many splendored thing that greets visitors to our home if they happen to enter what Sir John Pugney called the smallest room.

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I told you that we'd moved recently, didn’t I?? What I didn't mention, because I hadn't yet realized is that the new neighborhood is populated by people who go in for things like organic quiche and Fay Weldon t-shirts and? electric avocado pealers and indoor plants growing out of chinaware at wellington boots.? To say nothing of stir-frying at Scarbo's in a wok.? ?And going to PTA meetings where the kids turn up with three or more parents.

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We have fallen among yuppies.? And I don't mind telling you, it's been quite a job trying to adapt to their ways.

Not simply because I just happen to be allergic to monkfish.? No. It's more than that.? It's just not easy trying to live in what's known as ?the fast lane when the only fast lane you've previously lived in has been the one marked "6 items or less."

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The thing about these type of people is that all their value systems are defined in terms of consumer goods.? Items like jacuzzis and cordless phones and personalized number plates and wooden loo seats and state of the art kitchen equipment. All of which, either cost the absolute earth, or when it did happen to be something within our price range, like the cordless telephone, our dog kept taking it out in the garden and burying it.

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But as for those other yuppie appurtenances, have you any idea what traders are now asking for a number plate that begins "D.N."? It's nearly as much as I paid for the whole car.? But in the end, I achieved the effect for a fraction of the cost by simply hanging on to my present number plate, but changing my name to Joseph Otto Quinlan.?

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It's the same when installing a jacuzzi. What worked out much more economical was just leaving the plumbing as it was, but if ever a neighbor pops round, we just keep dropping entire packets of Alka Seltzer in the bath water.

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Mind you, not all those yuppie accessories can be acquired on the cheap.? Our pasta maker for example.? It really was a mistake to buy that from a reject shop.? Its electrical circuits turned out to be so dodgy we didn't even realize that the off switch didn't work 'till we went out one afternoon and came back to find the whole house under twenty feet of spaghetti.

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But the most damaging exercise in false economy was in the matter of the wooden loo seat. I don't know how recently you've checked out what the shops are asking for those.? Honestly for the same price you could have two weeks in Spain.?

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So I decided to make one of my own.?? Now, admittedly that meant involving myself in carpentry, a craft at which my personal skills could be judged by the little questions I have to keep asking.? Such as "How do you get blood off a saw?"

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But remember the objective was to save money. And that I certainly did.? Because all that wooden loo seat finally cost me was just thirty-five pounds, twenty-eight hours work, and the tip of one index finger.

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Now I grant you it is not perfect.? Due to the fact that I don't possess any kind of lathe or turning tool, the central aperture is square.? That is to say it has four corners rather than being in the customary oval shape.

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And because I was similarly short of a spoke-shave or plane, in fact, any of the tools used to make wood smooth, the seat presents a somewhat rough and jagged surface to oncoming flesh.

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So, all in all, that seat does not make an ideal object for people to park on for any length of time.? In fact, the splinter count is so high, anybody emerging from there can always be recognized by their rather Groucho Marx type walk

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And that is why we have now had to hang up in there a small hand-printed warning which, as I've mentioned, paraphrases a well-known song, film, and book title: Lav is a many splintered thing

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Denis Norden

880912b

download at http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?v3enu1jvwhgbf38

Ask well

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I've heard that drinking coffee first thing in the morning can interfere with my ability to feel awake and lead to an afternoon energy crash. Is that true?

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It's an idea that has been popularized by online influencers: Avoid consuming caffeine for 90 to 120 minutes after waking up, they say, and you will perk up more naturally, thwart the dreaded afternoon slump and have better sleep.

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Proponents explain the idea as if it's supported by good evidence, with some people who have tried the method saying it has "been a game changer" for their energy levels.

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But scientists who study the relationship between caffeine and sleep say that while there may be some benefits to putting off your morning coffee, there's not much research to back them up.

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In some cases, experts warn, the risks of delaying your morning caffeine could outweigh the purported benefits.

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Throughout the day, your body produces a chemical called adenosine, which binds to receptors in your brain and makes you feel drowsy. Caffeine perks you up by blocking those receptors, said Marilyn Cornelis a caffeine re-searcher at the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine.

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But you don't feel the stimulating effects of caffeine immediately after your first sip of coffee, said Michael Grandner, the director of the sleep and health research program at the University of Arizona. It takes about 20 to 30 minutes for caffeine to be absorbed into your bloodstream, reach your brain and make you feel more alert, he said.

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How long caffeine keeps you sharp "varies considerably," based in part on your genetics, Dr. Cornelis said.

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Because adenosine levels in your brain decrease while you sleep, they're at their lowest immediately after you wake up, Dr. Grandner said. So with little adenosine present for caffeine to block, a cup of coffee first thing will give you less of a boost - or "less bang for your buck," as Dr. Grandner said - than when adenosine levels are high.

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This may be one rationale for delaying your caffeine in the morning, Dr. Grandner said. He often waits for 30 to 60 minutes after waking to have his first cup of coffee, but there are no studies on what the optimal timing should be; it's more about personal preference, he said.

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Another potential reason to delay your morning caffeine is if you want to have caffeine only once per day, Dr. Cornelis said Timing it for later in the morning could help extend its effects into the early afternoon, potentially countering any drop in alertness at that time.

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That said, there's no harm in having caffeine first thing, Dr. Grandner said.

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Although some online proponents suggest that doing so will disrupt your body's normal waking process by interfering with the natural rise of cortisol, there is little evidence for this. The few small studies that have examined caffeine's influence on cortisol have found that in those who consume caffeine regularly, it has little effect on morning cortisol levels, said Allison Brager, a neurobiologist for the U.S. Army.

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The reality is that many people don't get enough sleep, so if you need to be alert first thing in the morning, caffeine can be a life-saver, Dr. Brager said.

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If you're an early morning exerciser, she added, it makes sense to have caffeine as soon as possible because it may improve your workout.

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It's also fine to have another cup of coffee (or other source of caffeine) if and when your energy levels wane around midday, Dr. Grandner said. Just avoid having it within six hours - or eight to 12 hours, if you have trouble falling asleep - before bedtime, he added.

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And keep in mind, Dr. Grandner added, that coffee and tea are also great sources of antioxidants and beneficial plant-based compounds, which may explain some of their health advantages. Coffee also helps many people have regular bowel movements. And for most of us, a morning coffee ritual offers a simple source of pleasure. What could be more optimal than that?

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Alice Callahan

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Kyrgyzstan has decided it's time for a change to its flag. Parliament voted on Wednesday to give the sun at the flag's center straighter rays. The change comes after critics said the sun's rays made it look more like a sunflower, which in Kyrgyz culture symbolizes fickleness and servility. Critics fear the design could hurt Kyrgyzstan's credibility. Good thing they straightened that out

On April 18, 1944, Ford was off again - Newfoundland, Scotland, London, mostly preparing to cover the coming invasion. Ford asked his men who among them had small-boat experience, and Robert Moreno raised his hand. "I told him I had, and that was about it. He didn't tell us how to cover it or anything."

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Mark Armistead had become friendly with John Bulkeley, the hero of They Were Expendable, and brought him by to meet Ford at Claridge's. Ford was lying in bed naked, but he insisted on getting up and saluting Bulkeley, a winner of the Medal of Honor. Bulkeley was assigned command of a squad of PT boats working the English Channel during D-Day.

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Ford's unit was in charge of documenting Operation Overlord, 176,000 Allied soldiers invading the beaches of France. Since photographing any battle is always an exercise in improvisation, Ford's job was to make sure that everyone who should have a camera had one. He assigned Brick Marquard and Junius Stout to be lead cameramen in the first wave, and supervised fitting some of the landing craft with automatic cameras that would start filming as soon as the ramps lowered.

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Since George Hjorth had already made some nine drops behind enemy lines, he was assigned to go in before the invasion, find a spot on the beach, and photograph the incoming troops. "All Ford told me was, 'Photograph what you see. If you can see it, shoot it.' "

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The invasion was originally planned for June 5, so Hjorth went in on the 3rd, when some Free French picked him up and hid him in a farmhouse. On the morning of the 6th, about two in the morning, he was taken down to the beach. Hjorth had an Eyemo and about twenty rolls of black and white film. He was about fifty yards from the water, behind a tuft of bushes.

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"I could hear motors. It was the minesweepers cleaning out the area. They had a big, wide strip they cleaned out, then two Y shapes on either side of the main strip, one for coming in, one for going out. When it started getting light, I looked out, and it seemed there were islands out there in the channel. But I remembered that the only islands in the channel were Jersey and Guernsey, and those couldn't be seen from the shore of France. And then I realized those weren't islands, those were ships, dozens of them, hundreds of them. That's when I realized it was the invasion.

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"It was pretty light when the invasion started, maybe seven o'clock. And I started cranking away. All I was thinking was 'Am I in focus? Is the camera too high or too low?' The fact that I was photographing guys getting killed didn't hit me until I got onto a destroyer later that day, around noon. Then it hit me hard. That was the day I started smoking."

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Ford was on board the battleship Augusta, which was serving as invasion headquarters. But as the barges disgorged their men to the slaughter that awaited the first wave, as the battle wore on, Ford grew restless. He radioed Armistead, on board Bulkeley's PT boat, to come and get him. The last thing Bulkeley wanted was a Hollywood director as his responsibility in the middle of the most important battle of the twentieth century, but Armistead vouched for him.

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Bulkeley was surprised at how quickly Ford absorbed the requisite information. Armistead thought Ford seemed unusually happy, even when the PT boat fought a machine-gun duel with German E-boats off Cherbourg. Ford genially accused Bulkeley of planning to take the first picture of the dead body of a famous director. The two men became friends, and Ford realized that Bulkeley would indeed be a great subject for a movie.

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Although Ford would later imply that he was dodging bullets on Omaha Beach ("My memories of D-Day come in disconnected takes like unassembled shots to be spliced together afterward." he said at one point), he seems not to have actually landed for several days. Certainly, his grandson Dan, who would be decorated for his own service in Vietnam, never heard my stories about Ford's exploits on D-Day, which he is certain he would have had Ford been in the first or second waves.

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Two days after D-Day, Ford wrote Mary in veiled terms: "Been up country for a coupla days - lovely weather - enjoyed the English summer. Feel wonderfully well + rested - lots of milk + eggs etc. - put on weight... - well my darling I miss you terribly + our home + our family, but I guess

that's what we're fighting for. Carry on my sweet. I hope to be with you all again before many weeks. This thing is going great. Jerry is bound to crack up any day. I love you."

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Ford began moving inland with the American troops. The other directors serving in the same theater were astounded at Ford's bravado. George Stevens remembered sheltering himself under a hedge in Normandy when he looked up and saw Ford standing full-height, calmly observing some fighting.

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Scott Eyman "Print the Legend: The Life and Times of John Ford" (1999)

Can My Adolescent Drive a Car?

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Many parents ask me about the ability of people on the autism spectrum to drive a car. I have been driving since I was eighteen. I learned on the dirt roads at my aunt's ranch. Every day for an entire summer, I drove her old pickup truck three miles to the mailbox and back. The truck had a manual gear shift and it would stall unless the clutch was worked just right. Because of the difficult clutch for the first few weeks my aunt operated the clutch and I sat beside her, learning to steer. After I learned steering, it took me several weeks to ?master the clutch. Aunt Ann made sure I had completely mastered steering, braking, and changing gears before she let me drive the truck on a paved road with traffic.

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The main difference between a typical adolescent and a person with autism is that more time may be required to master the skills involved in driving a car, and these skills may need to be learned one piece at a time. For instance, I didn't drive on a freeway until I was completely comfortable with slower traffic. The several months of driving in the safe dirt roads on the farm provided the extra time I needed to learn safely.

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When a motor skill, such as driving, is being learned, all people have to consciously think about the parts involved, such as steering or operating the clutch. During this phase of motor learning, the brain's frontal cortex is very active. When a skill such as driving or steering becomes fully learned, the person no longer has to think about performing the sequential steps involved. Steering the car becomes automatic and conscious thinking about how to do it is no longer required. At this point, the frontal cortex is no longer activated. The motor cortex takes over when a skill is fully learned and the skill is executed unconsciously,

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I would recommend that the process of steering, braking, and otherwise operating a car be fully learned to the "motor automatic" stage before permitting your son or daughter to drive in any amount of traffic, or on a freeway. This helps solve the multitasking requirements involved with driving and frees up the frontal cortex to concentrate on traffic, rather than the operation of the car itself.

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If a child can ride a bike safely, and reliably obey the traffic rules, he or she can probably drive a car. When I was ten years old, I rode my bike everywhere and always obeyed the rules. Likewise, to be able to drive a car, a person must already know how to steer a bike, golf cart, trike, electric wheelchair, or a toy vehicle. Parents interested in teaching their child to drive a car can plan ahead while the child is still young, making sure he or she first masters some of these skills on other types of vehicles.

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Another critical issue to consider is the maturity level of the individual. Does the boy or girl have enough mature judgment to drive a car? Are they careful to obey rules given them? How do they react under pressure? These factors need to be assessed on a case-by-case basis to determine if an adolescent is ready to tackle driving a car. I recommend allowing the person on the spectrum extra time to learn the basic operation of the car and the individual skills involved in driving. After each driving skill becomes fully learned and integrated with the other skills, they can slowly progress to driving on roads with more and more traffic, higher speeds, more frequent stops, or areas where there is a greater chance for different events to occur (for instance, driving in neighborhoods with lots, of children or a high concentration of business establishments with cars pulling in and out of parking spaces regularly) Finally, nighttime driving should be avoided until the adolescent is very comfortable with all aspects of daytime driving.

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I think rather than pondering CAN my child with ASD drive a car, the more appropriate question is "Is my child READY to drive a car?" The act of driving a car can be broken down into small, manageable pieces for instruction. The motor skills can be taught and, with enough practice, can be learned. However, driving is a serious matter, one that involves more than just learned skills. Each parent needs to decide whether or not their son or daughter has the maturity and good judgment required to allow them to get behind the wheel of a car. In this regard, the parents' decision is no different for a person on the spectrum than it would be for a typical child.

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Temple Grandin "The Way I See It: A Personal Look at Autism & Asperger's" (2011)

No man is an island

(1624 Book by John Donne)

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This is . . . a tale of history, really.? It's a love story.? And it also explains how the Wexford Musical Festival in Ireland came about.

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It concerns London in the early seventeenth century when the pilgrim fathers put in to James the First for a charter to leave these shores.? And find a quicker way of getting rich on the shores of America.? They just escaped.?? It was the first charter flight, actually, in history.

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And we are concerned with two men and a girl.? A loveless love story.

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The first is John Donne.? John Donne was a kind of poet, a mystical pet. He's also a semi-clergyman. John Donne used to take services, not important services, just the evening: quickies.

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Morning services were grand and lots of choral singing.? And it was just a sermon and a Gregorian chant.? It was Some Enchant at Evening.

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John Donne was in love with this girl, Ann Moore.? She was always loved by another chap called Norman Conquest.

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Now Norman Conquest was a rather flash character, unlike John Donne.Norman Conquest was slashed doublets and purple hose.? And he had an Elizabethan beard, like a ferret's armpit in a high wind. And terminal acne.

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Now both of these were in fact, during the day, were broadcasters in a sense that we would call them now.

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Because the old Wooden O on the south bank had spawned these chaps who wanted to take broadcasting outside the theater.? To broadcast, in fact, they went round with big megaphones.

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Norman Conquest used to sing all the popular songs and he was called Woody-O One.

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John Donne used to do interviews on the street corner with people. And he was called John Donne or Woody-O One Four.

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And Ann Moore decided to marry Norman Conquest.? And John Donne was shattered by this.? So he laid plans.

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And he knew that Norman Conquest was frightfully ambitious and wanted to be a big thing in show business.

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And there was this Yorkshire schoolmaster, failed, called Wexford Squares, who wanted to go to Ireland and form this arts music festival.

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And John Donne said, "I'll give you a sum of money to set it up if you'll take this Norman Conquest as the festival supervisor.? Because he'll jump at the chance.? And it'll get him out of the way and I'll be able to marry my sweetheart, Ann Moore.

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But Ann Moore said she was going to get married to Norman Conquest.? And she asked John Donne to conduct the marriage service.

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So, there they are.? There's Ann Moore waiting.? There's John Donne with the prayer book.? No bridegroom.

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And the bell starts ringing.? Quarter to three.?

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She said, "WHERE IS HE.? MY GROOM. How long does the bell toll?"

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John Donne says, "Ask not for whom the bell tolls", Swiftly passing the prayer book to the real vicar and taking his place beside Ann.

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He said, "It tolls for us.? Norman is in Ireland."

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Frank Muir

880912a

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download at http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?v3enu1jvwhgbf38

I was prescribed a yearlong course of antibiotics to prevent recurrent urinary tract infections. Should I be worried about antimicrobial resistance?

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Whenever you take antibiotics, no matter the dose or duration, there is a risk of developing resistance, said Dr. Sarah Kabbani, a public' health physician at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

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Antibiotics work by killing bacteria in your body. But some bacteria will survive, which can make future infections harder to treat. This result, antimicrobial . resistance, is responsible for more than 35,000 deaths in the United States each year.

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While antibiotics are necessary for serious, life-threatening infections, they're sometimes prescribed for less urgent situations.

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The most important question to discuss with your doctor before taking an antibiotic is: Do I really need it?

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It's very possible that you don't, said Dr. Bradley Langford, a pharmacist specializing in antimicrobial resistance at Public Health Ontario in Toronto. According to the C.D.C., at least 28 percent of antibiotics prescribed in outpatient settings like doctors' offices and emergency departments are unnecessary.

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In recent years, U.S. health experts have recommended being more conservative in prescribing antibiotics for common situations, like for treating acne or preventing infections from dental procedures.

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If a provider does recommend an antibiotic, research suggests that the shorter the course, the lower the resistance risk, and in many cases, shorter courses are just as effective as longer ones.

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Still, some providers continue to prescribe longer courses than are necessary, Dr. Kabbani said, so whatever your situation, ask if you're on the shortest course possible.

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Also consider the type of antibiotic. Broad-spectrum antibiotics, which target many types of bacteria, are more likely to cause resistance than those that target fewer types.

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And lower dosages don't automatically mean less chance of resistance, Dr. Langford said. What's more important is whether you're taking antibiotics at all, and for how long.

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Most of us know that we shouldn't take antibiotics for viral infections, like colds and flus. But guidelines for other situations may be less straightforward.

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SURGICAL AND DENTAL PROCEDURES Prophylactic antibiotics are often prescribed before surgeries to reduce the risk of infection. In those cases, they are worth taking, Dr. Kabbani said.

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But taking antibiotics before a dental procedure is often not necessary, she said; the drugs should be reserved for those at higher risk of complications, according to the American Dental Association.

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RECURRENT URINARY TRACT INFECTIONS If you have chronic U.T.I.s, defined as more than two in six months or more than three in a year, short courses of prophylactic antibiotics - typically lasting from three months to a year - can reduce their recurrencein adults. But the drugs still carry risks for resistance.

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Doctors are increasingly recommending that if you have recurrent U.T.I.s, it's best to start with alternative prevention methods, such as drinking more fluids, Dr. Langford said.

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There's "very limited evidence" for taking prophylactic antibiotics for recurrent U.T.I.s indefinitely, Dr. Kabbani said. But if you are prescribed them for an extended course, make sure you know how long it should last; usually, it's no more than a year, Dr. Langford said.

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SKIN CONDITIONS People with skin conditions like rosacea or acne are commonly prescribed antibiotics. In fact, dermatologists prescribe more antibiotics than providers in any other medical specialty, said Dr. John Barbieri, a dermatologist at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston.

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For severe rosacea, antibiotics are often the best treatment, Dr. Barbieri said. Though medicated creams or gels or gentle skin care routines can help with milder cases.

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For acne, alternative and effective treatments are available, like benzoyl peroxide washes, topical retinoids and products with salicylic acid.

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Topical antibiotics May help ' mild cases of acne, but they can still cause antimicrobial resistance. So take them in combination with other topical treatments, like retinoids, experts say, to reduce your exposure.

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If your acne is severe, oral antibiotics won't "cure" it, but they can improve an outbreak quickly, Dr. Barbieri said, so they may be helpful for temporarily managing your acne while pursuing other, longer-term treatments.

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Anna Gibbs

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British prosecutors filed charges against four men over the theft of a toilet - an 18-carat gold toilet valued at nearly $6 million. It went missing years ago from Blenheim Palace, the birthplace of Winston Churchill. It was a work of art to commentary on excess wealth and also, a functioning object. At long last, police think they have flushed out the four culprits, though they suspect the golden evidence was melted down

Virtual Freshman Orientation

By Nicky Guerreiro And Ethan Simon

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Welcome, freshmen, to your first year at William McKinley Virtual High School. Even in the midst of a global pandemic, we're committed to providing you with a classic all-American high-school experience - online.

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At McKinley Virtual High, education comes first. In math, you will learn the principles of geometry. The four walls of your bedroom form a rectangle, No point in learning the other shapes. For science class, you will engage in the global race for a COVID-19 vaccine. Sure, it's unlikely that the cure is dog food mixed with Clearasil, but the scientific method says you have to everything. Except drinking bleach. Science has always known that you can't drink bleach.

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Socially distant P.E. will look a little different. This year, students will have to pummel THEMSELVES with dodgeballs. If you wear glasses, you must leave them on. It's all part of the educational experience. To simulate the locker-room environment, you will split into two Zoom "breakout rooms" - ?one for girls and one for boys - and get naked. Our lawyers have assured me that this is both legal and a cherished part of high school. For those of you who are self-conscious about your changing bodies, please know this: you are not normal. You are the only one who has ever looked like that. Google "fifteen-year-old boy normal" and you'll see. In lieu of a school-provided gym uniform, please change into whatever clothes make your body look lumpiest.

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While there's no substitute for the healthy meals prepared in our cafeteria, you can re-create the nutritional profile of a school meal by squirting ketchup on a slice of pound cake.

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High school is about social life, too. Even in virtual high school, you will quickly find new friends and establish social circles. But some things will be a little different. Drama kids: though the school's production of "Our Town" has been cancelled, you'll be happy to know that all of you got the lead role. Debate team: you will now be holding practice sessions in the reviews section of Amazon.com. (Resolved: the SleepTech 2000 is an imperfect mattress pad.) Goths: your belief that the world is a purposeless wasteland of dysfunction and fear used to set you apart. But, now that we're all in agreement on that, maybe it's time to find a new thing - have you tried jogging? Bullies: you'll have to cope with your parents' divorces some other way. Popular kids: don't worry, even through the small window into your lives which a Webcam provides we can still tell that you're rich. Stoners: as you were. This is really your time. And, since we won't be able to find out who would have been that kid whose rolling backpack runs over everyone's feet, please just raise your hand now. (Thanks, I had a hunch it was you.)

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I know that virtual high school must be a disappointment. Many of you had big plans for this year. Some of you were going to find yourselves in detention with students from different backgrounds. After a series of comical misunderstandings and a dance montage, you would have learned to like - maybe even love - one another. This will no longer be possible. Detention will be virtual, too. You will watch a nine-hour video about corn.

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One of you was going to be crowned homecoming queen, only to break the tiara into dozens of pieces and share it with the entire class. I cannot emphasize enough how unsanitary that is. Still others were going to connect with an ambitious young English teacher from another walk of life, who would have shown you that poetry is just like rap, and that, through the written word, you could transcend your background. Maybe next year. And, if you were planning to take off your glasses and reveal that you've actually been hot the whole time, please sign up for a time slot. When you all do it at the same time it doesn't work.

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As you imagine yourselves stepping through the doors of William McKinley Virtual High, think of our namesake, a President who did not live through the pandemic of 1918, since he was shot in the chest in 1901. What a lucky break.

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I can't wait to see you all at graduation. Maybe.

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The New Yorker, August 24, 2020

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