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? This is really slick.? Just type in year of birth and watch!
? Give it a try and click the link below, this is very thought provoking.
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just have to share...............
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Just For Fun! |
|  1. The fattest knight at?King Arthur's round table?was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.?
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be?an optical Aleutian.?
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.?
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it?was a?weapon of math disruption.?
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.?
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for?littering.?
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in?France?would result in Linoleum?Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.?
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police?are?looking into it.?
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11.?Atheism?is a non-prophet organization.?
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to?the?other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'?
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.?
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the?Grass.'?
15. The?midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium?at?large.?
16. The?soldier who survived mustard gas and?pepper spray?is now a seasoned?veteran.?
17. A backward poet writes inverse.?
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your?count?that votes.?
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in?Paris, you'd be in Seine.?
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The?stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion?allowed per passenger.'?
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and?says?'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in?the craft.?Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't?have your kayak and heat it too.?
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The?other?says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'?
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root?canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.?
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope?that at?least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. |
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Hi all,
My cousin in Ohio has informed me that they called in Hospice for Mr. Jogan.???? ?? Thought you all would want to know......
He had a HUGE impact on my life.
Gwen
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Giving Up Wine
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a
couple of dollars for dinner.?
I took out my wallet, got out
ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with
it instead of dinner?'?
'No, I had to stop drinking years
ago', the homeless woman told me.
'Will you use it to go shopping
instead of buying food?' I asked.
'No, I don't waste time
shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to
stay alive.'
'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of
food?' I asked.
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I
haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'
'Well, I said, 'I'm not
going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner
with my husband and me tonight.'
The homeless Woman was shocked.
'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty,
and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'
I said, 'That's okay. It's
important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up
shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'?
You're gonna send it
on -?aren't?you??
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If you are a senior you
will understand this one, if you deal with
seniors this should help you understand them a
little better, and if you are not a senior
yet........God willing, someday you will
be......
The??2.99 Special
We
went to breakfast at a restaurant where the
'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash
browns and toast for $2.99.
'Sounds
good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the
eggs.'
'Then, I'll have to charge you
$3.49 because you're ordering a la carte,' the
waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have
to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked
incredulously. ?
'YES!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then,' my wife
said..
'How do you want your eggs?' the
waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,'
my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and
baked a cake.. ? ? ?
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?DON'T MESS WITH
SENIORS!!!
?WE'VE been
?around the block more than
once!
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? ? ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?
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Send
this to the Seniors in your life. I'm sure
they'll appreciate it!
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Even
non-seniors will appreciate it!?
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thanks for sharing your insights. ?wish more would !
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On Mon, Aug 23, 2010 at 3:40 PM, jhdouglas59 <jhdouglas59@...> wrote:
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As I was picking a vinyl to listen to yesterday on my retro phono
player, I stumbled upon a Blood, Sweat and Tears album.
I have not listened to this vinyl in years but I had a flashback
in my mind (such as it is).
I regressed back in time to the early 70's. I noted that I wrote the date of 03/03/70 on the vinyl album cover. Then I thought of the Holday
Inn and its Holidome feature.
We stayed at Holiday Inns on our treks back to Ohio from Winsconsin
when our two (at that time) child persons were traveling with us.
The reason that I thought of this is that when the child persons
were sleeping (or at least we thought they were sleeping), we sneaked
out of our room and went to the Holiday Inn lounge to listen to their
"live (or barely alive) entertainment". It seems that all of the
Holiday Inns we stayed at had lounge singers that sang Blood,
Sweat and Tears classics such as:
Spinning Wheel
And When I Die
God Bless the Child
You've Made Me Very Happy
As I recall, I got sick and tired of Spinning Wheel. Now it does not
sound too bad. I have not heard that song in many years.
God bless the vinyls. May they live forever.....
Johnny
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As I was picking a vinyl to listen to yesterday on my retro phono
player, I stumbled upon a Blood, Sweat and Tears album.
I have not listened to this vinyl in years but I had a flashback
in my mind (such as it is).
I regressed back in time to the early 70's. I noted that I wrote the date of 03/03/70 on the vinyl album cover. Then I thought of the Holday
Inn and its Holidome feature.
We stayed at Holiday Inns on our treks back to Ohio from Winsconsin
when our two (at that time) child persons were traveling with us.
The reason that I thought of this is that when the child persons
were sleeping (or at least we thought they were sleeping), we sneaked
out of our room and went to the Holiday Inn lounge to listen to their
"live (or barely alive) entertainment". It seems that all of the
Holiday Inns we stayed at had lounge singers that sang Blood,
Sweat and Tears classics such as:
Spinning Wheel
And When I Die
God Bless the Child
You've Made Me Very Happy
As I recall, I got sick and tired of Spinning Wheel. Now it does not
sound too bad. I have not heard that song in many years.
God bless the vinyls. May they live forever.....
Johnny
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I read an article in the local San Antonio paper today concerning
a new old diet.
The diet consists of chewing each bite 32 times and then either
swallowing what is left or spitting out the remains.
Sounds like it would make for an entertaining scene in a restaurant
to me.
I thought the 32 times to chew each bite sounded a little excessive.
Wasn't the rule to chew the food 10 times? I don't recall that
you are supposed to spit out the remains.
Query: What do you do if you are eating soup? I think chewing
soup would be a waste of time.
On the other hand, if you tried to chew each bite of beef jerky
32 times you might choke trying to swallow it if you only chewed
it 32 times.
Next time I will try a soup sandwich. Sounds tasty.
Cheers,
Johnny
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I must fit the definition of old folks since I do remember these.
The Statler Brothers are neato. They are much better than the no-talent Oakridge Boys (who can barely sing).
I have the Do You Remember These song on a vinyl album. I think
that maybe the Class of 57 song is on that album also. Too bad that
they did not sing about the Class of 59.
There is also a Statler Brothers song about the Burford Fire Department wherein the Burford Fire Department building burnt down.
I believe that the song was a parody of Old Roadhog singing that
song. I could probably look through the vinyls to see exactly what
song I am trying to recall. But that is too time consuming.
Anyways, thanks for the memories.
Johnny
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--- In dalton59@..., Gwen Meier <gwenmeier@...> wrote:
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Burma?Shave with the Statler Brothers
?
You may need to watch it twice; once to watch the??Burma?shave
signs change and once to catch all the pictures plus listening to
the music of the Statler Brothers.? THIS IS REALLY GREAT.
I am only sending this to my 'older friends' because most folks
under 50 would have no idea what I am talking about.. 'Too bad
they missed it!'
Click the link below.
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Burma?Shave with the Statler Brothers
You may need to watch it twice; once to watch the??Burma?shave
signs change and once to catch all the pictures plus listening to
the music of the Statler Brothers.? THIS IS REALLY GREAT.
I am only sending this to my 'older friends' because most folks
under 50 would have no idea what I am talking about.. 'Too bad
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Our sympathy to Roger and his family. ?Its hard to lose a parent but we have all been through it and know that it is the circle of life. ?Our prayers are with you Roger. ?
Here is an update on our crazy unexpected life.
I am not sure who I told what at this point but wanted to let you know what has happened here in the last week.
A week ago today (Wednesday) my husband George was up on an aluminum ladder putting up screen when the ladder tipped and threw him down a stone bank and into our very shallow pond. ?He hit the stones going down and broke 7 ribs and had a punctured lung. ?he was taken by EMS to Fannin regional hospital and was then transported to Erlanger hospital in?Chattanooga?TN and was released?Sunday?evening. ?He is on pain medication and also a anti seizure medicine as they found a hematoma in his brain and were not sure if it was from the accident or not. ?he is very black and blue in the buttocks area and other than that no cuts or bruises. ?He had a tube in his lung area to drain off any fluid and that was removed on Friday and is healing well. ?
We are thankful that the injuries were not more serious and are glad for guardian angels. ?There have been many prayers going up for him and if you are just finding this out we would appreciate your prayer for his healing also. ?He is resting well at night in a chair and longs to just crawl into bed and be comfortable but I think it will be awhile. ?He is in much discomfort but is getting around well. ?If you would like to call him his # 706 455 8229 ~ address po box 66 epworth ga ?30541
pjlee
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Gwen Meier (gwenmeier@...) has sent you a link.
------------------------------------------------------------
Personal message:
Roger Good's father died.
H. Jason Good
============================================================
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1957 Woolworth's Sandwich Menu
?I REMEMBER ........DO YOU?
1957 Sandwich Menu from Woolworth's....
I wondered who to send this to - who would actually remember Woolworth's and eating at a Woolworth's.
It is a good memory. Isn't it fun just to receive an e-mail that doesn't make you crazy but just brings back good memories?
1957 sandwich menu from Woolworth's....
our generation's fast food.
If any of you have a doubt about what we kids paid for a coke and a sandwich at Woolworths in the 1950's, here's proof of the era we lived in........
Can you believe it was in ENGLISH ONLY!!!!!!
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although its been over for awhile this still brought me a laugh! ?Hope it does the same for the rest of you who are reading ......
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THE CLASS REUNION
Every five years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.
I'll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.
It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was
swell.
The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.
The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.
No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.
The boy we'd decreed 'most apt to succeed'
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted 'least' now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.
They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least..
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.
They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.
At our next
get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot.
It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.
By the fiftieth year, it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.
And now I can't wait; they've set the date;Our sixtieth is coming, I'm
told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.
Repairs have been made on my hearing aid;
My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.
I'm feeling quite hearty, and I'm ready to party
I'm gonna dance 'til dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of fun; But I just hope that there's one
Other person who can make it that night.
Author Unknown
Life is Wonderful.
Don't forget it!----Praise The Lord, we've made it this far!
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Hi Paul & All Classmates:
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Paul, I hope you are feeling better by now?after your hospital stay.?
Thanks for the 50's web show.? It was great and your timing was right on for me!? On Aug. 6th, a Friday, I perform my first "Fabulous 50's Show" in Plano, TX. at a Sr. home called "The Waterford."? So it was very interesting to me, and some of the same material I have in my program in between songs.? I go year by year telling the top songs, TV shows, movies, some news items.? I'm starting out singing with "Rock Around the Clock" (1954) - start of R&R, Shake, Rattle & Roll, Earth Angel, Little Darlin, Hound Dog, How Much is that Doggie in the Window?? Early 50's songs include Wheel of Fortune, Oh My Papa - then 1958 - use two R&R Patsy Cline songs...one we did at reunion "Let the Tear Drops Fall" and another she did a bit later, but a R&R sound "When I Get Through With You", Rockin Robin, 1959 hit Mack the Knife, and then close with Blue Velvet.? I'm having fun getting it into place, but it's been
hard work learning all these lyrics, etc.? I had a 50's red felt circular skirt made to wear for this show with black sequined notes, a sequined guitar, Hound Dog record, Elvis' name, a silver sequined saying of "Let's Rock."? I just have to get a blouse or top in place.? I bought one top that I could use, but still may look for a short sleeved kind of tailored with pocket - white blouse like we used to wear with a scarf under the collar (peter pan or pointed).
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I wish I would have had all this by last year for the reunion, but unfortunately the need for it came up this year to provide me with an additional venue.? I now do a #1 Patsy Cline, a #2 Patsy Cline, "Singing the Old Standards," and soon "The Fabulous 50's."
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Hope everybody is having a great summer - it's doggone toooooo hot here in Texas!
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Linda F.
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--- On Sat, 7/24/10, W3GQ wrote:
From: W3GQ
Subject: [dalton59] A White Sports Coat and a Pink Carnation
To: dalton59@...
Date: Saturday, July 24, 2010, 2:37 PM
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Paste this link into your browser and enjoy.
Paul
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| | | | and enjoy I did, thank you Paul for sharing this. ?I need to watch it again and
pause it just long enough to write down what I remembered about each of those things. I must say that was better than Calgon ....................I have often proclaimed that YES we were so blessed to live in such a memorable era! ?Long live Rock and Roll. ?How I wish that our children could be transported to just one day of our memories.
anyone else have any comments?
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A White Sports Coat and a Pink Carnation
Paste this link into your browser and enjoy.
Paul
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Re: Obituary for Gwen's Mom
Thanks Chuck for sharing the obituary.
Linda Freeland
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--- On Wed, 7/21/10, Chuck Meier wrote:
From: Chuck Meier
Subject: [dalton59] Obituary for Gwen's Mom
To: dalton59@...
Date: Wednesday, July 21, 2010, 6:38 AM
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Hello, All -
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Here is a link to the obituary for Gwen's Mom that appeared on the Daily Record website yesterday:? .
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Chuck
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Hello, All -
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Here is a link to the obituary for Gwen's Mom that
appeared on the Daily Record website yesterday:? .
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Chuck
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Thanks Paul for the update. ?Glad you are on the road to recovery even tho it has been long. ?You are right...
Old age is not for sissies~!?
?If we all were required to tell about our physical issues I bet there would ?be a lot of input on the yahoo group!
On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 8:52 PM, W3GQ <sturpe@...> wrote:
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Hi everyone,
PJ asked me for an update on my progress so I figured I'd get everyone the update. Just a reminder, I am recovering from double bypass surgery followed by a stapf infection. Treating the OR staph infection turned out to be more of a challenge than the bypass surgery. I am glad to share the fact that I am doing very well.
I came home on June 25. I will finish my 6 weeks of IV administered antibiotics this Friday, July 23. Then I will most likely be switched to an oral antibiotic for an additional 4-6 weeks. It seems like the doctors are very serious about making sure the MSSA infection is completely gone.
The cardiac surgeon released me from his care last Wednesday, so that was a good step. I still have regular checks from my Primary Care Physician, my cardiac doctor, a home health care nurse and an Infectious Disease doctor. It's pretty sad when you look forward to going to the doctor so you have a good excuse to get out of the house!
I have been walking every day. I am up to a mile and a half now, and the shortness of breath that caused me to look into my ailment is no longer present. I am eating well and trying hard not to re-gain the 20 pounds I lost!
I thank everyone for your best wishes and for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.
Paul
PS. Remember, old age is not for sissies!
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Paul Sturpe