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Lesson 68. Love holds no grievances.

 

Lesson 68. Love holds no grievances.

(1) You who were created by love like itself can hold no grievances and know
your Self. To hold a grievance is to forget who you are. To hold a grievance is
to see yourself as a body. To hold a grievance is to let the ego rule your mind
and to condemn the body to death. Perhaps you do not yet fully realize just what
holding grievances does to your mind. It seems to split you off from your Source
and make you unlike Him. It makes you believe that He is like what you think you
have become, for no one can conceive of his Creator as unlike himself.

(2) Shut off from your Self, which remains aware of Its likeness to Its Creator,
your Self seems to sleep, while the part of your mind that weaves
illusions in its sleep appears to be awake. Can all this arise from holding
grievances? Oh, yes! For he who holds grievances denies he was created by love,
and his Creator has become fearful to him in his dream of hate. Who can dream of
hatred and not fear God?

(3) It is as sure that those who hold grievances will redefine God in their own
image, as it is certain that God created them like Himself, and defined them as
part of Him. It is as sure that those who hold grievances will suffer guilt, as
it is certain that those who forgive will find peace. It is as sure that those
who hold grievances will forget who they are, as it is certain that those who
forgive will remember.

(4) Would you not be willing to relinquish your grievances if you believed all
this were so? Perhaps you do not think you can let your grievances go.That,
however, is simply a matter of motivation. Today we will try to find out how you
would feel without them. If you succeed even by ever so little, there will never
be a problem in motivation ever again.

(5) Begin today's extended practice period by searching your mind for those
against whom you hold what you regard as major grievances. Some of these will be
quite easy to find. Then think of the seemingly minor grievances you hold
against those you like and even think you love. It will quickly become apparent
that there is no one against whom you do not cherish grievances of some sort.
This has left you alone in all the universe in your perception of yourself.

(6) Determine now to see all these people as friends. Say to them all, thinking
of each one in turn as you do so:

I would see you as my friend,
that I may remember you are part of me
and come to know myself.<

Spend the remainder of the practice period trying to think of yourself as
completely at peace with everyone and everything, safe in a world that protects
you and loves you, and that you love in return. Try to feel safety surrounding
you, hovering over you and holding you up. Try to believe, however briefly, that
nothing can harm you in any way. At the end of the practice period tell
yourself:

Love holds no grievances.
When I let all my grievances go
I will know I am perfectly safe.<

(7) The short practice periods should include a quick application of today's
idea in this form, whenever any thought of grievance arises against anyone,
physically present or not:

Love holds no grievances.
Let me not betray my Self.<


In addition, repeat the idea several times an hour in this form:

Love holds no grievances.
I would wake to my Self by laying
all my grievances aside and wakening in Him.<


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The commentary on this lesson (below) is from Kenneth Wapnick's eight volume
series of books, called: "Journey Through the Workbook of A Course in Miracles,"
which can be purchased at the following site:??~ M. Street

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Lesson 68. "Love holds no grievances."

*As I mentioned before, there are places in the workbook where lessons cluster
around a specific theme These next few lessons focus of the role that attack --
holding grievances or judgments -- play in the ego's plan to preserve our
individuality and keep the Love of God away. While the term is never found in
the workbook, Jesus' discussion of attack and holding grievances is based on the
dynamics of special hate relationships.*

(1:1-2) "You who were created by love like itself can hold no grievances and
know your Self. To hold a grievance is to forget who you are."

*These two sentences unmistakably point out why we hold on to grievances. The
purpose of the ego thought system is to ensure that we would not know our true
Self, thus forgetting Who we are. The Holy Spirit is the principle of the
Atonement, and if we chose His counsel instead of the ego's He would remind us
of our Identity as Christ, God's one Son, perfectly united with His Father.
Thus, if we turned to the Holy Spirit we would automatically remember. If God's
Son is perfect Oneness, and our Identity as God's Son is Love, all we need do to
keep this Identity from awareness is accentuate differences within the Sonship.
Attack, grievances, or judgments accomplish this goal by conveying to others
that they are different and separate from us. At that point, of course, love is
out the window. Special love is certainly welcomed, but the Love of God no
longer has a home in our minds.

Banishing love from our minds is the ego's bottom line, and explains why
practically everyone has trouble with true intimacy, friendship, and love. In
these holy relationships there are no barriers: no special interests, special
needs, or special expectations -- only an experience of the oneness of shared
purpose. Therefore, if it is this oneness we fear because it reflects Who we are
in reality, we will do everything possible to keep it away. These lessons
highlight how attack and grievances accomplish just that.*

(1:3) "To hold a grievance is to see yourself as a body."

*This makes perfect sense when you realize that the body is the thought of
separation given form. If the body is real, then the source of the body -- the
thought of being separate from God -- must also be real. In Lesson 161, Jesus
talks about the need for us to have specifics: if we are to hate, we must hate a
body. Needless to say, if I hate a body, I must be a body, too. This bodily
identification is the underlying motivation for all attack thoughts and
grievances.*

(1:4) "To hold a grievance is to let the ego rule your mind and to condemn the
body to death."

*In my conscious mind I may think it is your body I am condemning to death
through my attack; but in reality, since <ideas leave not their source>, it is
my own self I am condemning. Once the ego thought system of separation is
accorded reality, the entirety of that thought system is accorded reality as
well. Death, being the culmination of the thoughts system of sin, guilt and
fear, is thus inevitable.*

(1:5) "Perhaps you do not yet fully realize just what holding grievances does to
your mind."

*Whenever we are angry or entertain thoughts of annoyance or judgment, we are
not aware of the consequences. In one sense we could say that the purpose of A
Course in Miracles is to have us see the disastrous effects -- to us -- of
holding grievances. Remember that this is a course in helping us remember the
relationship between cause and effect. In this context the <cause> is holding
grievances, and its <effects> are misery and suffering. However, if we are not
aware of the causal connection between our attack thoughts and pain, there will
be no motivation to let the grievances go. One of Jesus' principle "burdens" as
our teacher is to have us realize the consequence of holding on to these
grievances. And here it is:*

(1:6) "It seems to split you off from your Source and make you unlike Him."

*Note that Jesus says "<seems> to split you off." Holding grievances <seems> to
split us off because, in reality, the separation never occurred. Within our
nightmare illusions of anger, we are not only split off from the person at whom
we are angry, but also from God. Since all is one within our split minds, what
we believe we do to one, we do to the other. As this passage succinctly states,
in the context of the need to forgive our brother:

"He represents his Father, Whom you see as offering both life and death to
you."
"Brother, He gives but life. Yet what you see as gifts your brother offers
represent the gifts you dream your Father gives to you." (T-27.VII.15:7--16:2).

This now is why God stands behind our brothers -- in forgiveness and
unforgiveness alike:*

(1:7) "It makes you believe that He is like what you think you have become, for
no one can conceive of his Creator as unlike himself."

*This is an important concept. In fact we are going to see it repeated very
shortly in Lesson 72. The meaning is this: If I believe I have attacked God, I
will automatically project the thought and believe God will attack me. When I
split off a part of myself I do not want -- a self always associated with guilt
-- I inevitably make another self that is perceived outside me. This self is
literally made up in my image and likeness; a carbon copy of a thought that I
believe I can deny and be rid of. But since <ideas leave not their source>, the
ideas of my attack and guilt remain with me. I am unaware this is so because I
believe I have gotten rid of them through projection, and thus see the guilt in
another. The following passage from the text nicely expresses this dynamic,
which inevitably ends up separating us from ourselves, at the same time
separating from each other -- a perfect result of the ego:

"What you project you disown, and therefore do not believe is yours. You are
excluding yourself by the very judgment that you are different from the one on
whom you project. Since you have also judged against what you project, you
continue to attack it because you continue to keep it separated. By doing this
unconsciously, you try to keep the fact that you attacked yourself out of
awareness, and thus imagine that you have made yourself safe.

"Yet projection will always hurt you. It reinforces your belief in your
own split mind, and its only purpose is to keep the separation going. ...
Projection and attack are inevitably related, because projection is always a
means of justifying attack. Anger without projection is impossible. The ego uses
projection only to destroy your perception of both yourself and your brothers.
The process begins by excluding something that exists in you but which you do
not want, and leads directly to excluding you from your brothers." (T-6.II.2:
3:1-2,5-8).

This highlights the importance of never forgetting the Course's underlying
metaphysics. If there is no one out there, and the world is nothing but a
projection of what I believe is in me, everything I see outside comes from me.
When we dream at night, the characters, events, places, and symbols in the dream
are split-off parts of our self; different aspects of a personality we now
perceive outside us in the dream. It works the same way with our waking dreams.

Thus it is impossible I see anyone as unlike me, because everyone is made like
me, whether it is God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, or people in my everyday life.
Therefore, if I see myself as separate from you, I have made separation real,
which makes real my separation from God. This is the source of my
self-accusation that I am a sinner. Projecting this out, I automatically see God
as a sinner, too. This is the figure of God we know and "love" in the Bible; the
God Who is literally made up in our image and likeness. He is thus as insane as
we, filled with our beloved specialness. The law of projection ensures that it
cannot be otherwise.*

(2:1) "Shut off from your Self, which remains aware of Its likeness to Its
Creator, your Self seems to sleep, while the part of your mind that weaves
illusions in its sleep appears to be awake."

*Jesus here juxtaposes the image of Christ truly awake, yet <appearing> to be
asleep, with our ego self <really> asleep, yet dreaming its life. This split
self appears to be awake, because we actually think we live. Our Self (Christ),
in truth, can never fall asleep. It but seems to sleep, a "sleep" that is buried
in our minds, protected by the ego's thought system of guilt and attack.*

(2:2-5) "Can all this arise from holding grievances? Oh, yes! For he who holds
grievances denies he was created by love, and his Creator has become fearful to
him in his dream of hate. Who can dream of hatred and not fear God?"

*This is an expression of the ego's "unholy trinity" of sin, guilt, and fear: I
believe I have separated from God (sin); I project out my guilt and God (as well
as everyone who comes to symbolize this vengeful God) out to steal from me what
I believe I stole from Him ( fear). It is impossible for us to hold a grievance
against anyone and not believe, in the end, that God is going to punish us for
it. This is the dynamic Jesus wants us to recognize. He does not want us to feel
guilty because we have attack thoughts; he simply wants us to be aware of why we
are choosing them, and the consequences of our decision. He wants us to
understand as well that as long as we think our function is to get rid of guilt
through attack, we will never know real happiness. This is why he tells us that
our function and happiness are one. Our function is to let go of our grievances
and forgive, allowing to surface the Holy Spirit's thoughts of love, which alone
can make us happy. The connection between our unforgiveness and the fear of God
is highlighted in this statement from the last obstacle to peace:

"Before complete forgiveness you still stand unforgiving. You are afraid of
God because you fear your brother. Those you do not forgive you fear. And no one
reaches love with fear beside him." (T-19.IV-D.11:4-7).

The importance of our understanding this dynamic of cause and effect,
unforgiveness and fear, is reflected by how often Jesus returns to it, as we
shall continue to see in the workbook.*

(3:1) "It is as sure that those who hold grievances will redefine God in their
own image, as it is certain that God created them like Himself, and defined them
as part of Him."

*The truth is that God and His So are alike, but in Love and perfect Oneness.
The ego says God and His Son are alike, but in guilt and perfect separation.
Voltaire's famous <bons mots> are always relevant:

"God created man in his own image. And then man returned the compliment." *

(3:2) "It is as sure that those who hold grievances will suffer guilt, as it is
certain that those who forgive will find peace."

*As we learn from many other passages in A Course in Miracles, the cause of our
suffering and pain, without exception, is guilt. The following passage from the
text, from which we have already quoted, is representative:

"Once you were unaware of what the cause of everything the world appeared to
thrust upon you, uninvited and unasked, must really be. Of one thing you were
sure: Of all the many causes you perceived as bringing pain and suffering to
you, your guilt was not among them. Nor did you in any way request them for
yourself. This is how all illusions came about. The one who makes them does not
see himself as making them, and their reality does not depend on him. Whatever
cause they have is something quite apart from him, and what he sees is separate
from his mind. He cannot doubt his dreams' reality, because he does not see the
part he plays in making them and making them seem real." (T-27.VII.7:3-9).

What holds our guilt in place is attack thoughts, and so we can conclude that
these thoughts, born of our guilt, are the cause of our unhappiness and misery.
Recognition of this is essential if we are to be motivated to give up attack
through forgiveness. Only then can we find the peace we so desperately seek.*

(3:3) "It is as sure that those who hold grievances will forget who they are, as
it is certain that those who forgive will remember."

*We want to remember our underlying motivation, which is to forget Who we are.
We want to forget, because in the memory of our Identity there is no
specialness, uniqueness, or individuality that we know of as ourselves. What
keeps that memory away is guilt, the pain of which is defended against by
holding projected grievances against everyone else. *

(4:1-2) "Would you not be willing to relinquish your grievances if you believed
all this were so? Perhaps you do not think you can let your grievances go."

*It is the ego's voice that tells us A Course in Miracles is too difficult, our
hate-filled judgments too overwhelming, our fear too great, and finally that
there is no hope of meaningful change. Yet the reader may recall the passage we
have already presented from the beginning of Chapter 31 (T-31.1.5), where Jesus
gently chides us for believing our minds are not powerful enough to learn his
course and practice its principles of forgiveness.*

(4:3) "That, however, is simply a matter of motivation."

*Another way of characterizing A Course in Miracles is to say it is about
<motivation>. Therefore, we must realize that we all have a secret motivation, a
hidden agenda that says: "I do not want to awaken from the dream and return
home: I do not want to let go of my grievance." That is the hidden motivation.
Until we are aware of these secret thoughts, we cannot change them. That is why
it is so important to be honest with ourselves about this secret motivation of
not wanting to awaken from the dream. If we are truly honest, we would realize
that what we really want is to live in this world, but more happily, and bend
this course to suit our ego's purpose. Thus Jesus implores us in the text, as we
have seen, to be honest with him, which naturally means with ourselves. His
words are worth another read:

"Watch carefully and see what it is you are really asking for. Be very
honest with yourself in this, for we must hide nothing from each other."
(T-4.III.8:1-2).

"Think honestly what you have thought that God would not have thought, and
what you have not thought that God would have you think. Search sincerely for
what you have done and left undone accordingly, and then change your mind to
think with God's. This may seem hard to do, but it is much easier than trying to
think against it." (T-4.IV.2:4-6).

Jesus is helping us realize that what we are doing will not make us happy.
Special relationships may work temporarily, but will not bring the peace of God,
as forgiveness most certainly will. Our honesty, allowing us to join with him,
is what brings about this happy effect.*

(4:4-5) "Today we will try to find out how you would feel without them. If you
succeed even by ever so little, there will never be a problem in motivation ever
again."

*Once we allow Jesus to come into our minds, which means allowing ourselves to
come into <his>, we would know the peace of God. Even though we may be tempted
to shut him out again, there will always be a part of us that knows the
experience of being truly happy when we were with him. When we let go of our
attack thoughts, judgments, and specialness, we are truly happy. If we listen,
we can hear him say the following words to us, which would ultimately motivate
us to make them our own. Thus we shall repeat them from time to time:

" You have no idea of the tremendous release and deep peace that comes from
meeting yourself and your brothers totally without judgment." (T-3.VI.3:1). *

(5:1) "Begin today's extended practice period by searching your mind for those
against whom you hold what you regard as major grievances."

*This is an exercise that Jesus repeats many times in the workbook. It is
another example of the honesty he asks us to practice: to look truly at those
against who we hold grievances. The purpose of this looking, it goes without
saying, is to let the grievances go. By remembering the pain to <us> of holding
on to them, we would be motivated at last to release our brothers, thereby
releasing ourselves.*

(5:2-3) "Some of these will be quite easy to find. Then think of the seemingly
minor grievances you hold against those you like and even think you love."

*Jesus is talking about both special hate and special love. It is not just a
matter of locating the rage we might feel toward a specific person; these
feelings are relatively easy to locate in our minds. What is even more important
is to identify the feelings that are more subtle, especially those that hide
beneath the face of special love. Jesus also understands his earlier point in
Lesson 21 about no degrees of anger, which he also makes in the manual for
teachers:

"It [Anger] may be merely slight irritation, perhaps too mild to, be even
clearly recognized. Or it may also take the form of intense rage, accompanied by
thoughts of violence, fantasied or apparently acted out. It does not matter. All
of these reactions are the same. They obscure the truth, and this can never be a
matter of degree. Either truth is apparent, or it is not. It cannot be partially
recognized. Who is unaware of truth must look upon illusions." (M.17.4.4-11)

Anything not of God is illusory, regardless of its seeming magnitude.*

(5:4-5) "It will quickly become apparent that there is no one against whom you
do not cherish grievances of some sort. This has left you alone in all the
universe in your perception of yourself."

*These are lines no one likes! Yet what Jesus says must be so if the Sonship of
God is one. If I literally make up the world in my image of self-hatred, no
matter how many billions of fragments exist in the universe I projected, there
will be a part of me that hates everyone. If you think you do not harbor this
hatred within you, think a moment on the people you think you love. Imagine what
happens when they do not do or say what you want. Feeling disappointed or even
mildly annoyed is, once again, but a mild veil drawn over intense fury.

As long as you cherish attack thoughts toward yourself, and believe your
individuality is what you want, it is impossible to perceive <anyone> with love.
It is thus important to become aware of these subtle grievances. Remember, since
the Sonship of God is one, if you claim that you hold grievances against many
people, but not this one particular person, remember how angry, annoyed, hurt,
and disappointed your felt when this wonderful person did not do or say what you
wanted. The unfortunate effect of this dynamic is that it has "left you alone in
all the universe in your perception of yourself." This is where the ego begins:
the belief we have murdered God and destroyed Christ, leaving us isolated in our
universe of separation. Since we do not want to accept responsibility for this
condition, we project the thought and make a universe of billions and billions
of people -- those we love and those we hate. We no longer feel alone or
separate, though we indeed are, for our original thought has never left its
source: "I am all alone, and I have done this terrible thing."

Specialness, then, is an attempt to cover the searing anxiety of the separation
so we could end up thinking: "I am not alone in my hatred of these people,
because these others agree with me"; or, "I am not alone because this loved one
is with me." From the point of view of purpose -- the only meaningful
perspective for understanding the dream -- special love and special hate are the
same. Their <forms> differ, but the <content> of separation and guilt remains
the same.*

(6:1-3) "Determine now to see all these people as friends. Say to them all,
thinking of each one in turn as you do so:

I would see you as my friend,
that I may remember you are part of me
and come to know myself.<"

*The important theme of oneness returns. Jesus does not pretend, though, that we
are going to be successful in doing this exercise. It is an exercise he wants us
to <practice> doing, by understanding our insane thinking that there really are
some people we could like and some we could hate. In terms of form, this does
not mean we need to spend our lives with everyone. Rather, when we spend our
lives with specific people -- the classrooms we all have -- we would not, <in
our minds>, exclude anyone else. It is very easy, when we find people whom we
love because they meet our special needs, to use the relationship as a standard
by which we judge the people who have failed us in the past: e.g., "I never met
anyone like you before." "No one has ever been so kind." "No one has ever really
understood me until now." Thoughts like these signal that the all-inclusive love
of Jesus is not being expressed.*

(6:4-9) "Spend the remainder of the practice period trying to think of yourself
as completely at peace with everyone and everything, safe in a world that
protects you and loves you, and that you love in return. Try to feel safety
surrounding you, hovering over you and holding you up. Try to believe, however
briefly, that nothing can harm you in any way. At the end of the practice period
tell yourself:

Love holds no grievances.
When I let all my grievances go
I will know I am perfectly safe.<"

*Jesus wants us to think about our safety when in the midst of feeling unsafe.
He knows our ability to do this at this point is limited; that is why he uses
the phrase "however briefly." However, he wants us to become accustomed to our
split minds: the ego's thought system of danger and the Holy Spirit's correction
of safety. Only then can we exercise the mind's power to bring the unsafe to the
safe, the darkness to the light, the grievance to the love.*

(7) "The short practice periods should include a quick application of today's
idea in this form, whenever any thought of grievance arises against anyone,
physically present or not:

Love holds no grievances.
Let me not betray my Self.<


In addition, repeat the idea several times an hour in this form:


Love holds no grievances.
I would wake to my Self by laying
all my grievances aside and wakening in Him.<"


*Still once again, Jesus reminds us to maintain vigilance for our ego's antics,
so we may look at them with his gentle love beside us, enabling them to
disappear. To paraphrase the rhetorical question (T-23.IV.9:8) we cited earlier:
Who, with the Love of God beside him, would find the choice between grievances
or forgiveness hard to make?*





Love and Blessings,

Lyn Johnson
719-369-1822

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