Lesson 44. God is the light in which I see.
Today we are continuing the idea for yesterday, adding another dimension to it.
You cannot see in darkness, and you cannot make light. You can make darkness and
then think you see in it, but light reflects life, and is therefore an aspect of
creation. Creation and darkness cannot coexist, but light and life must go
together, being but different aspects of creation.
In order to see, you must recognize that light is within, not without. You do
not see outside yourself, nor is the equipment for seeing outside you. An
essential part of this equipment is the light that makes seeing possible. It is
with you always, making vision possible in every circumstance.
Today we are going to attempt to reach that light. For this purpose, we will use
a form of exercise which has been suggested before, and which we will utilize
increasingly. It is a particularly difficult form for the undisciplined mind,
and represents a major goal of mind training. It requires precisely what the
untrained mind lacks. Yet this training must be accomplished if you are to see.
Have at least three practice periods today, each lasting three to five minutes.
A longer time is highly recommended, but only if you find the time slipping by
with little or no sense of strain. The form of practice we will use today is the
most natural and easy one in the world for the trained mind, just as it seems to
be the most unnatural and difficult for the untrained mind.
Your mind is no longer wholly untrained. You are quite ready to learn the form
of exercise we will use today, but you may find that you will encounter strong
resistance. The reason is very simple. While you practice in this way, you leave
behind everything that you now believe, and all the thoughts that you have made
up. Properly speaking, this is the release from hell. Yet perceived through the
ego's eyes, it is loss of identity and a descent into hell.
If you can stand aside from the ego by ever so little, you will have no
difficulty in recognizing that its opposition and its fears are meaningless. You
might find it helpful to remind yourself, from time to time, that to reach light
is to escape from darkness, whatever you may believe to the contrary. God is the
light in which you see. You are attempting to reach Him.
Begin the practice period by repeating today's idea with your eyes open, and
close them slowly, repeating the idea several times more. Then try to sink into
your mind, letting go every kind of interference and intrusion by quietly
sinking past them. Your mind cannot be stopped in this unless you choose to stop
it. It is merely taking its natural course. Try to observe your passing thoughts
without involvement, and slip quietly by them.
While no particular approach is advocated for this form of exercise, what is
needful is a sense of the importance of what you are doing; its inestimable
value to you, and an awareness that you are attempting something very holy.
Salvation is your happiest accomplishment. It is also the only one that has any
meaning, because it is the only one that has any real use to you at all.
If resistance rises in any form, pause long enough to repeat today's idea,
keeping your eyes closed unless you are aware of fear. In that case, you will
probably find it more reassuring to open your eyes briefly. Try, however, to
return to the exercises with eyes closed as soon as possible.
If you are doing the exercises correctly, you should experience some sense of
relaxation, and even a feeling that you are approaching, if not actually
entering into light. Try to think of light, formless and without limit, as you
pass by the thoughts of this world. And do not forget that they cannot hold you
to the world unless you give them the power to do so.
Throughout the day repeat the idea often, with eyes open or closed as seems
better to you at the time. But do not forget. Above all, be determined not to
forget today.
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Below, is an excerpt from Kenneth Wapnick's commentaries on this lesson, from
his book set called: "Journey Through the Workbook of A Course in Miracles."
which can be purchased at the following site:
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Lesson 44. "God is the light in which I see."
*Jesus continues here his series of Level One statements: only God is true; only
God is light. Everything else is an expression of the ego's darkness.*
(1) "Today we are continuing the idea for yesterday, adding another dimension to
it. You cannot see in darkness, and you cannot make light. You can make darkness
and then think you see in it, but light reflects life, and is therefore an
aspect of creation. Creation and darkness cannot coexist, but light and life
must go together, being but different aspects of creation."
*We are so sure we are correct in what we perceive, think, and feel, which is
what Jesus means by saying: "You can make darkness and then think you see in
it." We are so sure that we are right, but that is only because we made up the
world of opposites -- light and darkness -- and then forgot where it came from:
the nothingness of our illusory thoughts. But because we see the world, we
believe it is real, and then try to get as many people as we can to confirm our
perceptions and experiences, not realizing we are merely asking the blind to
teach the blind.
The "light" of which Jesus speaks is not perceptual, to be clarified in the next
paragraph, but is another symbol to express a characteristic of Heaven. Darkness
represents the ego and its thought system of guilt, hate, and specialness; while
light represents the Holy Spirit's thought system, which affirms that darkness
had no effect upon reality.*
(2:1) "In order to see, you must recognize that light is within, not without."
* When Jesus says: "God is the light in which I see" he is not talking about
what we see with a naked eye. Vision comes from right-minded thought, and thus
we do not see light outside us. Recall Lesson 15, which I have referred to
several times, where Jesus is not talking about literally seeing edges of light
around objects. If you do have such an experience, realize it is nothing but a
reflection of a thought of forgiveness in your mind. These lessons make it very
clear that light is not external. Remember, there <is> nothing external. As we
shall read in a later lesson: "There is no world! This is the central thought
the course attempts to teach." (W.PI.132.6.2-3).*
(3) "Today we are going to attempt to reach that light. For this purpose, we
will use a form of exercise which has been suggested before, and which we will
utilize increasingly. It is a particularly difficult form for the undisciplined
mind, and represents a major goal of mind training. It requires precisely what
the untrained mind lacks. Yet this training must be accomplished if you are to
see."
*Here, as well as other places in the workbook, Jesus departs from the main
theme of the lesson and talks instead about our practice. It is certainly
difficult to be thinking about the lesson or God throughout the day. By clear
implication, Jesus is saying that we, his students, are not disciplined, and he
is letting us know ahead of time that he fully expects us <not> to do the
lessons as he has given them. Thus we should not feel guilty when we forget, nor
does Jesus want us to deny that we forget, or deny our motivation for forgetting
(which we will discuss in a moment). In fact, he frequently reminds us of the
power of our minds. For example, he gently chides Helen, and indeed all of us,
near the end of the text for complaining this course is too difficult to learn.
After all, he says, <look at what you have learned>:
"What you have taught yourself is such a giant learning feat it is indeed
incredible. But you accomplished it because you wanted to, and did not pause in
diligence to judge it hard to learn or too complex to grasp."
"No one who understands what you have learned, how carefully you learned
it, and the pains to which you went to practice and repeat the lessons
endlessly, in every form you could conceive of them, could ever doubt the power
of your learning skill. There is no greater power in the world. The world was
made by it, and even now depends on nothing else. The lessons you have taught
yourself have been so over-learned and fixed they rise like heavy curtains to
obscure the simple and the obvious. Say not you cannot learn them. For your
power to learn is strong enough to teach you that your will is not your own,
your thoughts do not belong to you, and even you are someone else."
(T-31.1.2:7-- 3:6)
Therefore, Jesus is helping us recognize not only our learning skill, but the
great need to <un>learn what we have so skillfully taught ourselves: our
"ancient overlearning" (T-31.1.5:4). To accomplish this undoing, great
discipline of learning is required. Thus, the need for this workbook.*
(4) "Have at least three practice periods today, each lasting three to five
minutes. A longer time is highly recommended, but only if you find the time
slipping by with little or no sense of strain. The form of practice we will use
today is the most natural and easy one in the world for the trained mind, just
as it seems to be the most unnatural and difficult for the untrained mind."
*Jesus is again telling us that we will have trouble unlearning what we have
taught ourselves, and he explains why in the next paragraph:*
(5:1-4) "Your mind is no longer wholly untrained. You are quite ready to learn
the form of exercise we will use today, but you may find that you will encounter
strong resistance. The reason is very simple. While you practice in this way,
you leave behind everything that you now believe, and all the thoughts that you
have made up."
*Jesus informs us that the problem we will encounter is our own resistance, born
of the fear of losing the thoughts we made up, which, by the way, include
ourselves! We have already discussed how fearfully resistant we become when in
the presence of truth. The reader may recall Jesus' words in the text as to why
<he> was perceived as a threat:
"Many thought I was attacking them, even though it was apparent I was not.
An insane learner learns strange lessons. What you must recognize is that when
you do not share a thought system, you are weakening it. Those who believe in it
therefore perceive this as an attack on them. This is because everyone
identifies himself with his thought system, and every thought system centers on
what you believe you are." (T-6.V.B.1:5-9).
Thus these lessons constitute a direct attack on our egos, seen from the
perspective of the individual self desperately trying to protect its separation
by defending its bodily defense against truth's incursions into the mind.
Note that Jesus is not qualifying his words. To repeat:*
(5:4) "While you practice in this way, you leave behind everything that you now
believe, and all the thoughts that you have made up."
*He means "<everything> that you now believe, and <all> thoughts," not just
<some> of them. That is the basis of our fear, and why everyone tries to
compromise what A Course in Miracles is teaching, having Jesus saying something
he is not saying at all. He is telling you quite explicitly that if you practice
as he instructs, your ego will disappear. It is therefore important to
understand why you do <not> practice the specific lessons, let alone the ongoing
lessons we have with each other.
Very often people ask where in A Course in Miracles does it say what I just
said. This is one of the places, and Jesus says it in very simple English too;
no complicated sentence structure. One more time, here is a statement of the
problem: "While you practice in this way, you leave behind everything that you
now believe, and all the thoughts that you have made up."
We continue with yet another statement of the same theme:*
(5:5-6) "Properly speaking, this is the release from hell. Yet perceived through
the ego's eyes, it is loss of identity and a descent into hell."
*This is the idea I repeat over and over and over again: the major fear that
<everyone> in this world shares is the loss of individuality or personal
identity. Since we cherish this self, to expect that we would not have
resistance to the workbook lessons is rather naive.*
(6:1) "If you can stand aside from the ego by ever so little, you will have no
difficulty in recognizing that its opposition and its fears are meaningless."
*Jesus is speaking here of the decision maker, because he talks about a <you>
that is not the ego (to the left in our chart, see lesson 43). As we have seen,
if you stand aside from the ego you automatically stand aside with Jesus or the
Holy Spirit in your right mind. It is one or the other. The <you> that has
chosen the Holy Spirit, again, is the decision maker.
One other point: Jesus is talking about the ego as if it were a separate entity.
But the ego is simply a thought we have made real, with which we have
identified. In other words, the ego is the part of our split minds that enjoys
being separated. It thus represents our opposition to the Holy Spirit's
Atonement principle. In the following passage Jesus explains why he speaks of
the ego <as if> it were separate from us:
"Only your [i.e., the decision maker] allegiance to it gives the ego any
power over you. I have spoken of the ego as if it were a separate thing, acting
on its own. This was necessary to persuade you that you cannot dismiss it
lightly, and must realize how much of your thinking is ego-directed....The ego
is nothing more than a part of your belief about yourself." (T-4.VI.1:2-4,6).*
(7) "Begin the practice period by repeating today's idea with your eyes open,
and close them slowly, repeating the idea several times more. Then try to sink
into your mind, letting go every kind of interference and intrusion by quietly
sinking past them. Your mind cannot be stopped in this unless you choose to stop
it. It is merely taking its natural course. Try to observe your passing thoughts
without involvement, and slip quietly by them."
*To repeat, the <you> Jesus is addressing is the decision maker, the part of the
mind that chooses. <Watch your mind>. When you feel guilty, when you judge your
thoughts or your actions, you are making them real and opposing them. But you
must look at them, which does not mean to look and then continue your unloving
thoughts and actions. It means looking without judgment, realizing exactly what
you are doing. That would motivate you to let them go, because you would see the
pain of choosing the ego is causing you. The process of looking at the ego with
Jesus thus inevitably entails understanding the <cost> to us when we choose the
ego instead of him, separation instead of unity, hate instead of forgiveness.
When we see clearly that the choice for judgment leads to suffering and pain --
the unnatural -- while the choice for vision leads to peace and joy -- the
natural -- the motivation to choose healing is strong enough to bring it about.
As Jesus concludes Chapter 23: "Who with the Love of God upholding him could
find the choice of miracles or murder hard to make? (T-23.IV.9:8).
Referring to the chart that is why God is on the bottom instead of the top: The
thrust of the lesson and our meditation is to begin where we are on top: The
thrust of the lesson and our meditation is to begin where we are on top, and
then <sink down> into our minds where God is.*
(8) "While no particular approach is advocated for this form of exercise, what
is needful is a sense of the importance of what you are doing; its inestimable
value to you, and an awareness that you are attempting something very holy.
Salvation is your happiest accomplishment. It is also the only one that has any
meaning, because it is the only one that has any real use to you at all."
*The reason "what you are doing" is so important to you is that this is the way
out of hell, the way out of all pain and suffering. You need to keep reminding
yourself: " I am a student of A Course in Miracles, and I have chosen Jesus as
my teacher. Moreover, I am doing the workbook because I want to escape from the
hell of my life of judgment of others and myself. That is why I am the Course's
student: those judgments are the source of my pain and distress, which I no
longer want." Thus Jesus asks you to read these lessons conscientiously, and
<think> about what they mean in terms of your goal of peace. <And then practice
them>.
Jesus again turns to resistance:*
(9) "If resistance rises in any form, pause long enough to repeat today's idea,
keeping your eyes closed unless you are aware of fear. In that case, you will
probably find it more reassuring to open your eyes briefly. Try, however, to
return to the exercises with eyes closed as soon as possible."
*Note especially his <gentle> insistence that we become aware of our resistance,
our fear of these lessons.*
(10:1-2) "If you are doing the exercises correctly, you should experience some
sense of relaxation, and even a feeling that you are approaching, if not
actually entering into light. Try to think of light, formless and without limit,
as you pass by the thoughts of this world."
*Jesus speaks of light as a thought in the Christ Mind, because it has no form.
The reflection of light in our right minds is forgiveness, which has form
because I think I am a person who has to forgive <you>. Again, Jesus uses the
words <light> and <real thoughts> interchangeably with <right mind> and <Christ
Mind>. *
(11) "Throughout the day repeat the idea often, with eyes open or closed as
seems better to you at the time. But do not forget. Above all, be determined not
to forget today."
*We find in these lessons Jesus' urging us to take these lessons very seriously,
to take the practice of A Course in Miracles very seriously. If we do not
practice it day in and day out, we are not going to learn it. This has nothing
to do with an intellectual mastery of the text. We cannot do these lessons
properly in the end if we do not understand the text, but simple understanding
is not enough. We must practice bringing the darkness of our ego's illusions to
the light of the Holy Spirit's truth, and understand <why> we are doing it.*
