Lesson 24. I do not perceive my own best interests.
In no situation that arises do you realize the outcome that would make you
happy. Therefore, you have no guide to appropriate action, and no way of judging
the result. What you do is determined by your perception of the situation, and
that perception is wrong. It is inevitable, then, that you will not serve your
own best interests. Yet they are your only goal in any situation which is
correctly perceived. Otherwise, you will not recognize what they are.
If you realized that you do not perceive your own best interests, you could be
taught what they are. But in the presence of your conviction that you do know
what they are, you cannot learn. The idea for today is a step toward opening
your mind so that learning can begin.
The exercises for today require much more honesty than you are accustomed to
using. A few subjects, honestly and carefully considered in each of the five
practice periods which should be undertaken today, will be more helpful than a
more cursory examination of a large number. Two minutes are suggested for each
of the mind-searching periods which the exercises involve.
The practice periods should begin with repeating today's idea, followed by
searching the mind, with closed eyes, for unresolved situations about which you
are currently concerned. The emphasis should be on uncovering the outcome you
want. You will quickly realize that you have a number of goals in mind as part
of the desired outcome, and also that these goals are on different levels and
often conflict.
In applying the idea for today, name each situation that occurs to you, and then
enumerate carefully as many goals as possible that you would like to be met in
its resolution. The form of each application should be roughly as follows:
In the situation involving ______, I would like ______ to happen, and ______
to happen, . . . .and so on.
Try to cover as many different kinds of outcomes as may honestly occur to you,
even if some of them do not appear to be directly related to the situation, or
even to be inherent in it at all.
If these exercises are done properly, you will quickly recognize that you are
making a large number of demands of the situation which have nothing to do with
it. You will also recognize that many of your goals are contradictory, that you
have no unified outcome in mind, and that you must experience disappointment in
connection with some of your goals, however the situation turns out.
After covering the list of as many hoped-for goals as possible, for each
unresolved situation that crosses your mind say to yourself:
I do not perceive my own best interests in this situation,
. . . and go on to the next one.
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Below, is from Kenneth Wapnick's commentaries on this lesson, from his book set
called: "Journey Through the Workbook of A Course in Miracles." which can be
purchased at the following site:??~ M. Street.
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Lesson 24 " I do not perceive my own best interests."
*This lesson introduces the theme of humility. We are so sure we know what is
best for us, let alone what is best for others. In one sense, as this lesson
makes it clear, it is understandable we would think that way. In one way or
another we have been taught that if we do not take care of ourselves, who will?
We learn we cannot trust the world; it is not set up to meet our needs
instantaneously -- physically -- or emotionally. We cannot completely trust our
parents either, for even the best of them, as judged by the world, are never
there for us <all> the time. A part of us thus learns we must take care of
ourselves: we cannot fully trust anyone. The context of this lesson, therefore,
is the correction of the conviction that we know our best interests.*
(1) "In no situation that arises do you realize the outcome that would make you
happy. Therefore, you have no guide to appropriate action, and no way of judging
the result. What you do is determined by your perception of the situation, and
that perception is wrong. It is inevitable, then, that you will not serve your
own best interests. Yet they are your only goal in any situation which is
correctly perceived. Otherwise, you will not recognize what they are."
*No ego is going to read these lines without being highly insulted! Jesus is
saying we have no guide because we have chosen ourselves as the guide,
reminiscent of the lines from the text I frequently quote: "Resign now as your
own teacher ... for you have been badly taught" (T-12.V.8:3;T-28.I.7:1). This,
then, is a subtle plug for choosing him as our guide.
The reasoning behind this teaching is obvious, once we think of it. To know what
is in our best interests presupposes that we truly know our needs, problems, and
desires. Only then, it goes without saying, could we know how to meet our needs,
solve our problems, and desires. And yet, as we have already seen and have been
clearly taught in the text, the world and the body were <literally> made to keep
the separation -- <in our minds> -- hidden from us. Therefore, our experience of
our needs and problems is but a smoke screen, the purpose of which is to root
our attention to our <bodies> -- physical and psychological -- thus distracting
us from the <mind>, wherein is found both the problem and the answer.
Moreover, an inevitable result of our initial arrogance compounds it still
further by asking Jesus or the Holy Spirit to help us with a problem that we
have determined needs to be solved. Thus we expect Them to share our insane need
to protect our separation from ever being undone. We shall return to this
important theme below.*
(2) "If you realized that you do not perceive your own best interests, you could
be taught what they are. But in the presence of your conviction that you do know
what they are, you cannot learn. The idea for today is a step toward opening
your mind so that learning can begin."
*The humility required is the admission that you do not know what is best for
you, and that there is Someone within you who does, and Whom you will ask for
help. The next step is to realize how much you do not want His help, and when
you do ask for it, how often it is for help on your own terms -- in which case
you are not giving up your investment in believing you know what the problem
<and> the answer are.
Moreover, why are you going to learn something when you already believe you have
the answer? How can you he help you, then, if you already believe you know the
answer to your question, the solution to your problem. That is why in A Course
in Miracles Jesus needs you to understand that you do not know. Thus he teaches
you that real learning is <un>learning: you cannot be taught the truth until you
first understand you do not know it. That is why Jesus always impresses on his
students the <undoing> aspects of his correction (see, e.g., T-I.1.26:2-3;
T-28.1.1:1-4; W-pII.2.3:1-3; M-4.X.3:6-7).
Jesus is asking here that you trust him enough to suspend all your beliefs, and
then say with sincerity: "I do not perceive my own best interests." His is a
plea for total humility, and implied in that plea is that we choose him as our
teacher instead of the ego. The beginning of the next paragraph echoes Jesus
plea:*
(3) "The exercises for today require much more honesty than you are accustomed
to using. A few subjects, honestly and carefully considered in each of the five
practice periods which should be undertaken today, will be more helpful than a
more cursory examination of a large number. Two minutes are suggested for each
of the mind-searching periods which the exercises involve."
*In expressing himself this way, Jesus is telling us we have not been all that
honest up to now. This is why there is repeated emphasis on searching our minds.
Part of the problem inherent in our mind searching is that we think we are
searching our brains. At this point we really do not understand the distinction
in A Course in Miracles between the brain and the mind, and understandable
mistake when we consider our almost complete identification with the body. Thus
we forget our brain is a defense. If the world were made as an attack of God,
then certainly the body was made as an attack on God as well, and the brain is
the principle organ of the body: governing what it thinks, perceives, says, and
does.
Jesus is asking us to be able to come to him and say: "I do not understand
anything. Please teach me." We need to get in touch with how difficult that is.
There is a part of us that truly believes we know what is best for ourselves.*
(4) "The practice periods should begin with repeating today's idea, followed by
searching the mind, with closed eyes, for unresolved situations about which you
are currently concerned. The emphasis should be on uncovering the outcome you
want. You will quickly realize that you have a number of goals in mind as part
of the desired outcome, and also that these goals are on different levels and
often conflict."
*Note the use of the word <uncovering> in sentence 2, echoing our discussion of
the centrality of <undoing> to practice of forgiveness. It is also clear from
Jesus' instructions how we do not <really> know what is in our best interests.
How could we? In case we had any doubts about this, the following exercise makes
it crystal clear to us:*
(5) "In applying the idea for today, name each situation that occurs to you, and
then enumerate carefully as many goals as possible that you would like to be met
in its resolution. The form of each application should be roughly as follows:
In the situation involving ______, I would like ______ to happen, and ______
to happen,
. . . .and so on. Try to cover as many different kinds of outcomes as may
honestly occur to you, even if some of them do not appear to be directly related
to the situation, or even to be inherent in it at all."
This sets the stage for the next paragraph , which contains the lessons' central
point:*
(6) "If these exercises are done properly, you will quickly recognize that you
are making a large number of demands of the situation which have nothing to do
with it. You will also recognize that many of your goals are contradictory, that
you have no unified outcome in mind, and that you must experience disappointment
in connection with some of your goals, however the situation turns out."
*The message of this lesson, therefore, is that if we are truly honest we would
recognize the contradictory nature of much of our desires and goals. This is
inevitable when you consider the impossibility of having non-conflicted goals
when we do not recognize our own best interest. To our ego, this interest is
self-preservation, but since this conflicted self is filled with guilt and fear,
how could satisfaction of our goals be anything but conflicted and fraught with
the same guilt and fear that led to them?
The lesson's final paragraph emphasizes one more time the essential point to be
learned if we are successfully to complete A Course in Miracles curriculum:*
(7) "After covering the list of as many hoped-for goals as possible, for each
unresolved situation that crosses your mind say to yourself:
I do not perceive my own best interests in this situation,
. . . and go on to the next one."
*Jesus wants us to generalize this lesson to all situations in our lives. To be
certain we did not miss the point, nor forget it, he continues this teaching in
Lesson 25.*
