Lesson 21. I am determined to see things differently.
The idea for today is obviously a continuation and extension of the preceding
one. This time, however, specific mind-searching periods are necessary, in
addition to applying the idea to particular situations as they may arise. Five
practice periods are urged, allowing a full minute for each.
In the practice periods, begin by repeating the idea to yourself. Then close
your eyes and search your mind carefully for situations past, present or
anticipated that arouse anger in you. The anger may take the form of any
reaction ranging from mild irritation to rage. The degree of the emotion you
experience does not matter. You will become increasingly aware that a slight
twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury.
Try, therefore, not to let the "little" thoughts of anger escape you in the
practice periods. Remember that you do not really recognize what arouses anger
in you, and nothing that you believe in this connection means anything. You will
probably be tempted to dwell more on some situations or persons than on others,
on the fallacious grounds that they are more "obvious." This is not so. It is
merely an example of the belief that some forms of attack are more justified
than others.
As you search your mind for all the forms in which attack thoughts present
themselves, hold each one in mind while you tell yourself:
I am determined to see ___ [name of person] differently.
I am determined to see ___ [specify the situation] differently.
Try to be as specific as possible. You may, for example, focus your anger on a
particular attribute of a particular person, believing that the anger is limited
to this aspect. If your perception is suffering from this form of distortion,
say:
I am determined to see ___ [specify the attribute] in ___ [name of person]
differently.
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Below, is from Kenneth Wapnick's commentaries on this lesson, from "Journey
Through the Workbook of A Course in Miracles," which can be purchased at the
following site:??~ M. Street
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Lesson 21. "I am determined to see things differently."
*This lesson directly follows from the preceding one. It is interesting to note
that Jesus talks specifically about anger in this lesson, even though it is not
reflected in the title at all. He illustrates the idea that there is no
hierarchy of illusions by having us realize that anger consists of a wide range
of thoughts. We begin with the specific instructions, which usually come at the
end of the lesson:*
(1:1-2:2) "The idea for today is obviously a continuation and extension of the
preceding one. This time, however, specific mind-searching periods are
necessary, in addition to applying the idea to particular situations as they may
arise. Five practice periods are urged, allowing a full minute for each."
"In the practice periods, begin by repeating the idea to yourself. Then close
your eyes and search your mind carefully for situations past, present or
anticipated that arouse anger in you."
*This is the mind searching we had discussed earlier, and now Jesus wants us to
focus specifically on our anger. The problem is that we cannot be determined to
see things differently at the same time we are angry, because our anger says: "I
am determined to see things the way <I> have always seen them. <My> perception
is right, Jesus' is wrong, and I will go to my death to prove it." Jesus is now
helping us realize that before we can say "I am determined to see differently,"
we have to understand our thoughts, which is why he asks us to get in touch with
them. In other words, vision can come <only> by undoing our thoughts of anger,
or correcting our mistaken decision for the ego. Saying <no> to the ego is the
way of learning to see.*
(2:3-5) "The anger may take the form of any reaction ranging from mild
irritation to rage. The degree of the emotion you experience does not matter.
You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing
but a veil drawn over intense fury."
*This last line is the one I mentioned earlier in Lesson 16, one of the more
famous lines in A Course in Miracles. It is so important, in fact, that Jesus
virtually repeats it in the manual for teachers (M-17.4:5). Everything is the
same. Forms vary, but their content remains the same, as this lesson clearly
explains. Statements such as these illustrate just how radical this course is.
For all intents and purposes it invalidates <all> our experiences and beliefs.*
(3:1-2) "Try, therefore, not to let the "little" thoughts of anger escape you in
the practice periods. Remember that you do not really recognize what arouses
anger in you, and nothing that you believe in this connection means anything."
*We think that what arouses anger in us is what people do or fail to do, but
what truly arouses our anger is the need to project responsibility for the
separation:
"Anger always involves projection of separation, which must ultimately be
accepted as one's own responsibility, rather than being blamed on
others."(T-6.in.1:2)
That fact is what we do not want to acknowledge. We need to proclaim: "I am not
guilty of the sin of murdering God and betraying His Love. Someone else is."
When I see it out there -- because I put it there -- I believe I am justified in
getting angry; a neat trick, at which we all are pretty expert. It matters not
whether I am enraged or only mildly annoyed. Either way I am saying that my well
being depends on something or someone external. In the absence of that special
object I will be upset, and it will not be my fault.*
(3:3-5) "You will probably be tempted to dwell more on some situations or
persons than on others, on the fallacious grounds that they are more "obvious."
This is not so. It is merely an example of the belief that some forms of attack
are more justified than others."
*For the first time we see a specific example of the principle that there is no
hierarchy of illusions. Jesus uses anger as the example because it is so central
to the to the ego's thought system. Everyone walks around angry, because
everyone walks around guilty over the separation and not wanting to accept
responsibility for it. Thus again, before we can be determined to see things
differently, we have to recognize and understand the <interference> to seeing
things differently; there is something out there -- whether in our own body or
another's -- that causes us pain that is not of our doing. In other words, our
thoughts have no power, and thus cannot cause us distress. Someone else has
brought this upset about, or some disease or circumstance. We are innocent, the
helpless victim of forces beyond our control.
The rest of the lesson repeats instructions we have seen before.*
(4-5) "As you search your mind for all the forms in which attack thoughts
present themselves, hold each one in mind while you tell yourself:
I am determined to see ___ [name of person] differently.
I am determined to see ___ [specify the situation] differently."
"Try to be as specific as possible. You may, for example, focus your anger on a
particular attribute of a particular person, believing that the anger is limited
to this aspect. If your perception is suffering from this form of distortion,
say:
I am determined to see ___ [specify the attribute] in ___ [name of person]
differently."
*"Try to be as specific as possible" is the key here. Our temptation will often
be to gloss over the specific forms of upset of our life, unconsciously trying
to deny them as the means of denying their source. Thus our ego would get us
twice: first by teaching us to deny our guilt, and then to deny its specific
defense of anger This is a double shield of oblivion Jesus describes in Lesson
136.*
