My Goodness, Sheila -- I thought that situations this boneheaded only
happened to me... I refer to it as "Bogart-Land", and it sounds like you
seem to be visiting this strange and Twilight-Zone-like territory!
Thank you, Gene...I feel very supported by you and all of this wonderful group! It's all a journey, isn't it??? But here's another bone-headed situation that I caused today, and my daughter was completely aghast while I was taking responsibility for it (please note that Id called on the Holy Spirit today to assist me in seeing my life as Spirit would have me see it. Otherwise, I cant imagine how Id have handled ANY of this!)
I was just getting onto the Interstate, off the ramp, and you know how those lanes end eventually, and the lines get closer together until there is no lane left? Well, I realized it a little late while a pokey driver in front of me was not moving my speed (still under the limit, but I was creeping up on him a little too fast...when I decided to move on down that lane, not realizing the lane was going to end. So I ended up passing him from the LEFT, and moving on out. He blew his horn long and hard, and I said, "Oh I just realized what I did, and I blew it. So sorry mister!" But of course, he couldn't hear me, and he drove up to my left and yelled and flaled his arms all over the place, and I attempted to gesture with my shoulders up and my palms straight up that I didn't realize what had happened. And he slows down, with paper and pen in hand to "study" the front of my car. My daughter Sarah (age 14) asked "NOW what's he doing?" And I said, probably taking down the description, make and model of our car. He may have already gotten the license tag, and someone from highway patrol could easily call on me in the next few days about all this." She said, "But you didn't DO anything!" And I said, YES, I did! I passed him on the left , and just as the lane was ending, too. That was against the law. He got really mad. So mad that he's going to show me and try to possibly have me ticketed for it. So if they call, I'll say, Yes, I remember that situation, and yes, I was at fault. I passed him on the left. " And Sarah said, "But that's rediculous! Why does he even care?" And I said, "Well, I COULD have put his life in danger, but I DID make sure I didn't, as I got over into the shoulder while I passed. And it's okay that he's mad. He chooses his own response, and I choose my own response."
And I loved this next question from Sarah, "Well, would YOU get that mad at someone who did that?" And I said, well, today with as little sleep as Ive had lately, I MIGHT get mad, but I'd get over it. And I know I'd blow the horn whether I was mad or not just to alert them to what they were doing. But I don't think I'd call the police after them. She then said, "Well I hope he doesn't. You don't deserve it." And I said, YES I DO! I was wrong about passing him from the left, especially when the lane was ending. f I hadn't been right on his tail, I wouldn't have had to make a snap decision like speeding up and around him. I should have slowed down and let him go first and then get into an actual LANE! Its okay, though. He chose his responses, and Im choosing mine. Ill pray for his highest good and for mine and let it go.
The conversation that followed just blew me away, as it was just intense and incredible, as Sarah then asked, Well, I dont see how you respond to Dad so calmly when HEs the one whos always mad when YOU never did anything wrong! I had to take a DEEP breath on this one. I said, Well, Im choosing my reactions, and have no control over his. But if and when someone points out something to me that I could improve on, I think its important that I admit it and go on.
I dont always respond calmly and with such zeal, but it was evidently synchronistic that I read Garys responses to Karen in the book in Chapter 6 where I was recently reminded of the egos reality and loves reality. More on the illusion of this marriage Im dreaming a little later! Ive rambled enough!
Good night, all!
Sheila
Namast: I honor in you the divinity that I honor within myself and I know we are one.
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