Hello lklanglois@...,
In reference to your comment:
è? I also agree about excessive swapping of quotes being
è boring.
My Ego says the same thing.?? :-)
What I liked about Gary's book was that there were a lot of quotes also, but it was the way the quotes were set up and presented ... they had a unique style
I have noticed if I don't see quotes after a while, I get suspicious? LOL? So I am heavily depended on those folks who know how to look up stuff and copy and paste? .. you know do all the hard work.? :-)
I was watching myself as another day comes to an end and I went a another useless mindless ego attack ... with all the strings attached.
Last night I saw that my bank balance was not enough to cover my checks ... so I worried about it .. could not sleep .. tossed and turn asking myself why I do this to myself .. need to get a grip on to things
Well in the morning I took care of it.?
Then was mift at myself because had to leave my home 2 hours earlier to take care of it.? So I knew I was not going to feel so hot at work.
Managed to get through day, but at the end saw a new telephone list from my job.? I looked for my new number and I was #30 and saw myself getting worked up because I was there at the firm a lot longer than the other folks and I am on the bottom.
Thinking to myself why am I even here?? I have been at this place all these years and I feel like I am at the bottom.?
On Monday of this week four partners (one "name" partner of 24 years)? left the firm ... just left leaving a email saying goodbye.? So the whole place is in a state of shock.
The only good thing is that one of the secretarys who I don't connect with very well is leaving ... (unresolved family issues and I projected a lot of my sister stuff on her ... they are so much alike ....? uggggg)
Before I went home I did my usual stop at the ladies room, and had another epiphany.? I always get the most profound thought (or clarity) in the bathroom or driving (and I don't drive much)
The idea in the Course about letting our minds wonder .. not being vigilant enough, and I said oh my, I let the dawgs out again ... and I always seemed suprised when they bring back to me exactly what I told them to bring.
The same script, abandonment, fear, victim, , jealousy, the desire to kill, and my favorite .. "oh woe is me" script.
I suddenly felt very tired.?? So I decided to eat a box of Popeye chicken ... maybe if I stuff myself I won't feel anything else.
But other than that it is a good day ...
Because I am watching it (as much as I can bear to watch)
Because I am choosing not to feel guilty because I am not choosing peace at the moment.? I know why I feel miserable.
One thing for sure, this ego stuff is exhausting.
I see why the Course says that eventually we will get tired.
Right now I feel very tired.
Watching the movie called 28 Days .. and the guy said .. Man this is not the way to live ... this is a way to die.
Peace
