Lesson 8. My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts.
This idea is, of course, the reason why you see only the past. No one really sees anything. He sees only his thoughts projected outward. The mind's preoccupation with the past is the cause of the misconception about time from which your seeing suffers. Your mind cannot grasp the present, which is the only time there is. It therefore cannot understand time, and cannot, in fact, understand anything.
The one wholly true thought one can hold about the past is that it is not here. To think about it at all is therefore to think about illusions. Very few have realized what is actually entailed in picturing the past or in anticipating the future. The mind is actually blank when it does this, because it is not really thinking about anything.
The purpose of the exercises for today is to begin to train your mind to recognize when it is not really thinking at all. While thoughtless ideas preoccupy your mind, the truth is blocked. Recognizing that your mind has been merely blank, rather than believing that it is filled with real ideas, is the first step to opening the way to vision.
The exercises for today should be done with eyes closed. This is because you actually cannot see anything, and it is easier to recognize that no matter how vividly you may picture a thought, you are not seeing anything. With as little investment as possible, search your mind for the usual minute or so, merely noting the thoughts you find there. Name each one by the central figure or theme it contains, and pass on to the next. Introduce the practice period by saying:
I seem to be thinking about ___.
Then name each of your thoughts specifically, for example:
I seem to be thinking about [name of a person], about [name of an object], about [name of an emotion],
and so on, concluding at the end of the mind-searching period with:
But my mind is preoccupied with past thoughts.
This can be done four or five times during the day, unless you find it irritates you. If you find it trying, three or four times is sufficient. You might find it helpful, however, to include your irritation, or any emotion that the idea for today may induce, in the mind searching itself.
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Below, is from Kenneth Wapnick's commentaries on this lesson, from "Journey Through the Workbook of A Course in Miracles," which can be purchased at the following site:??~ M. Street
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Lesson 8. "My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts."
*There is a discernible sequence to the lessons as one continues to read and practice them. Jesus begins with simple ideas and statements about the way we perceive the world. He then quickly moves to the way we perceive our thoughts and, beginning with Lesson 8, he develops much more clearly the specific cause and effect connection between our thoughts and the world. Here, for the first time in the workbook, he speaks of the world's unreality. He also introduces the idea of projection, a principle that was implied in the first seven lessons, but will be clearly identified in the lessons to follow. Jesus has been telling us up to this point that what we see is meaningless because what we see comes from what we think. And what we think (in our ego minds) is meaningless because it denies true Meaning. This has not been clearly stated in the lessons to date, although we have discussed it, but it certainly has been implied and will be more explicitly stated in the lessons to come.*
(1:1) "This idea is, of course, the reason why you see only the past."
*Lesson 7, "I see only the past," introduces the idea that everything we perceive is meaningless because it is based on our thoughts of the past. In Lesson 8, Jesus continues and extends his discussion of time and the past: <My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts>. It is not simply that we see only the past, which, again, was the theme of Lesson 7, but we see only the past because we <think> only the past. Jesus is here introducing the idea that what we see <outside> comes from what we think <inside>, a major theme of the text: "Projection makes perception" (T-13.V.3.5;T-21.IN.1:1). What we believe and have made real about ourselves within, whether as children of the ego or children of God, will be directly reflected in what we perceive outside, because the inner and the outer are the same. This is a variation of the essential principle in A Course in Miracles that <ideas leave not their source>. We shall return later to this all-important theme. That <my mind is preoccupied with past thoughts> is, of course, why we see only the past (1:1). Although not clearly stated here, but clearly implied, is the principle that what we see comes from what we think. That is why:*
(1:2) "No one really sees anything."
*This is another of those statements that, when you begin to read the text and do the lessons, your mind would tend to gloss over, because you really do not want to accept what Jesus is saying. He means this literally: "No one really sees anything."
(1:3) "He sees only his thoughts projected outward."
*In the text there are many passages -- a couple in the workbook, too -- where Jesus explains that the body's eyes do not see, just as the body does not think, feel, hear, or do anything. It simply does what the mind tells it to do (e.g., T-28.V.5:3-8;VI.2:1-9;M-8.3:3-4:3). The body can be thought of then as simply a puppet or robot that carries out the dictates of its master. That is why we do not see anything. All that we "see," and basically this <see> should be in quotes, is a projection of what we have been thinking. And, as we have seen, what we have been thinking in listening to the ego is quite simply nothing.*
(1:4) "The mind's preoccupation with the past is the cause of the misconception about time from which your seeing suffers."
*In the Prelude, as well as in discussing the Introduction to the workbook, I mentioned that one way of understanding time as we know it, i.e., as linear -- past, present, and future -- is to see it as nothing more than a reflection or shadow of the ego's thoughts system of sin, guilt, and fear. When we choose our individuality over the Holy Spirit's oneness, and then seek to preserve this individual identity, the ego has us construct its thought system of sin, guilt, and fear. To restate this important dynamic: <sin> says we have sinned against God in the past; we experience <guilt> over what we have done in what the ego calls the present, and since guilt always demands punishment, we then become <afraid> of God's punishment, which we believe we deserve. That fear of punishment, of course, points to the future. If you keep in mind this "unholy trinity" of sin (past), guilt ("present"), and fear (future) as you read this first paragraph, it will make much more sense. When we look outside we see a world ruled by time. It is, of course, also a world of space. Space and time, as the text describes them, are opposite sides of the same mistake (T-26.VIII.1:3-5).
Thus, everything we see outside we see in terms of the past, because we see it through the lens of our individual identity. This identity is rooted in sin, the belief that we have separated from God and now exist as separate entities. Since we believe we are at war with God, a theme to be developed later, we must then also believe we are at war with everyone else. As a result, every perception in our world is geared toward dealing with the issue of specialness: who is the special person who will win, and who is the special person who will lose. When this is expressed directly, it is special hate; when concealed, it is special love. Moreover, specialness is rooted in the ego's notion of time, which, once again, comes from the belief in sin, guilt, and fear. Thus specialness cannot <not> be rooted in the past.
The "misconception about time" is that it is real -- there <is> a past, present, and future -- and that the present and future are directly caused by the past. Thus what we are today is because of our past. The future, likewise, will be merely an extension of the ego's present.*
(1:5) "Your mind cannot grasp the present, which is the only time there is."
*The ego's present is not this "present," what A Course in Miracles refers to as the "holy instant." As this experience is not rooted in time, it is also not rooted in sin, guilt, and fear. It is rooted in the right-minded presence of the Holy Spirit, in which vision -- not based on the past, and certainly not on specialness -- becomes the means for love to guide us from within.*
(1:6) "It [your mind] therefore cannot understand time, and cannot, in fact, understand anything."
*This is because everything we think we understand is rooted in the seeming reality of the spatial and temporal world. As long as we identify ourselves as individuals, separate and autonomous, we must believe in the entirety of the ego system. Everything we perceive, therefore, will be a shadow of its illusory thought of separation, which means we will not understand anything.*
(2:1) "The one wholly true thought one can hold about the past is that it is not here."
*This is another of those lines that, if you pay careful attention to it, should have you jumping out of the window. If you are a creature of the past and there is no past, then it must mean there is no <you>. In "The Present Memory" that opens Chapter 28 in the text comes the sentence : "This world was over long ago" (T-28.1.1:6). If this is true, it means <you> were over long ago, too. This forces us to ask: Who is the <you> that you think is reading those words? Or, in Jesus' words in the text: "Who is the 'you' who are living in this world?" (T-4.II.11:8) In other words, our existence is literally made up, and if you paid close attention to that thought you would be terrified. If you are not, it is because you are not paying close attention to it. That statement is literally saying, as is this statement in Lesson 8, that you do not exist.
This would explain, as we had mentioned earlier why doing this workbook carefully and with diligence should make you extremely anxious, even if you are not quite sure where the anxiety is coming from. There is a part of you that recognizes what this is saying, even though, again, the language is simple and does not appear to have the same metaphysical weight found in the text. That is why you forget the lessons, do not want to do them, and tend to gloss over them and focus only on their more superficial aspects.*
(2:2) "To think about it at all is therefore to think about illusions."
*To think about the past is to think about illusions. Stop for a moment as you do this lesson and consider how almost every single thought you have throughout the day is based on the past, whether it is something as commonplace as picking up a coffee cup, or something that would seem far more important. Thoughts about a situation, relationship, your body, or anything else -- are all predicated on the past. And they must be, because the past is nothing more than sin's shadow, and sin is separation. As long as you believe you are a separate entity, you must believe in the reality of sin and therefore of time.*
(2:3-4) "Very few have realized what is actually entailed in picturing the past or in anticipating the future. The mind is actually blank when it does this, because it is not really thinking about anything."
*This statement is the basis of another statement we frequently say in workshops and classes: "The thoughts we think we think are not our real thoughts." If they are not our real thoughts, they do not exist. It follows then that since we have identified with our thoughts, <we> do not exist either. "The mind is actually blank when it does this, because it is not really thinking about anything." Not only is our existence an illusion; indeed, <all> existence is an illusion, for it contrasts with the reality of <being>. A discussion of this distinction can be found in T-4.VII.4-5.*
(3:1) "The purpose of the exercises for today is to begin to train your mind to recognize when it is not really thinking at all."
*It is clear from statements like this, as well as many others, that Jesus' purpose in these lessons is to train our minds. Here, specifically, the focus is the idea of thinking -- to have us realize that we are really not thinking at all. We will become aware of this by recognizing how much our thoughts are rooted in the past, or, although this is not the point of this lesson, how much they are rooted in the fear of the future. We become preoccupied with what is going to happen -- whether we are talking about the next five minutes or the next five years -- because these concerned thoughts of the future are rooted in our concerned thoughts of the past.*
(3:2) "While thoughtless ideas preoccupy your mind, the truth is blocked."
*This idea will be developed as we proceed -- the purpose of thoughtless ideas and holding onto the past is to block the truth. <Purpose> remains one of the central themes in A Course in Miracles, and Jesus repeatedly emphasizes it as the means for understanding the ego's thought system, as seen, for example, in his introduction to the laws of chaos (T-23.II.1:1-5). This then, is another pregnant statement our minds could slide past, because it reveals the motivation for holding onto thoughtless ideas, be they concerns of the past, fears of the future, or present feelings of guilt. They are all purposive attempts to keep hidden the truth of our Identity as Christ.*
(3:3) "Recognizing that your mind has been merely blank, rather than believing that it is filled with real ideas, is the first step to opening the way to vision."
*As is the case throughout the three books of A Course in Miracles, Jesus' focus is on having us remove "the blocks to the awareness of love's presence" (T-in.1:7). These blocks are the problem. We do not have to be concerned about what Jesus or truth are doing, but we have to be vigilant about what the <ego> is doing. It is very helpful, therefore, to understand that in holding thoughtless ideas our minds are blank, because these ideas are about the past. That begins the process of opening up the door to true perception, the vision of true forgiveness that leads us to the truth.*
(4:1-3) "The exercises for today should be done with eyes closed. This is because you actually cannot see anything, and it is easier to recognize that no matter how vividly you may picture a thought, you are not seeing anything. With as little investment as possible, search your mind for the usual minute or so, merely noting the thoughts you find there."
*Some of the earlier exercises call for our eyes to be open. The point here, and later on as well, is that there is no difference between what we see or what we think. They are the same. Here Jesus is not talking about what we are perceiving externally, but focusing on what we are thinking. We see again the important emphasis placed on not making any of our thoughts special, or more or less important than any other. ... The lesson moves now to our specific thoughts:*
(4:4-5:3) "Name each one by the central figure or theme it contains, and pass on to the next. Introduce the practice period by saying:
I seem to be thinking about ___.
Then name each of your thoughts specifically, for example:
I seem to be thinking about [name of a person], about [name of an object], about [name of an emotion],
and so on, concluding at the end of the mind-searching period with:
But my mind is preoccupied with past thoughts."
*Thus we are asked to practice the central aspect of the process of forgiveness: bringing the specifics of our illusions to the non-specific truth of the Holy Spirit, expressed here in the statement: "But my mind is preoccupied with past thoughts." *
(6) "This can be done four or five times during the day, unless you find it irritates you. If you find it trying, three or four times is sufficient. You might find it helpful, however, to include your irritation, or any emotion that the idea for today may induce, in the mind searching itself."
*Here is another wonderful example of how Jesus , at the same time he inspires us with his gentleness and patience, uses our resistance as part of our healing. As he states in the text, in the context of specialness:
"Such is the Holy Spirit's kind perception of specialness; His use of what you made, to heal instead of harm." (T-25.VI.4:1)
Even our irritation can serve the Holy Spirit's purpose of forgiveness, if we let Him help us.*
