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Reaching out to this list in hopes that someone can offer some unschooling perspective or experience. The other day my daughter, 3 and a half, asked me, ¡°Mommy, when will I go to kindergarten?¡± I told her that children don¡¯t go to kindergarten until age 5, and asked what she thought would be fun about it. She said, ¡°I don¡¯t know. I just really want to go to kindergarten.¡±
She has never been to daycare or preschool, although as a 1-2 year old she tagged along for drop off and pick up when her brother was at a part time play-based preschool. She doesn¡¯t know anyone in kindergarten (we¡¯ve gone on to unschool her brother, now 6 and a half). The kids she sees most regularly are the other members of our homeschool play group, none of whom has ever been to kindergarten. Her only knowledge of it comes from casual mentions and the many portrayals she¡¯s run across in books and cartoons. So¡how do I counterbalance the fictional portrayals to give her a meaningful and realistic sense of what school is? When I try to describe it to her, I hear myself sort of talking it down¡ªwhich I actually don¡¯t want to do! When she¡¯s old enough, I do want to give her the choice to go to kindergarten if she wants to¡ªbut not just because Sister Bear had a really fun first day there in a Berenstein Bears book left over from my ¡®80s childhood. Is anyone willing to share how you prepared a very young child to make a meaningful choice about school? Many thanks to anyone who takes the time to respond! sent from phone |
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On Thu, Dec 21, 2023 at 11:47 AM, Katie French wrote:
Reaching out to this list in hopes that someone can offer some unschooling perspective or experience. ?There's nothing else that should be in this discussion.? :-) I want to start with some philosophical considerations, to help with your thinking, since you're not yet on the edge of compulsory attendance laws. Some parents are very sensitive to manipulation (and some kids are).? Some people are so fearful of "manipulation" that they won't even try to sweeten an offer, or feel guilty about persuasive arguments.? ? My personal sensitivity is honesty.? If parents are dishonest in their persuasive arguments, that's harmful to the relationship, and to future trust,? and to parental integrity. There are classic stereotypes that are based on human nature.? ?Some parents press a child to succeed and excel in areas where the parent was unable to succeed or even participate.? Sports, maybe.? Ballet.? :-)? Academics.? Music.? If you think about such pressures on kids or teens, that might be a direction you know you want to avoid. I have seen that in homeschooling, though, of all sorts. Some parents have started there, and made home so fun that school isn't as attractive.? Having friends already, a playgroup or park day, can help.? Some people have that possibility and more people don't, but consider finding? other families to hang out with who are considering homeschooling (not necessarily unschooling), so the child would still have others to play with and hang out with. Some parents let the child go to school, with an offer to bring him home if it's not fun after a while. That page has stories of several families. It's a luxury to have time to consider this. ? Sandra ? ? |
¿ªÔÆÌåÓýOpinions can change a lot in two years. When they are closer to 5 and if they still want to attend school, it would be worthwhile to discover what school means to them.?Both my kids wanted to go to school at 5. We live across the street from a school and school to them was recess and a pretty lunch box and backpack. When I discovered that, we went to the store and picked out a backpack and lunch box. We then had a picnic near the school and I said they could go and play with the kids at recess. They decided recess was much shorter than a park day, way too hectic, and that they could use their lunch box and backpack for picnics elsewhere and have more fun.? We always check in every year to see if they still want to homeschool. They are 9 and 13 and still choosing to not attend school.? Janelle On Dec 21, 2023, at 12:15?PM, Sandra Dodd <aelflaed@...> wrote:
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When my daughter asked me what school was like I told her that she would not be able to choose how she spent most of her time, but would have to do what the teacher said.
Having choices really matters to her so that was enough to deter her. I still remember the horrified face she made. (After never being to school she graduated summa cum lauda and is now 24 and perfectly able to hold a job and follow instructions at her work. ) Regards, Robyn C Robyn L Coburn Http://WorkInProduction.com Http://IggyJingles.com My book is available now at Http://DervishDust.com |
?I realized I was unclear.Thank you for the clarification, Robyn¡ªI assumed that was what you meant! Each reply was helpful to me. I¡¯ve gained so, so much from the archives of this group, and am happy that there are still members willing to help a new unschooler along. Katie |
RobynC